accies1874

4. Poor Things - Cinema I saw this in 35mm at the Glasgow Film Theatre and I can't really imagine seeing it any other way now as it made an incredibly striking film look even better, especially in those early scenes (the first 40 minutes, I think) which are devoid of colour but full of atmosphere similar to classic talkies and in particular some of the Universal Classic Monster films. Willem Dafoe's a mad scientist who has a Scottish accent, a patchwork face, burps out bubbles and creates weird hybrid animals, but the film focuses on his newest 'creation' - Bella Baxter, played by Emma Stone. She's an adult woman with the brain of a baby, and her performance charts the growth of her character in, for the most part, a really interesting way. It's reminiscent of a lot of sci-fi about learning to become human as she absorbs information at a rapid rate and often channels that information unconventionally - just as someone who's at once an infant and a genius would. She sells the growth of her character as she's exposed to so much of this fantastical take on real-world locations (London, Paris, Lisbon, Egypt, the sea but, importantly, not Glasgow which was where the source material was based). I really loved its sort of skewed sense of reality both in terms of its locations - which form a blend of Gothicism, fantasy and steampunk - and its language through how Bella interprets the world, kind of taking normal phrases and twisting them to make something unconventional yet also understandable. The score seems to grow with her in terms of being quite jerky with stabbing strings before becoming the really whimsical music heard in the trailer. There did seem to be an issue with the print I saw, though, as the audio levels would drop considerably for fairly long spells. Despite really appreciating the growth depicted in Emma Stone's performance, I didn't like her starting point. As she was portraying an adult with the brain of a child, she - and Margaret Qualley once she appears - interprets that as going for a stereotypical impression of an adult with mental disabilities which I tend to find quite uncomfortable as it always strikes me as an impression and those impressions are invariably a form of mockery. I don't think that Emma Stone was going for mockery whatsoever, and no one else does either given that she's got a great chance of winning Best Actress for this (I'd still much prefer Lily Gladstone to win), but it's not like she hasn't previously taken a role that would unwittingly cause controversy (Aloha!). Her character's comedic lines didn't vibe with me either, as I felt that they were the kinds of lazy jokes you'd find in a Marvel movie (particularly from James Gunn or Taika Waititi) where the joke is a character being hyper-literal. There are a lot of laughs elsewhere in this, though, not least from Mark Ruffalo who absolutely steals it as a vile, pompous oaf whose peak of masculinity is just as funny as its downfall. While I've still not seen Alps or Kinetta, I really, really like Yorgos Lanthimos' films. They thrive in being surreal, either twisting our own world to being surreal like in The Favourite, The Lobster or Killing of a Sacred Deer, or finding a corner of absurdity in a very authentic world as in Dogtooth. That's true in how these latest ones are shot, too, with The Favourite and Poor Things both utilising so many damn fisheye lens shots which I actually quite like as they sort of make you feel like you're spying on something you have no business of seeing, but I think it might turn others off. All of them also create intriguing scenarios for the film to explore ideas in, which is still true in Poor Things with its sexual empowerment/enlightenment, social norms and creation, though the issues I mentioned, while minor, are probably the biggest reservations I've had about one of his films.

A strange situation for Josh Doig who seemed set to move to Marseille, but they've now been gazumped by Sassuolo. https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-transfer-news/josh-doig-marseille-transfer-sassuolo-31887310

I'm gonna be patient/stupid and wait 11 months to watch this as it seems like a proper family Christmas film.

Calvin Ramsay is getting recalled by Liverpool. https://www.lep.co.uk/sport/football/preston-north-end/pne-transfer-news/liverpool-transfer-news-preston-north-end-calvin-ramsay-4477295

Ross McCrorie also made his Bristol City debut after signing in the summer. Don't imagine he'll be in the Euros squad but nice for him to get back playing.

After a poor first half I was impressed with how we played with 10 men. We were always gonna be stretched, but I thought we defended our box well and Jamie Smith was pretty assured. O'Hara is exactly what you want when you're down to 10 due to his work rate and threat in behind, and Rankin's decision to move Barjonas wide was an effective one to give us more control. Great to see Owens come back and do so well too.

Team as expected with Owens in for Newbury and Williamson for Hewitt. It'll be interesting to see how Williamson slots in as he was presumably signed to play alongside Martin so we still don't have a direct replacement.

