carpetmonster
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Posts posted by carpetmonster
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Rwanda bill passes, 300 folks to be sent in July at a cost of 1.8 million quid a head. Unless a pesky lawyer manages to keep somebody off a plane, in which case most likely nobody will be getting on planes because every other lawyer will use what the first one did as precedent. Good luck, scumbag Tory b*****ds. By which I mean get in the fucking sea you utter c**t scumbag Tory b*****ds.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/apr/22/rwanda-deportations-bill-passes-parliament-sunak
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I have a Carhartt parka that must be about 15 years old that still sees some action in freezing winter days, although not when it’s snowing; it weighs about four tonnes dry, never mind wet.
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4 hours ago, PogoStick said:
House for sale; not sure who the owner supports…
https://www.onthemarket.com/details/14721898/#/photos/11
Maybe he just (rationally) really dislikes estate agents and wants the fuckers to have to suffer to get their commission.
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33 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:
A bridgie?
I get the pre-packaged ones out the fridgie.
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1 hour ago, BFTD said:
"Loose your deposit" is the kind of line I'd expect to hear in an adult Sense & Sensibility adaption.
I'm loosing a deposit just now. Probably about a four and a half on the old Bristol chart.
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Worst: going in to see The Sixth Sense at the midnight showing, pished, and falling asleep after 20 minutes. Woke up at the end credits to be told by my mate 'c**t wiz deed'. Still never got round to seeing it, didn't seem to be much point after that spoiler.
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2 minutes ago, Don Diego De la Vega said:
Is a clarkies fudge doughnut better than a pieBob's fudge covered fudge doughnut?
I don't think I've seen fudge so many times in a sentence outside of some opposition MP seething about the Government unemployment figures.
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11 minutes ago, DiamondDan said:
It's crazy that certain types kicked up a stink despite these parades being low key and having taken place in the city for decades. The Inverness ABOD did well to not rise to their nonsense.
A Bunch of Dobbers?
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6 minutes ago, JS_FFC said:
Who the f**k is Jane East?
Takes pictures of lizards and sticks them on Instagram. David Icke-adjacent maybe?
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10 minutes ago, Salt n Vinegar said:
Apologies if it's been mentioned before, but there was the story of the Man U player (can't remember which one) who used to milk his fellow players (MATRON!) on the way back from away games.
They would stop at a chippie, he'd collect cash from the rest of the players for their grub, go in to get the food, then pay by cheque, in the expectation that the shop owners would never cash it as it had the player's autograph on it.
Tight or clever? Both?
The guy I've heard that one about is Jackie Charlton, who's apparently got framed cheques on the walls of half the boozers in Ireland.
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1 hour ago, CityDave94 said:
I don't know, I think most people would say that John Squire was the brains behind the Stone Roses and by miles a better songwriter while Ian Brown's strength was purely being the frontman with an easily recognisable singing style and an attitude. Ian Brown's solo career has proved this, initially he had some success built on his previous reputation but it quickly got old.
I think I’d have probably agreed with that after the first LP but the Seahorses being awful kinda shoots it down. There’s an argument (that I have some sympathy with) to say Brown saved The Second Coming from being properly bad by not being able to sing; if he had a big rawk voice, it’d just have sounded like a bad Led Zep tribute.
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1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:
Live at Hampden this weekend.
Well, undead maybe.
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Really wanted to go see them with Ride on the co-headline tour they did in the US last year, however my wife was inconsiderate enough to give birth 10 days prior and I was absolutely knackered. Seems to be becoming a thing for British bands that aren’t as big over here; Suede and the Manics did one and the tickets were only $45. Charlatans/Ride was only $40.
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1 minute ago, Venti said:
Saw them at TITP not long after Tellin' Stories came out.
Amazing band.
Barras in 95 for me IIRC. The long-forgotten Northen Uproar as support.
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Be mad to think 30 years ago that Tim Burgess would be the top boy while Ian Brown would be reduced to doing his own karaoke by way of gigs.
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22 minutes ago, velo army said:
I splay my left hand (palm turned upwards) and then place the first glass between thumb and forefinger, gripping it with those. The next glass rests on my ring finger while being stabilised with the middle finger. The third rests in the space between while being stabilised by my pinky.
The right hand has palm downwards and I grip one glass with thumb and forefinger and the other with middle finger pressing the glass against the ring finger.
If it's pints I pick up the 6th glass between the two hands. The 6th glass is only held by pressure from either side, so that goes down first. The next glasses down are the ones in my right hand which are set down simultaneously. The ones on the left are set down in reverse order to their placement.
Quite the party piece.
Right, what’s everybody having then? Tell you what, just write it down here for me
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If there's anyone still hiding under Shannon Matthews stasher Michael Donovan's bed, you can come out now, he's carked it
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/27366830/shannon-matthews-kidnapper-michael-donovan-dies-cancer/
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9 minutes ago, jimbaxters said:
His face is too big. If you take the hair off him he actually reminds me of Tommy Cooper, which should make me like him, but it doesn’t.
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26 minutes ago, BFTD said:
I was going to suggest he'd offer up his youngest daughter, but then remembered that Ivanka is his only daughter.
IVANKA. IS. HIS. ONLY. DAUGHTER.
There’s Tiffany as well, unless him musing in public that he’d wanted her aborted counts as formal disownment.
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50 minutes ago, Salvo Montalbano said:
His supporters will be waiting for the resurrection 3 days later.
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1 hour ago, doulikefish said:
Totally batshit mental now or seeing where the grifting cash has deeper pockets judging by here round of interviews
Wants to abolish the Un the supreme Court the human rights charter and everything else
If I was a betting man I’d say CPAC-monied oot her nut with bonuses for how far and wide she can spread their shite.
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9 hours ago, Granny Danger said:
Trump complaining about maybe not being able to attend his son’s high school graduation.
I’m astounded at this. Surely it’s standard practice in criminal trials for the judge to halt proceedings so the defendant can attend their child’s high school graduation.
If I'm Trump and I'm looking and Eric and Junior and now I'm being told I have an offspring capable of passing high school I'm getting me and Melanie on Jeremy Kyle TBQHWY.
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10 minutes ago, Bold Rover said:
This +++
And extend it to hill walks, the woods, and everywhere else.
Harness the power of shite dugs by building a warehouse full of giant hamster wheels so shite dug owners can take them there, have them run on the wheels to generate electricity and sell it to the National Grid. The owner can nominate 5 people who generally have to put up with their b*****d dug to receive credits against their leccy bill for its service. Extend it to weans anaw.
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Twitter
in The General Nonsense Forum
Posted
Thought about putting this in Normal Island, but the kid's living his best life and fair fucks to him