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I have noticed that the folk arguing that lunch is dinner, dinner is tea, lunch no longer exists, and tea is also tea, are chipper-bothering Dundonians. Huge relief. I was worried that this was a real thing for a minute.

Not at all! I never joke about lesbian prison sex acts.

"Would you like some tea?" "Yes please, I am parched. " "Here is some Spaghetti Bolognese and garlic bread"

Schumacher was the runner-up in 1997 (though disqualified), 1998, and would have won in 1999 if his leg wasn't broken. It was very much the case that the wins and championships were on their way. Even in 96 Schumacher utterly out-performed the car.

That should be in the Profanisaurus. Oiling up the baseball bat, taking Captain Picard to warp speed, hoisting your own beams.

"Hey sexy lady, I'd like to invite you to dinner." "Sounds good. When shall we meet?" "Half past noon" See what I mean?

By acceptable, I think you mean utter deviants. Normal is right, though.

Driving round the Falkirk area is just about impossible now. Gas, electrics and water have dug up loads of the roads in the towns and villages. If you manage to find a section of road without roadworks on them, you have to swerve around to avoid the craters that make up 40% of the road surface. Take an example - the roundabout at the Klondyke Garden Centre, which joins the M9 and heads to Grangemouth. It underwent a huge upgrade about 2 years ago, and the surface is horrendous. Potholes have joined forces and formed a posse. I assume it's the same story elsewhere in the country but it's just really annoying the hell out of me right now that I cannot go anywhere without stopping at temporary lights or having my skeleton rattled as my car goes over what feels like railway sidings.

I remember playing Under 11's football. We were in a mini bus going from Alloa to Falkirk, over the Kincardine Bridge and one boy genuinely thought we had gone into England. He'd never been out of Alloa before.

He's been outed now as @Melanius Mullarkey He's been on P&B for years...

9 Wednesday

Tried watching the eclipse through a colander but it strained my eyes.

Ferrari won the driver's title in 1979 then 2000 (21 years) They wonnthe constructors title in 1983 and 1999 (16 years) Currently 17 and 16 years since they won these titles, but unlike the Schumacher era there is no sign that they are about to become dominant.

Tusk Tusk Tusk! Tusk!

An aside. Every week we visit my mum. Every week she slips the kids a pound or two. On Saturday we went to Tesco in Alloa after visiting. My daughter put her couple of quid in the Marie Curie tin. When I asked why she just said "Grandpa" It got me. By the time I got home I was blubbing. She is 13, was 12 when cancer took him. They were very close.

A Country Supper is a brutal oral sex act that happens only in women's prisons..

I've found the quality of butcher meat has dropped everywhere. Used to be a clear difference in quality with supermarkets, but no longer. Campbells sausages in particular are dreadful now.

Tories lost 178 seats in 1997. Tories lost 189 seats in 1945 Labour lost 235 seats in 1931 (from 287 to 52...ouch, just 2 years after the last election) Tories lost 246 seats in 1906 Funny thing is, these parties were all back in power fairly quickly after such big gubbings. 13-14 years out of power maximum.

I asked ChatGPT to write an episode of discovery Mystery solved as to the writing standard!

8 for Tuesday

Larry vs Michael J Fox was my favourite.

Glad Lewis was in the finale. "You are Richard's friend?" " Yes" "And you don't believe anyone could love him? " No, of course not. "