Wonder why he deleted it

Not sure if you saw my post when he signed, so I'll just copy it over again: His aggression helped him to be excellent in the air in the u18 league, but I hadn't seen any evidence of it in senior football so didn't think it was worth bringing up. If he ends up holding his own in the air for Dumbarton then that's a good sign. I think his background is as a midfielder and you can see that sometimes in how he approaches ground duels. He peaked in that game (his debut). It wasn't until he came on against Falkirk that I realised we'd signed a complete dud. Maybe he could be useful if you get him running in behind, but I'm being completely serious when I say his sub appearance away to Annan was one of the worst I've ever seen.

3. Priscilla - Cinema Not sure if this counts as a 2024 release here. A few places have it as being released in the UK on January 1st, but I'm pretty certain there were screenings before New Year. I'll go with Google though and put it as 2024. I really liked this. The plot kicks off immediately with Priscilla sitting in a diner before some guy asks her if she wants to go to a party at Elvis' gaff. I can sometimes find this a bit off-putting when they don't give you some necessary time getting to know the main character's normal life before it gets turned upside down, however it worked really well for me here as the first chunk of the film feels like a dream - a kind of fictionalised whirlwind romance between a star and a normie. It's clear that Priscilla thinks that being attached to Elvis gives her life value and she becomes lost when that's taken away from her, kind of like a drug. When she moves to Graceland with Elvis longer term, it becomes obvious that that whirlwind romance was just that. Life is suddenly much more boring (Coppola's speciality) and there are a bunch of visual things to indicate that she doesn't belong there. Firstly, she looks absolutely tiny compared to Elvis and his posse, who are perfectly empty characters, something that is drawn attention to when the maid comes into the room and is the only one in that scene to meet her at the same eye level. It also uses colour nicely to make Priscilla pop or blend into a frame, giving off the impression that she doesn't really belong there. There's one scene where Elvis destroys an old house in Graceland because it's bringing down the vibe, and Priscilla is, from what I remember, the only one wearing a white and black outfit which is the same colour scheme as the house's exterior, drawing a connection between her and this other thing that Elvis carelessly destroys once he's bored of it. I could be wrong about that but it sticks out in my mind. Finally, the cinematography gives a haziness to a lot of the interior scenes and strong backlighting through the windows, and Graceland itself is a gated place closed off to the world. These things made me think that Priscilla is both letting a world full of life pass her by to live this one with Elvis, and also that she's getting to experience a world that so many dream to experience - and it's really dull. I know those are kind of conflicting ideas, but they're the crux of Priscilla's development as she learns to forge her own path. I watched May December the night before I saw this and that's actually an interesting counterpoint depicting what could've happened to Priscilla if she stayed with Elvis. They're two really different films with completely different qualities, but they also link up well in terms of subject matter. I hadn't seen Jacob Elordi in anything until Saltburn, but I like the confident creepiness he has in both that and Priscilla. Again linking to May December, he gives off a slightly similar vibe to Charles Melton's character in that film; both of their lives have been greatly affected by their environments and that has bred these men who have the veneer of cocksureness but have a real immaturity bubbling underneath. Cailee Spaeny is, as far as I remember, in every single scene of the film, which is no mean feat given that she needs to both hold her own while blending into the superstardom of Elvis Presley. Both performances really worked for me, even if Elordi's accent reminded me a lot of Nic Cage in Raising Arizona.

Definitely not against Newbury going out on loan providing we get another CB in. I think Jamie Hamilton was around the age Newbury is now when he turned into John Stones for around six months, and that was with a good number of appearances under his belt, so I think it'll be good for Newbury to get some exposure to adult football in what should hopefully be a low-pressure environment. That said, if the league truly is gone for us then we could probably try and provide him the same, though I don't expect the club to think like that. Hopefully McGinn gets back fit and sent out on loan too as this season's been a waste for him after showing some promise last season.

Really interested to see how Newbury gets on. He was excellent at CB for the u18 title-winning side, but there are big concerns about him physically if he wants to stay in that position. I'm not sure he's the best technically, either, as his lack of strength also results in quite weak passing. V composed though. He can play in midfield and at right-back, which is where Rankin said he was expected to play this season and I wouldn't be surprised if you guys end up moving him to one of those positions. He's started two senior games at CB and was very good against Kelty but struggled a wee bit more against Edinburgh City, which is why I'm so interested to see if he can hack it as a centre-back in adult football, especially as I'm not sure how much growing he's got left to do.

