Jarballs

Any truth in him being ready to put pen to paper then being pissed off that Billy McKay was getting paid more when he signed his new deal? Not that I'm bothered, if we only get to have one of them it's no choice at all

Certainly not ITK or anything but hearing there's a "big black guy with dreads" and a "tall Englishman" training with the team today, anyone else heard owt?

The best thing about us signing Brian Fucking Graham is it would stop him scoring about eighteen goals against us every season. Even if he turned out to be shite or perma-crocked I'm in

Blimey... Well, every day's a school day. I'd imagine Romanian schools will be a bit safer now for a while at least with Tate and his brother banged up

Wait a minute... Tories are blue, Labour are red, like the pills in the Matrix! And that's why a film from nearly a quarter of a century ago got a misogynist sex-trafficker jailed. Am I doing this right?

The trouble with narcissists is that they're allowed oxygen - both publicity wise like this Tate c**t and literal O2 for breathing. They're talented manipulators, they manage to come across as plausible to many and are cast-iron wrong 'uns, as well as bullies and cowards. I've seen too many cause incredibly cruel and long-term damage to people I care about, if that makes me biased then I'm absolutely fine with that. I despise them.

We can't afford to punt him before the end of his contract apparently, board taking the massive gamble that he won't get us relegated then we part ways at the end of his contract. The consequences of that being the wrong shout are far too great in my opinion. If our board actually did the right thing for a change I'd be genuinely shocked

Was more an 'Agree' rather than 'Like' but yeh. I don't even have the energy to get pissed off anymore. I'd settle for 8th at this rate

It's gone past the point of hating Brian Graham. Scoring against us is just what he does, it would be like hating wasps for stinging, Tories for being c***s, Qataris for murdering migrant workers... Oh no, wait, I do hate all of those things

Looking for a bookie who will let me bet all of my working organs on Brian fucking Graham to score four hat-tricks before half-time

Most people wouldn't put in a two-footed tackle, fire high velocity snot out of their nostrils onto the deck or have paying members of the public scream their opinions at them at their work. Not saying I disagree, just not sure that's the strongest argument against armbands

Just as well Rangers B are in the Lowland League, otherwise this might have been REALLY embarrassing

Screen froze on this. Caption competition anyone?

Apologies if already asked, but could anyone PM me a stream for this? For my godson, just so I can let him know something he should definitely avoid, obviously

Fahkin' NAWTY!

Marks and Spencer's big team found

Referee's expression at full time sums it up nicely

Even the P&B ads are trolling Dundee United now

Will call it quits with one own goal or hilarious sending off of equal value if we get you in the cups. Seriously though, great result! Just don't f**k it 6-0 or something in the return leg I obviously didn't ask politely enough

Will call it quits with one own goal or hilarious sending off of equal value if we get you in the cups. Seriously though, great result! Just don't f**k it 6-0 or something in the return leg

You're welcome lads.

Right cuntos, it seems me and my mate are driving through to Perth at 5pm for this carry-on tomorrow. Main and most important question, are the McDiarmid Park pies any good?

Just realised all of the Partick players had 'Raya' and the number 71 on their training tops, which makes me look a bit thick. Although possibly not as thick as a professional, full-time footballer offering to meet a fan in the car park for a fight after the game because he shouted "you're not laughing now"