carpetmonster

That’s definitely turned my floppy into a solid state.

Yeah, Marge’s boyfriend among them. Maybe I should try to find him on Tuesday and tell him that all my family got raptured but I didn’t, so he mustn’t have either.

It’s telling that there’s never been a Climate Change And The Hendersons

He’ll be glad to get a bye off that awful daughter Veruca.

I read that as ‘generic’ which still works.

Berrwivesurgettin Beaton

I don’t see there’s a conflict in the two. Miami’s arguably the plastic surgery capital of the world and also meant to be largely underwater in a century. So if there’s plenty of skilled surgeons that can put massive norks into you that you can float around on it’ll ease the evolution into folks becoming mer-people.

We get limited time on this earth. When 99% of the punters who know what they’re talking about go ‘aye this is thing’ and then a couple of random wee guys go ‘eh, naw it isnae’, it’s expedient to balance it out and reason that the punters who know what they’re talking about know what they’re talking about. I mean, what’s the worst scenario here? The planet isn’t fucked? Yay, then.

Not even that! It only got properly cold for about a week around New Year this winter. It’s to be 21C on Monday according to the forecast.

At least nobody could accuse this one of being performatively stupid.

Maybe he didn’t even send a dirty picture. Wouldn’t take too much in the way of photoshop skills to knock one up ETA - well, a bit more than I’ve got, obvs.

I’ve always been a bit shy of seeing folks past their ‘prime’ - when I was about 18 loads of my mates went to see James Brown at Crathes Castle but I dingied it because I didn’t want to see an old James Brown; his best live shit was before my time and I’m ok with that. Bob Mould played a neighborhood street fest in Chicago a couple of years back so I figured I should go and he did a few Husker Du tracks and I didnt know seeing him do them was on my bucket list until he did. He’s still tight as utter f**k, 20 songs in the space of an hour.

1. Bad Brains - S/T 2. Team Dresch - Personal Best 3. Never Mind The Bollocks 4. Husker Du - New Day Rising 5. Sleater-Kinney - Call The Doctor

There's an NFL analyst/ex-player called Jonathan Vilma and I'd love him to have a daughter called Wilma because it'd be the Chic Murray joke about the pole vaulter brought into reality.

My kid used to play that all the time on the Alexa, it’s not so bad. It was when she had ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ on about 6 times on the bounce I threatened to hit her with it.

Quite possibly. It’s another theory of how Ted Cruz came to be, alongside the more generally accepted one that he’s 10,000 cockroaches in a skin suit, like your man off Men In Black.

Buc-ee’s is really big in places where there’s f**k all else to do. Think of it as like a department store for things that suburban Texans would like; you get a whole wall of beef jerky, that type of thing.

You can keep paying your NI stamp from overseas, should you have any confidence the UK state pension will still be a thing when you hit that age. Also in the US, once you start to draw it, you’ll get any increases - again, chance would be a fine thing, but there’s a decent bet some Tory c**t will try to buy votes off blue rinsers with something like that - it’s not locked at the amount it is when you start to draw it like it would be if you were in Canada, say. Medical insurance is a big one tho. We have pretty decent cover, but it’s about $15k pa with us paying $7k and my wife’s company paying $8k. And lack of public transport is something you’re gonna have to deal with unless you move to one of about a handful of cities.

A little diversion but a cool story - German immigrants to Chicago (aided and abetted by some Irish) rose up against anti-immigrant Mayor Levi Boone after he decreed pubs were to be closed on Sunday. Boone was emptied within a year of taking office for the immigrants preferred candidate James Curtiss. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lager_Beer_Riot

‘Tonight Matthew, I’m going to be Jock from The Young Offenders after having let the wee ones do some potato printing on his ear’

Jealous mate! I’d love to catch them but I can’t really see the yanks getting it. Or Norman being allowed on planes.

You might get it from the link in this tweet - it says 'watch' - I'm not getting a video in the article but I might be region-blocked

'I'm going for a number three, that's a piss and a shit and a w**k in a tree' (Nobody Likes Me, The Northern Boys)

Did he take his troosers off?