Deen1903

Glass Masterclass or Glass Fallflatonass, who knows what we’ll get?

If the Dons lose to St Mirren tomorrow then the following scenario will unfold: The next home game is moved to a later kick-off to supposedly attract a larger US fanbase. As kick-off approaches the floodlights suddenly switch off. Suddenly, the WWF/WWE Undertaker intro music plays. DONG! A spotlight switches on and focuses on a figure coming onto the pitch - it’s Derek McInnes dressed as the Undertaker. The crowd can’t believe it, jaws drop and the pant pishers literally pish their punts. DONG! A second spotlight comes on and it’s Tony Docherty dressed as Paul Bearer also coming onto the pitch. DONG! A third spotlight, this time on the centre circle and it’s Stephen Glass looking shocked and confused. He considers running away but it’s too late - the Undertaker has reached him and got him in a choke hold. The crowd gasps. DONG! The fourth spotlight is on the Directors’ Box and Dave Cormack is there, cackling away, he’s loving it! The crowd gasps again as the truth dawns on them. DONG! All the floodlights come on as the Undertaker tombstones Stephen Glass. Scott Brown tries to run away but Paul Bearer trips him up and the Undertaker tombstones him too. Then Paul Bearer follows up by smacking Brown on the head with a steel chair conveniently placed on the pitch. The crowd goes wild, the comfort of a no worse than a fourth place finish is back and they know that the Glass experiment was simply Cormack getting the fans to fall in love with McInnes and Docherty again with a touch of American sports entertainment razzmatazz. It’s showtime baby! Now to grind out a 1-0 . . .

Teddy Jenks seems the least likely of the new Dons players to have his own song but I like a challenge: Woah, woah, Teddy Jenks is here He’s as fast as Niall McGinn Or traffic at the Haudagain Woah, woah, Teddy Jenks is here He came to conquer Paramount And visit Mounthooly roundabout

Looking forward to a 5,000 word essay from Budge on the exciting plans for next season

Bring real Irn-Bru home

Has bam died out in Aberdeen? And bamwagon for a souped up Fiat Cinquecento pumping out dance music while Bouley bashing

Will you trap my mate?

The Gordon Bennett Ladies Lounge

Stadium names: Anderson Arena or The Cadger Camp

Dr Frankeninnes and his jotters saving monster

Losing to a team from Transylvania?

Reject all offers below £7m and send him on loan to Peterheid for the season (to work on the trawlers). Sends a message to Ferguson and Cosgrove.

Also, easier for Aberdeen to attract corporate sponsorship as zero local competition from other professional teams and being a one club city means that there’s no risk of a corporate annoying clients who might support a rival local team. Instead, it’s seen as helping civic pride - see Abtrust, latterly Aberdeen Asset Management, effectively helping bail out the Dons in the 1990s as a sort of civic responsibility.

Agreed - AFC seem to have more corporate hospitality and funcy seats etc than anyone outside the cheeks and it makes a big difference to the club’s budget. Aberdeen only has one professional sports team whereas Edinburgh has four (if you include Edinburgh Rugby and the Scottish Rugby team being based at Murrayfield) so a lot of the corporate hospitality in Edinburgh is hoovered up by the SRU but Aberdeen (and Glasgow) don’t have this and the Edinburgh middle classes and business types tend to be more into rugby and golf in any case. The Aberdeen equivalent prefer football and golf - the Aberdeen big-wigs are members of Royal Aberdeen Golf Club and the 50 club at Pittodrie and the Edinburgh big-wigs will be Muirfield and a Murrayfield debenture.

Nasal whine 1 - Doric drone 1