Steve_Wilkos

I hear Jamie Langfield will be available in the summer if Fart of Midlothian are looking for a less "jokey" goalkeeper. You've just been Wilko'd.

Congratulations to Partick. The top 6 finish is 100% guaranteed. Irrefutable fact.

I am glad to hear of Goram's demise.

Refreshed with one second left so I could have another fair crack of the whip. Telt

Just tried again and got 85.

I got 83/112.

Accies World is down. Is that merely a coincidence?

I enjoy watching him suffer!

It was particularly pleasing to watch "Lazzo" make an arse out of himself at Pittodrie again. What a clown.

I don't know who this guy is, but he looks like he's made of CHEESE hahahaha.

Funny post fella!

#ClownzoIN

You think this is funny, do you?! You, sir, are a DISGRACE! Get off of my stage right now.

I had a w**k in the shower this morning.

Busy thread, this. Joke team.

And Pittodrie

Agreed.

Look at this "mate" nicey nice shite. Absolute cringe, mate.

The thread title is "Favourite quirks of Scottish stadiums" Not "Let's discuss the shite view from the away end at Celtic Park while one of the most tedious posters on P&B pathetically attempts to defend it". The head of P&B security politely reminds posters to remain on topic.

The fact that the Inverness Cat Tickler fans have boycotted their stadium since it was built is certainly quirky.

Indeed it was, sir.

Here is some analysis on a different the rangers midfielder: Niko Kranjcar: Disappointing league bow for high-profile star By Steven Thompson Former Scotland striker Niko Kranjcar is one of the main reasons I don't have an FA Cup winners medal. In 2008 he played a starring role for Portsmouth in a famous win against Cardiff City. Curiously, he was partnered in centre midfield beside former Ibrox idol Pedro Mendes who was brilliant. I came on as a substitute, replacing the now QPR manager Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink for the last 20 minutes. Kranjcar's contribution at Wembley that day was simply breathtaking. Attacking midfielders are often the chief composers for team's attacking threat. Awareness, creativity, precision are words that spring to mind when describing the craft. They seek out and explore space between opposition, midfield and defence probing for the incisive pass, always scanning for the next opportunity. In addition, they have to be able to turn with the ball under pressure, dribble past defenders and score goals. It becomes clear why the attacking midfielder is such a valuable role. Kranjcar is the depiction of such a player. However, having watched him struggle against an industrious Hamilton on Saturday at a packed Ibrox, I couldn't help think he was a shadow of the opponent I faced in that FA Cup final. The Croatian looked laboured, was caught in possession often and had no impact on the match whatsoever. There is no question that he isn't up to speed in terms of his match sharpness but Hamilton deserve massive credit as their midfield five didn't give Rangers any time to imprint their usual fluid passing game. In Ali Crawford the visitors have a very talented attacking midfielder who showed his high-profile adversary how it's done with an exquisite turn and finish for the opening goal. The question is do Rangers persist with Kranjcar until he finds his sharpness or do they give one of the many other players in the same position an opportunity? Harry Forrester changed the game when he came on for Rangers with his outstanding assist and positive runs. He looked much more of a threat than Kranjcar. I hope Kranjcar rediscovers his undoubted ability soon as Scottish football is a better place with a player of his profile and experience and, at 31, he still has a good few years of entertaining supporters before he brings down the curtain on a distinguished career.

Speaking of Dundee's empty trophy cabinet, here is an old, but classic gag. Q. What is Dundee's website? A. www.dundeefc.co.uk

^ Banton du Beke is here.

Beyonce is undoubtedly stunning, but I have no doubts that she would be a boring shag. She would just lie on her back with her legs open and expect you to do all the work. Rihanna is undoubtedly stunning, and I have no doubts that she would be an exceptional shag. Bum sex would be the order of the day, and in every position imaginable. She would put your pleasure first, and ensure that you maintained an erection once you had ejacked so that you were both ready to go again. Rita Bora is undoubtedly average, and I have no doubts she would be a boring shag.