GordonD

Edinburgh Castle was secretly sold to Elon Musk during lockdown and what's there now is an inflatable replica.

Is that to make it easier for the Yanks to shoot?

No, there's only one hat that makes you look like a nonce.

Make sure it's meat, to redress the balance.

Serves you right for not having a normal-size cat like other people.

That's probably what they were hoping for.

Zebras were banned from racing stables because the horses kept trying to get their pyjamas off.

Ant giving Dec a lift in to work?

To be fair the Japanese are shit-hot engineers. On an old episode of QI Stephen Fry told the story of a Japanese guy who was in Hiroshima on business when the atomic bomb was dropped. He wasn't injured and returned home - to Nagasaki so he was there when that was bombed too. But the point was that the day after a nuclear attack the trains were still running.

If it showed the Allies winning (which obviously they all did) it boosted morale.

There was one on Monday too, when Abi described Kevin as "a free ride".

Wait until one falls on a child and the parent sues the council

^^^^ Imelda Marcos found