Shotgun

Chili's growing scary fast.

I’m not sure what in my browser history makes P&B’s logarithm think I’d be interested in anything on Fox Nation. But recently I’ve been seeing ads for Rosanne Barrs upcoming comedy special “Cancel This!” With a picture of her giving the finger. No mystery who the target demographic will be for that laugh fest. Now I’m getting promotions for Rob Schneider’s (anyone remember him?) latest attempt at resurrecting his career. I quote: Rob Schneider takes aim at today's woke culture in this must see Fox Nation exclusive. My eyes can’t roll far enough back in my head.

Ah, yes. The old "It's the anti-Fascists who are the real Fascists." I suppose we should be grateful you haven't (yet) gone down the Trumpian route of "It's because of people like you that people join the Orange Order."

It’s the vapour from the petrol that goes flash bang, isn’t it?

Why are you the way you are?

They stopped making windows phones a few years ago, didn't they?

You can’t see Chili in this one cuz she’s hiding.

These last few pages...fucking hell. How long 'till the football starts again?

And there it is. My wife's grandmother was conned out of literally thousands by these vermin. f**k every last one of them.

Oh, he's real. At least I think he is. I've never met him, but I've heard of him often. My first job as an immigrant expat was at an inbound call centre taking reservations for a self-drive moving truck company. We were required to make 2 reservations for every hour worked. Easy enough, right? Well, except 1/2 my work week was on Sunday (5am to 5pm, 15 minutes lunch) and hardly anybody made reservations on Sunday. On Sunday, they called to complain that the truck they ordered wasn't at the pickup location. Or it had a flat tyre. Or it was a manual and they only knew how to drive automatic. Or the location was closed on Sundays. Or...or...or. And because the company didn't bother with fancy schmancy things like a Customer Service department, their calls came to the reservations team. I've worked in some form of customer facing position all my live and I have never experienced abuse like I got in that job. Call after call, hour after hour. It was soul crushing. During the week, my schedule was allegedly 5am to 9am but if calls were quiet (they always were at that time of day), you got sent home without pay. I was often back before Mrs Shotgun had left for work and was lucky if I made 3 or 4 sales a week. The ones who did get the reservations? They simply lied to the callers and told them whatever they wanted to hear in order to close the deal. And when the customer didn't get what they expected? Yep. They phoned the call center on Sunday to vent their hatred at me, who had literally no way to make things right. I'm amazed looking back, but I lasted almost 4 months before walking out mid-shift.

Given that I've listened to it against my will at least 6 billion times that, I'm sure I've brought down the average a bit.

We've been a dogless household since last September - the longest either of us have ever gone. But, as Colorado's winter appears to be finally over, we've been working with a number of shelters and rescue groups to find our next addition to the family. Neither of us are spring chickens so the plan had been to adopt an older dog, possibly a geriatric. That all changed on Tuesday when one of the rescue groups phoned and asked if we'd be interested in a puppy. Well, no, not really. But then they sent us some photos and you can all guess what happened after that. And so, today we went and picked her up. We haven't settled on the name yet but we're leaning towards Chili. Or Pepper. Or Copper. We'll see.

I once went on a business trip to Amsterdam with my American boss. She confused the hell out of everyone at dinner by referencing a conversation she'd had with an "African-American Dutch lady."

On the lack of sympathy issue - These billionaires have wealth beyond the dreams of avarice. They could have used it to save dozens, if not hundreds, maybe thousands of people's lives without the slightest inconvenience themselves. There are countless ways in which they could've made the world a better place, even if it was just making daily life pleasanter for the employees who created their wealth. Instead, they spent it on their own needless and trivial wants. Much like Michael Jackson spending millions on funfairs that only he could use, these twats were selfishness and greed personified. I'm with the 'Counterpoint' guy from Airplane quoted upthread. f**k 'em.

That was my first thought too. “Whooee, sorry folks that was me. Those green chilli breakfast burritos, huh?”

OK, then. WTF are you on about? Better? Forbes: Red states have higher gun death rates than blue states. Stop parroting Republican propaganda and think for yourself.

Bloody hell, I had totally forgotten McQueen was on my team this year. I was wondering why @Miguel Sanchez had tagged me. So, after eons of being nothing but a passenger on the Dead Pool train, 2 hits in the space of a week. Let’s keep ‘em coming ya coffin dodgers. (Still a bit sad about McQueen though)

A lass from Dorset. Heather, I think her name was. Ah, to be 19 again.

I'm surprised there's still even a debate about this when definitive video proof has been available for several years now. I can see why some of the previous, grainy footage would make people sceptical but I don't know how anyone can deny what this video clearly shows. Loch Ness Monster - Actual Footage

The fires of hell will be burning a little brighter tonight. As will my liver as I raise several glasses to toast GTF day for one of the world’s most horrible people. And incidentally, my first points in (I think) 3 years. Today is a good day.

Breaking news IRRELEVANT HAS-BEEN STATES OPINION ON SOMETHING HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT!!

Every summer holiday I vowed that this year, I was going to watch every episode of Robinson Crusoe. The whole thing, all the way through. That usually lasted about 3 episodes. After that I was out all day every day building dens, exploring rock pools etc, not stuck in front of screens like today's kids.* Actually I wasn't but I'm pretty sure I spent more time outside than I do today.