Ken Dodds Dads Dead Dog

Pars need to go up this season or they're in trouble financially again. Perry would be an improvement on their current defenders.

I've not seen it mentioned but Jason Thomson is not captain material. I can't imagine him getting the team fired up. I don't think we have any leaders in the team at the moment. Get ian Davidson back on loan in the transfer window.

Dad: What do you want for Christmas? Son: A unicorn. Dad: Seriously though what do you want? Son: I want the Rovers Board to realise that Grant Murray is a poor manager and replace him with someone who knows what he's doing and for the Rovers to win a match playing good football in both halfs. Dad: What colour unicorn do you want?

I was there 83-90.

Ha ha. I remember that story doing the rounds at Dunearn Primary back in the 80's.

What street? Crack street?

Suspicions were raised years ago when he wouldn't shower next one of Antonio Calderons Spanish signings Señor Willie.

Hang about, look out, it's Supergran.

You're probably right. They were so sick when you won the league by buying players with money you didn't have. They probably thought the games finished if teams are allowed to do this.

I reckon we'll be lucky to get 1000 v Qots.

What about the Rangers tickets in the Rovers end?

I've got a history of the Pars book which I keep in my toilet. Handy if you run out of bog roll. Must be down to about 3 pages left now

I've got a history of the Pars book which I keep in my toilet. Handy if you run out of bog roll. Must be down to about 3 pages left now

We gave hearts a harder game in the cup last year when we only had 10 men. The hearts players all looked as though they knew their job and were extremely professional. Even their players warming up at half time had proper sessions going on whilst ours just try and see how many keepie uppies they can do.

Livvy suck dog balls.