carpetmonster

Rwanda bill passes, 300 folks to be sent in July at a cost of 1.8 million quid a head. Unless a pesky lawyer manages to keep somebody off a plane, in which case most likely nobody will be getting on planes because every other lawyer will use what the first one did as precedent. Good luck, scumbag Tory b*****ds. By which I mean get in the fucking sea you utter c**t scumbag Tory b*****ds. https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/apr/22/rwanda-deportations-bill-passes-parliament-sunak

I have a Carhartt parka that must be about 15 years old that still sees some action in freezing winter days, although not when it’s snowing; it weighs about four tonnes dry, never mind wet.

Maybe he just (rationally) really dislikes estate agents and wants the fuckers to have to suffer to get their commission.

I get the pre-packaged ones out the fridgie.

I'm loosing a deposit just now. Probably about a four and a half on the old Bristol chart.

Worst: going in to see The Sixth Sense at the midnight showing, pished, and falling asleep after 20 minutes. Woke up at the end credits to be told by my mate 'c**t wiz deed'. Still never got round to seeing it, didn't seem to be much point after that spoiler.

I don't think I've seen fudge so many times in a sentence outside of some opposition MP seething about the Government unemployment figures.

A Bunch of Dobbers?

Takes pictures of lizards and sticks them on Instagram. David Icke-adjacent maybe? https://www.instagram.com/jane_east/

The guy I've heard that one about is Jackie Charlton, who's apparently got framed cheques on the walls of half the boozers in Ireland.

I think I’d have probably agreed with that after the first LP but the Seahorses being awful kinda shoots it down. There’s an argument (that I have some sympathy with) to say Brown saved The Second Coming from being properly bad by not being able to sing; if he had a big rawk voice, it’d just have sounded like a bad Led Zep tribute.

Well, undead maybe.

Really wanted to go see them with Ride on the co-headline tour they did in the US last year, however my wife was inconsiderate enough to give birth 10 days prior and I was absolutely knackered. Seems to be becoming a thing for British bands that aren’t as big over here; Suede and the Manics did one and the tickets were only $45. Charlatans/Ride was only $40.

Barras in 95 for me IIRC. The long-forgotten Northen Uproar as support.

Be mad to think 30 years ago that Tim Burgess would be the top boy while Ian Brown would be reduced to doing his own karaoke by way of gigs.

Right, what’s everybody having then? Tell you what, just write it down here for me

If there's anyone still hiding under Shannon Matthews stasher Michael Donovan's bed, you can come out now, he's carked it https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/27366830/shannon-matthews-kidnapper-michael-donovan-dies-cancer/

His face is too big. If you take the hair off him he actually reminds me of Tommy Cooper, which should make me like him, but it doesn’t.

There’s Tiffany as well, unless him musing in public that he’d wanted her aborted counts as formal disownment.

If I was a betting man I’d say CPAC-monied oot her nut with bonuses for how far and wide she can spread their shite.

If I'm Trump and I'm looking and Eric and Junior and now I'm being told I have an offspring capable of passing high school I'm getting me and Melanie on Jeremy Kyle TBQHWY.

Harness the power of shite dugs by building a warehouse full of giant hamster wheels so shite dug owners can take them there, have them run on the wheels to generate electricity and sell it to the National Grid. The owner can nominate 5 people who generally have to put up with their b*****d dug to receive credits against their leccy bill for its service. Extend it to weans anaw.