2. Scala!!! - Cinema An enjoyable trip through 70s/80s miscreant cinema and all the wronguns it attracted, told in this documentary through a tonne of interviewees reflecting on their time spent at the Scala cinema. That results in quite a lot of tubby, bald folk talking about when they were cool and took hardcore drugs man, but it was far more enjoyable when the talking heads were accepting of the fact that they weren’t cool and that this place was a sort of pilgrimage where weirdos could come together and meet others with the same kind of interests scolded by normal society. Some of the stories of what happened in the screenings sounded like absolute hell, but it does really play into the idea of cinemas being communal spaces that can provide all sorts of experiences beyond what you’re watching on the screen. While I don’t like the notion of the films being incidental, the doc tells a bunch of stories of how Scala was more than just somewhere to watch a new release. There’s archive footage, maybe some recreations, drawings which paint the cinema like being straight out of an X-rated Beano magazine, and there’s a variety to the interview locations which add a wee bit of character to the piece. All of that made me consider the fact that those communal counter-cultural spaces have pretty much all been moved online, something that is both depressing and affirming. It’s amazing that you can connect with someone on the other side of the globe about a film that no one else in the world has seen, but that human interaction becoming dehumanised words on a screen is a disheartening turn of events. Films like Dumb Money from last year and Belle from 2022 have tackled these ideas by showing the world as it is now, but Scala!!! giving us a glimpse into the past definitely adds a different dimension to how the internet has shaped community – even if that’s just an unintentional by-product of the documentary. It’s a shame that I can’t find any list of all of the films showcased in this, but when I do I’m sure my watchlist is gonna double in size – even with the weirdo pervert films.

We brought back perhaps our two best players of the past decade in Tony Andreu and David Templeton. Aside from a couple of excellent games, including scoring the winner to send Dundee down, Andreu was shite for us in his second spell, but Templeton was still pretty great when he played - the issue was that he only managed 19 appearances across two-and-a-half seasons. We knew that that's what we were getting with him, however it just made it all the more disappointing when he gave us glimpses of what we'd been missing. Caveats for both of these guys, but Dougie Imrie and Mickael Antoine-Curier were just as good upon their returns as they were at the peak of their initial spell, though Imrie went on for at least a season too long and MAC chucked it, as far as I remember, in all three times at the club. Imrie deserves bonus points for contributing to Accies while playing for Morton, as his two goals in the 10-2 threw the SPFL off our scent. Andy Ryan is the only one who sticks out in my mind as being a markedly better player in his second spell for us. I don't like the idea of bringing players back as it's never the same second time around, but looking at the list of Accies returnees, we haven't really had many who had disappointing second spells with the exception of the first two I mentioned.

Let's get it started in here... 1. Night Swim - Cinema A film about a haunted swimming pool. It very much squeezes that premise for all its worth with a couple of creepy drowning-related moments, but ultimately the horror just amounts to someone slowly moving towards something before being met with a loud noise, or the camera moving back and forth before, inevitably, showing something that shouldn't be there. Tbf I did also wince a couple of times - and not just at the script! Like Thanksgiving from last year, I did appreciate its commitment to a colour palette (yet again light oranges and shades of blue) which provided a nice visual contrast for the swimming pool to make it really pop. Characters' skin tended to be tinted orange which contrasted with their blue costumes, their garden and house had that orange glow too, but some locations like the hospital and, iirc, the school were drenched in blue tones. That gave it a somewhat dreamlike tone, that the premise of a haunted swimming pool defined the story they wanted to tell, but despite spending the majority of the runtime wondering about the meaning behind those colour choices, I'm still not 100% sure. The idea of an old life vs a new is certainly prevalent, but I couldn't see a consistent pattern in the colour scheme that reflected that. It was a bit disjointed overall. The story often felt like a bit of a series of shorts which resulted in a lack of a satisfying payoff come the end. I appreciated that it tried to tell a story about its characters, particularly the dad, but going down the boring route of a possessed dad story made that a hell of a lot less interesting. There were occasions where I also thought that the shot choices/editing were a bit haphazard too, simply selecting some that looked the coolest rather than trying to create a visually cohesive scene. Not an amazing start to 2024, but I didn't expect much else from a film about a haunted swimming pool.

Those are extremely random choices but I'm pleasantly surprised at them. Four teams who don't usually get much coverage out with games against Celtic and Rangers, and unless Livi are completely adrift, they should all hopefully have something riding on them.

