Shotgun

I think I might start walking up to people and saying “God told me I could have your car.” Wonder if anyone would take me seriously.

Better yet…

Lucozade's advertising slogan was "Lucozade aids recovery" until the mid-80s. Not sure what happened then to make them rethink the branding.

I got the alarm on my work phone but not my personal one. It was a bit of an odd experience because, firstly, I hadn't heard anything about it and secondly, I didn't know my work phone was in my jacket pocket on the back seat of the car as I was driving. Scared the bloody crap out of me. I was quite relieved to learn it was only a 5G Death Transmission.

They’re supposed to list the proportionately larger ingredient first, aren’t they? For example. a potato and meat pie has a higher tuber to dead animal ratio than a meat and potato pie. I think.

Opera.

We'll have to wait until the 23rd century to see if the new one is a patch on the old.

Did he apologise?

Maybe she could just set you on fire?

You’re totally right of course, but if Dim Javidson gets outed, I’ll be fucking ecstatic.

Why didn’t the babies come forward earlier?

I have never found The Marx Brothers or the Three Stooges even remotely funny and am at a loss as to why anyone else does. Laurel and Hardy, mind...

Yeah, I was thinking of him when I typed it.

Here in the US, Walmart have been closing a number of branches as the theft rate is so high, the shops are no longer profitable. They're also cutting staff to the point where all it would take to walk out with whatever you want is the brass neck to do it. I'm sure there's no connection between the two. On a similar topic, I was in a local Home Depot (like B&Q) at the weekend, and someone was buying one of those big beer coolers at the self-checkout. The young lass manning the registers strolled over, all casual like and lifted the lid for a peek-in. There was what looked like several hundred dollars-worth of stuff inside. The guy muttered something about having "left his credit card in the car" and legged it.

OK so summarise what we've learned: The English fans can sing a political song and the Scots fans should respond with courtesy because...we don't want politics in sport. Silencing the free speech of people you disagree with is the honourable and decent thing to do. And if they don't accept that then they're enemies of free speech. A dead woman must be respected for no other reason than that she's dead. Did I get it all?

"Calling Cards of Morons" thread for this pish.

I'm not proud of how hard I laughed at the 'Scouse kid' comment.

Then they came for the rapists And I did not speak out Because I was not...

Kelsey Grammar has been doing a lot of whining recently about how the industry is against him because of his vocal support for Trump. He's also declaring that he'll "Never apologise for being a Christian", as if anyone has ever asked him to. Sounds like he's laying the groundwork for when this dreck inevitibly gets dropped. "No mah fault, it wuz them libruls!" But yes, the original series, at least the early years, were among the best television ever. Niles (after attempting to use Martin's aerosol shaving cream): "I'm all hot. And foamy." Martin: "My hot n' foamy must've exploded!" Daphne: "He used to be a detective, you know."

Well, imagine the confusion if people thought it was 1600am. Chaos.

No. You’re thinking of McDonald’s.

Is it though? Supposing a team like Ross County (no disrespect) were bought by a kajillionaire who wanted to compete at the highest level. Would a world class player choose to relocate to London, Barcelona, Paris, Milan or...Dingwall? How big would the pay cheque have to be>

On the spatial awareness thing...supermarkets are terrible for this. When people want to stop and study the products on the shelves, they never seem to notice that someone else is doing the same thing on the other side of the aisle so the two of them are now blocking access for everyone else. That, or if they have the space to themselves, they'll park their cart diagonally across the aisle, thus achieving the same result. A pox on all their houses.

I'm trying to think if I've ever heard anyone say, "I'm going down north" or "I've been up south."