Sergeant Wilson

Remember, most learning is on line now, just click through the screens and tick the box at the end. It's not as much fun as you make it sound.

State retirement pension isn't social security. The UK government have been making changes to reduce the burden, but it would take generation, at least to do away with it and none of them think that long term.

Oh don't worry about it. I've been waiting for the tap on the shoulder for 40 odd years, one or two more and I'll have got away with it.

^^^Uses both sides of toilet paper.

You're bum! The heads are different shapes. It's not so you can share a handle.

I'm not sure about this Higgs guy. I'm completely neutron on the matter.

Just as I denigrate them!

I am, of course, watching Arsenal.

You can go blind, but being born blind is a protective factor against developing schizophrenia. (I looked it up)

I thought you said it was a migraine.

Your car tomorrow.

Dear God, I'll fix that!

The animals just don't seem to try as hard these days.

There's free food in the shared fridges at work, but I tend to stick to the cans of coke etc. If you do need to economise, take stuff out the foodbank donations in supermarkets. You'll save time, money and the planet by cutting down on unnecessary journeys.

I'm well aware having been there and not done it before.

I'd gamble on civil service incompetence meaning there songs be collection. They'll probably be too busy doing Health and Safety or Diversity training. We do courses all year but set aside 10 days of compulsory work, I take those as holidays.

Pishwater! Bonnie Tyler is best viewed in total darkness. She looks like somebody drew a face on the palm of a boxing glove.

I'd just go with that. Have a lovely close season and see you all in the Premier.

I met some of them...bunch of fucking roasters.

I'm on season 4, a bit late, but not disappointed so far.

Are you claiming to have a soul now? Man, this AI is getting better all the time. Unfortunately, no heaven or hell for you. You'll just get unplugged and put in the skip.

It wouldn't work for me because I can't think of a circumstance that I'd ever listen to The Foo Fighters unless I'd been kidnapped and tortured.

I don't really count anything that hasn't got a ball, goals and is played on grass or astro. I quite like cricket though, all the rest are rubbish and unworthy of my patronage.

If snooker is a sport, so is tiddly winks.

I don't believe anyone actually likes Crass, they just think they should. I'm away to dredge through old archives to find bands who no-one has heard of to establish my muso credentials.