Fae_the_'briggs

That advert on TV (Duet chocolate bar I think) where the female singer is singing Moon River and then some bloke joins in with a rap version. I would deliberately not buy one of the chocolate bars just because of this advert, delicious as they may be.

I got battered fish, honestly I did.

I fancy fish and chips for lunch but should I have battered or breaded fish, that is the question.

Many a true word, etc, P45, I was worried I would not log on in time before the benefits of the Viagra wore off. I do tend to "go incognito" or clear browsing history to try and avoid clogging up t'internet.

I turned on my laptop last night and Windows started to automatically update, I didn't press any buttons or request this. I took about 30 mins as the % indicator lurched up to 100% and the "update complete" message appeared. Thank-f**k for that I thought but then File and Settings Configuration started and that took even longer, another 45 minutes at least before it got to 100% and I could actually use my PC. I know my broadband speed is slow but that's ridiculous.

When I buy some of those wee ready to eat fruit pots from the Supermarket and there's not a plastic fork in it. And the "Berry Medley" pots which usually contain of 1 wee strawberry, 1 blackcurrant, 3 or 4 blueberries and the rest is grapes. Technically a correct description of contents I suppose but they could at least give an equal amount of each berry.

It always slightly puzzles me when people refer to their dog as a "rescue dog" which I took to mean it was a retired search and rescue dog or something like that and not one they got from a canine shelter or dogs home. Surely they should call it a "rescued dog". Maybe they do and I just don't hear them correctly.

What about my balls, will that be ok?

Yep Brownlie was pretty dire today but his erratic performances must be frustrating for the Manager also because he was one of our best players IMHO against rangers last week and on that basis probably deserved to start. Having said that he has probably had more poor games than good ones over the season and I would not argue with anyone who thought that Hooper deserved a run of games.

I just knew Swarley's birthday would be on the 1st of April.

Nice to know, but where are you getting off the train?

As you say it's only a rumour that he may be going to Dunfermline but I must admit that thought crossed my mind after the recent Morton game when he was speaking to Eric Paton who was sitting with the Queen's fans. Alan Johnston, Pars' Manager, was also there for part of the game I understand. Maybe a bit of a weak link to assume there is any actual truth in the rumour but he doesn't really seem to feature very strongly in Fowler's plans. Would he be a big miss for us? I think he could be an influential player and has undoubted ability, but I think he may be the type of player who needs to be involved regularly and made to feel like one of the main players instead of a squad player. Injuries and suspensions, and the Manager's own preference of central midfield players have dictated that he is now just a squad player. As supporters we only see the players performance and attitude during games, the coaching staff obviously see more of the player's character at training. As Palmy_Cammy says there may be a problem with his attitude and if so he should perhaps move on.

Do you think Debbie will be missing the "magic wand" yet?

That could be a problem, maybe a battery powered one will do the same. He used to have two roosters, one "straight" and one that only fancied other roosters. The straight rooster was afraid to fall asleep. The roosters used to have different calls. One went "cock-a-doodle-do" and the other went "any-cock'll-do"

My grandad used to have a farm and he never had an alarm clock, he used to get up when the rooster crowed. "Early to bed and up with the cock" was his motto, wise advise that many should copy.

I must admit it's quite surprising the number of times I accidentally tune into QVC when the more mature, fuller figured lady models are displaying a range of lingerie.

I went into Superdrug today for a few items and the auld biddy in front of me asked for 6 1st class stamps (The only thing she bought). The assistant opened the till, the only one that was manned, struggled to take out the cash-drawer, under which the stamps are obviously kept, couldn't find any and rang the bell to get someone to come and get them from another till. Five fuckin minutes just to serve some-one 6 stamps. Who the f**k would think about going into a chemists just to buy stamps anyway? No jokes about needing them for french letters either.

BBC News studios where you can see the newsroom and workers in the background during bulletins. I don't want to see the lazy b*****ds sitting at their desks drinking coffee or wandering aimlessly about taking the piss out of the licence fee payer. Plus it's bloody distracting when you're trying to concentrate on what the female newsreader is wearing saying.

In TV soaps and plays when there is a controversial or distressing storyline a voice-over at the end tells us to contact crisis counsellors if we have been affected by the storyline yet very rarely do the people in the programme contact these counsellors. If they are so good why aren't they brought in to deal with the crisis. Why do people on TV soaps never watch soaps on the telly? How do people in soaps all manage to get jobs within a 100 yards of where they live? How can working families (or even non-working families) in soaps afford to go out to the local cafe so often to have breakfast/lunch/tea?

If Mr. Fowler is pushed or jumps at the end of the season, or before that, I hope the BoD think carefully about his replacement. We are in danger of becoming a Club with a reputation of a high turnover in managers over the past few years, albeit some left to pursue "better" career opportunities. Maybe the days of Managers staying with a club for more than a season or two is a thing of the past, the same as players getting long contracts, but it would be nice to think that we could get a Manager in who would be allowed the time and resources to implement and see through a four or five year plan to take the Club to a higher level. At the moment we look like a Club thinking from year to year.

No-one could accuse Hefferman of being a pacey striker but he does have a physical presence to hold off defenders, has quite good close control and can hold the ball up to make passes to attacking midfielders or a more mobile strike partner. As the saying goes, the legs may be gone but the football brain is still there. He didn't feature much for Queens but I felt he did ok when he did play. I'm not sure if he is a ninety minute player though.

People who say that something enrages/pleases/ entertains them " on many levels", what does that even mean? It either slightly enrages you, mildly enrages you or gets right on your tits, but why "on many levels" . Just another modern phrase that people think is smart to use.

If you have the older type wired up fuse put a thicker piece of wire in or span the contacts with a bit of tin foil. If you have the modern trip switch type fuse get a thin strip of wood or similar that is long enough to jam under the switch down to the floor or other surface and that will hold the switch up. You may notice a slight burning smell if you use these methods but that is perfectly normal.

Do tell.

I'm asking this question on behalf of a friend but does anyone else think that old Judith from Eggheads would be a right posh filthy ride ?