GordonD

The lump is the size of half a tennis ball so there's no bloody mistaking it. Thanks for all the good wishes, guys. Hope to see you soon.

Cheaper to go and collect it yourself.

Not going to be around for the next week or so - tomorrow I'm going into hospital to have a lump removed from my leg. Been annoying me for a few weeks and it turns out it's a tumour. So play nice and keep this place in good order until I get back.

Maybe it was a gentlemen's agreement which has been ditched as corporate greed reasserts itself.

Also why they used to have sweets and snacks by the checkout, so that kids would pester their parents while they were having their stuff scanned. I think the rules were changed to stop that.

Every time I go, they've moved the feng shui stuff somewhere else.

Probably doesn't contain real cats, like those supposedly hedgehog-flavour ones they brought out several years ago.

Wordle 465 5/6 Struggling there but a shot in the dark paid off.

Also, bear in mind this was two and a half hours later. I'd already eaten something else by then.

Also no guarantee that a dog hadn't pissed on the box.

After two and a half hours? It would be a bit cold by then. Just binned it.

Delivery drivers who don't deliver. I ordered a pizza yesterday, which was due to arrive at six o'clock. It didn't, even though the website said it had. I gave it another ten minutes then got in touch with UberEats, who said they would look into it. They also asked me to check my front door in case it had been left there. It wasn't, and I knew it was unlikely to be since the guy would have had to buzz the intercom to get into my stair. UberEats then came back with this: I’ve checked the issue from our end and it looks like the delivery partner hasn’t followed our delivery guidelines. We have processes in place to review this type of feedback with delivery partners, so your concern hasn’t gone unnoticed. That first bit was certainly true, as I found out. They gave me a full refund. At half past eight I took a rubbish bag down to the communal bin and found the pizza lying in the street, next to the stair door. The lazy bugger had just left it there and fucked off without even bothering to buzz the intercom. Fortunately I hadn't left a tip in advance as I often do.

I thought Wan King was a Chinese table-tennis player until I discovered Smirnoff.

Wordle 464 2/6 Quick, where's the nearest Lottery outlet?

Tiny Tim - Tiptoe Through the Tulips

And how many other waiting staff in the restaurant aren't being promoted and will have to live on poverty wages and tips? Still, at least they'll have first go at the waste food bins at the end of the day.

The Tories have abolished the top tax rate. Coming next year: the tax rate will be reduced to zero for those earning more than £100,000 a year. That will encourage all those on minimum wage to better themselves. Also, it will save the greedy b*****ds the effort of setting up overseas tax-avoidance schemes.

Wordle 463 4/6 Must confess I was really struggling until a sudden inspiration.

Knackered his engine as well.

Wordle 462 4/6

American Cream Soda Red Kola Sainsbury's Cloudy Lemonade

Happy Talk - Captain Sensible

I remember a few years ago there was one old dear who was 108 or something so had received several cards over the years, and she complained that the photo of the Queen on the front was the same on all of them.

Wordle 461 4/6 Hallelujah!

Sindy Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Want to Have Fun