HibsFan

I would genuinely ban the phrase “it isn’t VAR that’s to blame, it’s the people running it!” until people can get it into their thick skulls that we (the anti-VAR lot) already know that that’s what VAR is, and that’s precisely why we don’t want it.

This is what my Grandad started following Hibs for in the 30s right enough.

Shankland and diets do not belong in the same sentence, he is so fucking fat - what the hell is going on with Hearts’ conditioning team?

It is the problem. Technology opens the door to re-refereeing football matches with decisions that are totally subjective. The laws of the game are not black and white, technology does not fix this and never could. It absolutely is the problem because it cannot stop poor decisions, because what constitutes a poor decision?

The forelocks won’t tug themselves.

For recent: see “since 1874”.

Mediocrity is obviously relative, nobody is trying to dispute that. What I, and any right-minded poster, is saying that - even for a club like Rangers - calling European final + Scottish Cup + League title in the past 24 months “mediocrity” is a ludicrous shout. The only way it could be mediocre is if you’ve signed up to support Rangers with the expectation that they win everything and dominate everyone. In which case, you have the mentality and worldview of an egotistic child.

I agree with your point, but if Celtic or Rangers didn’t win anything for thirty seasons straight then I think you’d see some (most) of those “I support the same team I supported as a kid) fans vanish into thin air; only to magically reappear when they started dominating again.

I wouldn’t go as far as to say no reasonable person could support them, but you must admit that it certainly takes a stunted, child-like mindset to pick a team because they win all the team and never manage to get bored of it. They make Marvel movies that are less one-sided and more interesting than Celtic’s current and Rangers’ 1990s dominance.

Yep, it's also very often untrue too. Earlier today I had a quick click on our friend Johnny's profile (his recent media was a combination of Scottish football meets busty women ) and was shocked to discover that he regularly attended Cappielow in the early 60s as a kid. He's been supporting Celtic for "more than 55 years" apparently. Two googles later... ...and... ...we have our answer. Probably just a total coincidence, mind you.

They get to go and soak up the Spanish sunshine before and after their pumpings. We trudge through to Glasgow and stare at a pole in winter every few months for ours.

We can all stand down, everyone. Johnny has come along and helpfully solved the problem for us. Apparently right, all we need to do to close the gap is sign Aaron Mooy when he's a free agent. Don't sweat the small stuff about things like wages and whether his career ambitions align with playing for Ross County. You see? He's a free agent, that means that any club in Scotland could have signed him. Well done to Celtic for being sooooooo clever and realising that when the rest of us didn't. You really do deserve all of those trophies for having the smarts that our silly little clubs just can't possess.

How I’m choosing to imagine this conversation went:

An actual fucking supporters club called Leith Celtic btw. Frankly, I simply pity them. They are life's losers, without the moral fibre or character to support an actual football team. Clearly they are lacking the emotional maturity to follow a club who actually might lose a domestic game more than once or twice a year. So off they go to Glasgow, in search of something "more". The vicarious feeling of superiority and dominance that they don't get in their miserable lives away from football. That special feeling of being accepted in a cult of fellow weirdos, oddballs and divorcees. I look forward to their early exit from Europe - and the subsequent gnashing of teeth and wailing - more and more every year. F**k them.

Some things never change.

Odd because we’re regularly reminded that they’re Scotland’s third force. And yet they seemed to get a harder time off Morton?

A comment @Monkey Tennis once made that stuck with me on this topic was that, and I'm probably butchering the retelling, the non-Old Firm teams should be allowed to handle the ball and run with it, such is the level of inequality we've reached in Scottish football.

Gee, why did the magical box operated by referees from Lanarkshire tell him to have another look? It sure is a mystery!

Gate money split and a salary cap introduced. Of course, Rangers fans would oppose that - and fair enough - but surely the World's Biggest Socialists™ in the East End would be up for it?

Because he correctly saw that Kent slipped and put his foot on Egan-Riley's leg to make contact, I'd imagine. That Raskin challenge could easily have been a red and probably would have been if a Hibs player had done it at Ibrox.

I know the “we’re good and they’re bad” thing gets a little bit tiring but come on to f**k. They are just the lowest of the low. Their song, fascist ditty about murdering Catholics. Our song, two brothers from Leith paying tribute to the area.

Like clockwork.

Catastrophic ones, one would imagine. Wee shame.

Since that Tiermaker thing is taking over Twitter I thought I'd present my opinions in that format: Excellent away days: Hearts: would be nice if it didn't fill me with absolute fucking dread every time. Hibs: yes, it is a bit smug and weegie-type behaviour to put your own ground in there, but face facts. It's a class trip. Ross County: the pinnacle. Good away days: Dundee United: if you're in a full Shed as we were in March 2017 then it elevates to excellent, but the Jim McLean stand is a dump and the stewards are c***s. Great city for drinking in mind you. Motherwell: great town for drinking in and if you have a decent number of fans going through the stand behind the goal is class. Average away days: Aberdeen: good city to drink in, Pittodrie is a dump but it's historic all the same. Think Hibs' horrendous record here puts a bad perspective on it. St Mirren: bit soulless as a ground (Love Street fwiw would still be top of the top) but the pubs in Paisley are excellent despite what the tory farmers say. Poor away days: Celtic and Rangers: utterly interchangeable in my mind and don't enjoy them one bit. Paying £30+ to watch the daytrippers from Ireland try and "get one over you" when their £4m striker scores the third. No thank you. Glasgow pubs are alright but obviously not the ones near the grounds, which are full of the literal scum of the earth. Firhill is obviously the Thinking Man's away trip. Kilmarnock: the ground is terrible. Shite plastic pitch and they stick you up in the gods which makes for a better view but a worse atmosphere. Only on rare occasions like the 2013 quarter final do we take a crowd through that suddenly makes it one of the best (like Motherwell is). Awful away days: Livingston: soulless bowl, our worst type of fans goes along, we quite often lose and the pub options around there are terrible in the main. If you like football because you drive to and from the ground quickly, go and follow rugby please. St Johnstone: all of the above except the corners aren't filled in. Tayside police and stewards are similarly cretins. 2.4 miles away from the station and their fans see no problem with this. Again, if jumping in your car and getting away quickly after a game is for you – then great. But they either need to build a rail station there or just knock it down.

One of these grounds is not like the others, One of these grounds doesn't belong, Can you tell which ground is not like the others By the time I finish my song?