Our forward line's looking pretty stacked now, so I'd like to think some of the deadwood will start getting moved on. Mumbongo will almost certainly leave this month, Lanarkshire Live mentioned there being an offer for Zanatta on loan and McGlynn isn't all that fancied.

The "smooth transaction" is another shot at Rangers though. Clearly Accies (or Gerry Strain) felt that Rangers were being difficult during negotiations and that daft tweet is their/his means of having a go at them. More than anything, it's just shite patter - it wouldn't have been as bad if they actually had something funny to say as opposed to page 1 of the Celtic Da playbook.

I'm stuck between wanting to slag off Accies' social media and wanting to slag off Rangers

Top 5 months: 1. December - the most wonderful time of the year 2. July - the League Cup group stages, the second most wonderful time of the year 3/4. April/May - peak football season 5. October - my birthday, spooky season and an international break

I've not heard any rumours but it's Joshua Kimmich. Out of contract in the summer so didn't have to spend much money, and apparently Gerry knows him through the German Donner Kebabs place down Hamilton.

So that's a wrap for 2023. 330 total films watched starting with, strangely, a rewatch of Glass Onion and ending with How to Have Sex. 244 first-time watches, some of which I've highlighted below as the best of the bunch. 67 new releases was up on 62 from last years, and again I've picked out some faves in the order I saw them rather than just doing a top 10. Enys Men Tar The Fabelmans Skinamarink Godland Close Reality Asteroid City Past Lives Sick The Killer Bottoms The Eternal Daughter Totem Earth Mama Fallen Leaves How to Have Sex I also made it to the cinema 53 times, starting with a Rashomon re-release before finishing off the year with a Home Alone rerun, but the highlights were undoubtedly the twice I finally managed to be the only person in the screening - once for Missing and once for Past Lives (this made a great film even greater).

67. How to Have Sex - MUBI I thought I was done with 2023 releases, but this recently dropped on MUBI having regrettably passed me by while it was in the cinema. And boy oh boy is it good! Three teenage girls go on holiday to Ooh Ah Malia for sun, sex and a large side order of self-discovery. The early stages of the film absolutely perfectly set up the trio as people more than just characters, as their mannerisms and interactions with one another establish their personalities and relationships which ultimately also foreshadows some of what's to come. That's all done visually with incredibly natural dialogue - for a bunch of English partyers, anyway. Thank god it did such a good job with its visual storytelling because I did not have a scooby what some of them were saying at many points, purely due to the accents and colloquialisms. It's testament to the film that I immediately cared so much about them considering I'd give them the largest swerve imaginable were I to meet them irl, however the filmmaker, Molly Manning Walker, and actors managed to convey their unspoken backstories to give a sense as to why those loudmouths on you see on these types of holidays (like 17-year-old me) are acting like... that. There's also the sun-soaked aesthetic of being on holiday: bright pool parties, stuffy hotel rooms, fluorescent outfits and a hue that's not quite American Film Set in Mexico but does convey the setting well. The time spent setting up the three girls hides the fact that, after 30 mins or so, it does end up focussing on one in particular, Tara. One of her friends wants to Get Ass but also ends up getting grades too, the other Gets Grades but also ends up getting ass. So that leaves Tara stuck in the middle, pretty much getting neither, which makes it easy to sympathise with her as a lead, but, more importantly, it manages to depict the irony of loneliness while being surrounded by so many people, loneliness that either is borne out of her burgeoning self-discovery or vice versa (she is beginning to discover why she feels lonely). Loads of standard imagery like mirrors/reflections and the beach/sea which speaks to her looking into herself at an age where you're on the cusp of change. I'm sure comparisons will have been made between this and Morvern Callar, Aftersun and probably Spring Breakers too as they were all at the forefront of my mind while watching. It shares the lingering feeling of dread and a focus on loneliness and discovery on holiday. I don't think its story is quite as ubiquitous as Aftersun's therefore it won't have the effect that that film had on so many people, however I'd still absolutely recommend it to people who loved how Aftersun's story was actually told. In a year where no film has stood out as a clear number one for me, How to Have Sex is certainly close to it.

Trust me bro, it's not as good as it sounds.

I was happy with Winter coming back and Hendrie needed to come on, but it was really strange waiting so long to make that final change. Those two might not get that chance again any time soon.