Branch Ton

Bless, our very own Huge McIlfanny wannabe sports journalist of the year,

What about your A in English?

Kindly explain why you think each of the various parts of the post is dogshite chump. Be very precise., none of your usual battyshit turgid prose please..

Whilst the shitfest continues our new chairman is busying away creating a challenging but achievable strategy vision. He states that we currently have talented and hard working staff across all departments. Hopefully his nickname isn’t Nero. Our offer should be competitive and attractive football. Instead we seem to have a budget aimed solely to try to finish above the bottom two using hoof ball and rotational fouling. We have a paper thin small squad with insufficient defenders, an unbalanced midfield lacking in pace and creativity and SFA in the way of emerging prospects. It’s a disgrace that we cannot come close to having a complete bench. If we cannot compete with the likes of Arbroath against whom our record is appalling wtf is the point of going through this angst year after year. Of course Dougie’s splash the cash approach isn’t the answer either but neither is a zero risk one. The size and quality of the current squad renders us uncompetitive in this league and certainly not what we need in the seaside league. Better to bite the bullet now and have the Dad’s Army guys depart by mutual agreement and bring in some younger part-timers until the vision is complete.

Develop what and into what exactly? He has already delegated the development of King and been allowed to sign his aging cronies, in the full knowledge of their inherent limitations, but presumably on the basis they will fit with his one dimensional playing style. You can often tell the cut of a man by the trousers he wears.

Just for once could the sycophantic tosser who interviews Imrie respond to “it’s down to individual errors” by asking Imrie to admit to some of his own. And maybe also why he doesn’t consider a playing comeback given that the ever present Broadfoot is only one year older than him.

I bet your sad little red dotting heart needs that more than I do.

Hopefully your astonishment will subside when you understand the difference between intellect and intelligence.

Ooft. You have neither the intellect nor physical presence to back up this sort of stuff. Pipedown you arrogant little p***k.

Well he is clearly not the brightest bulb in the box if he didn’t understand the anti betting rules.

Imrie is guilty of cronyism and ageism. Someone needs to vet his recruitment policy and oversee the development of younger players. If the likes of Joe Jordan, Joe Harper, Neil McNab we’re here now they too would be shunted out on loan never to return. Whoever decided to sanction Imrie’s recruitment of Broadfoot , out of obscurity, and Power is should be kicked up the arse. It’s utter bollocks that we can’t give younger players like McGrattan a regular place,

Back to back shaming home defeats. Not to worry though Dougie probably has another couple of over the hill mates in the pipeline who need something to fill in between their next tattoos.

What fresh form of hell is this dog’s bollocks of a team. . Sooner Imrie, who is nowhere are good as he thinks he is, is off to Dundee Utd with his most of his useless former acquaintances the better. So Strapp is not in his plans but he brings in Miller and Crawford. Says it all.

What a surprise, Imrie’s toadie gives you a red dot without deigning to otherwise defend Imrie’s’ clusterf**k of a squad assembly. We are doomed to a future of watching journeymen centre backs and holding midfielders running about a bit pretending to press but playing aimless cross field passes and/or hoof ball as there is no outlet. Sod trying to find and develop creative players. Wouldn’t be surprised if KIng isn’t loaned to Greenock Juniors if he has a dip in form.

Of course he ain’t going to fix it. Anyone who thinks two home defeats in a row is a “one off”, gets tactically outwitted by Dick Campbell yet again, can’t coax performances out of the club’s most valuable assets in Lyon and Strapp and favours cronies to ability is probably better off running the Tory Party than managing Morton.

Lyon and Strapp were the clubs most valuable playing assets not so long ago. . Imrie’s inability to manage and develop them is a huge negative on his CV in my opinion. Coaches who can set up and manage workaday drones and win percentage games for a season or two are fairly common but only the best can really develop talent. Imrie falls well short of that at the moment.

But mine wasn’t really a reply was it? I was merely making an observation that on Christmas Day a nonentity chose to spend his time posting an inane comment in the vague expectation that his Christmas present would be a few green dots from an even bigger bunch of deadbeats, dopeheads and wannabe censors. Carpe Diem little boy blue and keep blowing your horn.

Not sure why. I went to Kilmarnock once. It was a depressing shithole. Worse than Falkirk.

Not sure what’s sadder; a) You reading and commenting upon this dross on Christmas Day b) You having to edit a five word post c) Master influencer Toby giving up his time on Christmas Day to green dot you when he could have been posting on selfie’s of him kissing Doug Imrie’s jock strap on Facebook. d) Those applicants for the Morton manager’s job who didn’t even make it to the interview short list given the successful candidate’s far from extensive achievement record. e) The fact that even under fan ownership most fans have no idea who was on the interview panel and what the assessment criteria was.

That’s a bit of a puerile response even for you Butthead. I have never said I condone the actions you seem obsessed with. I merely take exception to self important sleekit sycophants like Toby and then you perpetually generating faux moral outrage when you lead far from perfect lives yourselves. Perhaps if you had just stuck to the over the hill error ridden defender line, and not tried to conflate the two issues, the get him out of here message might have gotten through rather than the club circling the wagons and issuing desist messages.

I don’t doubt. You probably have that tattoed on your flaccid little member. You seem that sort of guy.

Women can flash at me as often as they like dopehead. For “serving food” substitute “ sanctimonious weak mouthed hypocritical numpties”. Interviewer: Do tell me candidate how you would motivate an underachieving forward who has spent most of his career bumming around in poor quality teams and who seems to be more concerned about his sleeve tattoo than becoming a better player. “ Candidate: Shout at him and tell him to give 110% AssimButt: Give him a few eccies. Mmm

Aw come on, we will get nowhere by simply stating the blindingly obvious and mouthing platitudes. You would hope that our renowned rigorous CV and competence based assessment interview panel didn't fall for that tosh again. As if Gus didn't know draws were no good, though I'll concede he was overly concerned at not losing 3 points to our relegation rivals. Until such time as the tattooed man explains how we will win games, with this and then his own new squad, and then goes on to demonstrate this by achievement I'll reserve judgement.

Words are cheap. A headless chicken giving 110% is still a headless chicken. We need to play smarter and cut out errors. That requires improved technique and better concentration. Those not up for that need to be binned. Tbh I would need some time to have confidence in someone who thinks a body covered in ink blobs is a positive attribute.

Brilliant stuff. Forget all this proven track record of success bollocks and let’s go for guys who were involved with failed teams. Presumably in your world a ban for breaching SFA rules on gambling is a big tick on the old CV.