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Jimmy Shaker

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Everything posted by Jimmy Shaker

  1. Their AGM was a fascinating experience. Watching Dickie and Watt on stage preaching to five thousand shareholders was surreal. Was like sitting in the audience for a televangelist show in America. Mercifully, my ability to grow facial hair means I escaped undetected.
  2. They'll get a chasing at Inverurie. 18 trips at Harlaw Park, 17 home wins, Fort's win coming in 2002. The record at Claggan Park is almost the same (P19, L18, with the win coming in 2010 at the end of the season when Locos were already on the beach). Locos are the one team who never get distracted or pay any heed to Fort's bullshit, they just show up and skelp them every year. Huntly and Wick could be a challenge for them, but the other three may see them get points. They'll do a number on Clach tho, they always do. If they go into the Strathspey game having not picked up anything, though, I foresee messiness. Having seen Turriff today, I can imagine they'll now be very concerned at getting caught up in this mess.
  3. Despite what they may believe, or tell you, or have their mothers tell you, women can't do housework.
  4. Much preferred it when I knew the office was open, and I could at least go in a couple of days a week, or even just a Monday to get the working week going, after which I'd be fine. Think we were about 50/50 in my last place, split between folk who liked WFH and who you thought you'd never see again and folk who needed to come in otherwise nothing would be done, but by September 2021 it had all sorted itself out and management were content to let folk suit themselves, so long as 40 hours was filled in on your timesheet and you were at least available all day, even if not actually busy because you'd been up til three in the morning working during Monday Night Football or whatever. Have finally made an actual office in the house, meaning we're all but certain to get recalled back in at short notice.
  5. At the end of the season, they will leave - as will the manager - and they'll start again.
  6. They've tried this Angry Young Men thing before. Unfortunately, they seem to forget that playing a bit as well tends to be needed, rather than just spending ninety minutes swearing and kicking folk.
  7. She could tell my response via the back of my head that this wasn't happening today. Normally I've no problem with doing a full spread in the morning, but not today.
  8. Doing breakfast. Me - I'm doing sausage pieces, you want the square kind or the normal? Her - Normal Me - Fine, I'll sort it As the sausages are being prepared to go into a piece... Her - Can I get mine with eggs instead? Just the white tho, so you'll need to be careful not to break the yolk. And mushrooms? And a tomato? No you can't. Fucking off-menu bullshit. Every time. I offered sausage pieces, that's all that's on my menu today. And I can guarantee that at least one of the components of whatever she comes through with will need complaining about.
  9. Even in the circumstances Brechin found themselves on Saturday - missing players, thin bench, stuck in Darkest Shire wondering if they'd get out alive - they should still be battering six shades of Sunday out of Fort. Lossie put four on them, and that was against a team of better players with games under their belt. Some of this lot ain't seen a proper game of football in weeks. If ever.
  10. There's not been much desire to change the format, mainly because the format has bounced between 15 and 18 teams and for the last decade has been relatively fluid compared to other periods in the history of the league (three new teams in, one team out, then Brechin appeared). Stables plan (and the one a couple of years later) were thrown out because certain Shire types were trying to finagel plans amongst themselves to avoid trips to Wick and Fort, only to get rumbled. Only playing each other twice a season means there's still some novelty to proceedings every year.
  11. The cornerstone of Brora's two full season titles was to hammer teams inside of the first half, or at least be winning at the interval. Only twice in their unbeaten start to the 2013/14 season did they not reach half time in front, and one of those was 0-0. In the other, they were 1-2 down to Huntly, but won 4-2. The rest, they were either in front and in control, or out of sight. Allowed them the benefits of easy second halves, which meant their small-ish squad stayed fresh all season, which in turn led to them doing the exact same thing the following year when they finished the season unbeaten. The Broch are slightly different in that they are a very tough nut to crack. Six times this season they've come from behind to win or find a late goal to rescue a point. They will, on occasion, just go at a team from start to end and absolute will not stop until you are dead. That Fort William team will be no better than the one they've just ditched, or the team that one replaced.
  12. Useless Tory fermers losing to Tory fishermen.
  13. Either she goes to Tesco, or you do. Never both. Have spent the last six months doing weekend shifts in the place and bored spouses/other halves are just cluttering up the place. Them and idiot bairns with wheels in their trainers.
  14. Bits coming from IKEA. Her - You in this week? Me - Am working Thursday and Friday morning, 0600-1200hrs, will be out Her - I've stuff coming from IKEA, will you be in to receive it? Me - Other than those hours, yes Short pause... Her - It's coming in two loads on Thursday and Friday morning, between 0830 and 1230hrs. Bravo, hen.
  15. Putting things in the oven on tinfoil, so come eating time you're bits of fucking foil off everything. Have explained to her - and her mother - about the existence of baking paper or the concept of washing baking trays post-use, but both just carry on with the foil thing. Also - stripping the bed and not immediately putting new bedding on.
  16. Went to the Premier League in Aberdeen at the last do before the AECC was closed. I think north of 98% of the crowd was shit-faced and only paid any attention when Van Gerwen threw away a massive lead against John Henderson, at which point the place went berserk. Was friendly enough, just felt like very few really gave a shit about the darts at all. Was sat at the tables down the front next to some serious darts types who were keeping their own scores and notes on ton+ finishes and the like, and they had a truly miserable night. Am (supposedly) in London this week next year so will try for tickets to this caper.
  17. Fort will finish the season. They always do. In all their years of shit, they've only rarely come close to folding, and probably never as close as folk think. Even at their worst - no committee, changing rooms on fire, ground being vandalised - they always carried on. If only they could monetize the nonsensical press they get, they'd be out of this league in three seasons.
  18. The Highland League table, organised by PPG. Just in case.
  19. Nairn won 3-2. Where did this guff come from?
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