David Merdy's Boots

Posting from a plastic pitch, just here to laugh at Dundee's capitulation. Good for the cinch if both them and Hibs go into the last game with a bit of jeopardy, battling to f**k up the least.

I'd like to think that my depressed post on here at half-time, coupled with my 45 minutes of screaming abuse at my computer screen at various players for being useless fucking c***s, inspired that turnaround in the second half. A possible alternative explanation is that I'm an excitable fanny that should give our players and manager a little more leeway, considering how well the season had gone thus far until last week. I was there when we went 6-0 up against Meadowbank after about 35 minutes sometime in the 90s, but Meadowbank were known to be utter pish then and we had players like Tommy Burns. Can't think of another game where we've scored so many goals in such a short space of time. That arse collapsing by St. Mirren was spectacularly inexplicable.

To say Killie have been rubbish is far too kind. Absolute fucking pish, all the way from the shitebag of a keeper glued to his line, all the way up to the crumbling, less mobile Easter Island statue of Vassell. St. Mirren have completely outfought and outthought Killie, McInnes' insistence on shoehorning Joe fucking Wright into the centre of defence and having the captain being undroppable really being shown up today. St. Mirren surely haven't had an easier first half than that all season. Thank f**k we are safe from relegation already (I hope), that's the only scant consolation we can take after the last two weeks of steaming shite.

It's a bold strategy etc and so on. Let's just say that, while I live in hope, I shan't be putting money on three points for Killie.

I'm only here to read @elvis wax lyrical about a brilliant performance and result for his beloved Saints.

Now THAT is dreadful refereeing. Never a red

Killie have removed Dundee fans' dreadfully shite patter from the P&B Scottish Cup threads for the rest of this season. You're welcome.

Never in my lifetime have I seen us two up so early on. Reality is that Dundee should at least be level with some of the chances they've spurned. O'Hara seems extremely nervous and glued to his line. Fear this is all set up for yet another last minute equaliser from the peh munchers unless we get our foot on the ball and get the next goal.

Still feel like we stole a point there. Absolute pish for about 57 minutes, then a fair bit of huffing and puffing until Carson came up with yet another howler. Still, losing a goal after McKenzie scored, I mean, FFS.

Dundee should be out of sight. I can't think of a more insipid performance of the season. We were crap against Hearts, but at least they were shite too. Big second half, because those are two mad substitutions he's made so far IMO.

Brilliant result, if not a great game. We really need a striker to take the weight off of Watkins though. Surely we're safe from relegation now, which is pretty impressive considering the clown show of last season.

Thank f**k Deek has hauled Liam fucking Donnelly off for Kennedy. He has been absolutely atrocious, the whole gamut of his peculiar brand of shiteyness; multiple lackadaisical passes, one of which gifted the opposition a huge chance which luckily for us led to Boyle deciding to dive instead of shoot? Falling over expecting a foul before slowly getting off the turf and nonchalantly jogging back? Getting booked for failing to take an opponent out, which still resulted in a goal anyway? Donnelly ticked all the boxes in that half. Murder.

Only Innes Cameron could get a booking because the big galoot seemingly has zero awareness of anything happening around him. He seems like a great lad, but he should be nowhere near even a benchwarmer for a cinch Premiership team, no matter how big a fan he is. A fairly poor quality game with tonnes of crosses booted into the box by both teams, hope it improves second half. That said, a St. Mirren late winner from a set-piece is my lock of the week.

I vividly remember him doing the commentary for Romania Sweden in USA 1994 (I think it was on Eurosport) and pissing myself laughing at the sheer number of different pronunciations he had in the same game for the same player, namely Florin Raducioiu. Ra-DOOCH-ee-oh! Radu-CHOI-oo! Raduchi-OH! His mispronunciations weren't sinister IMO, just general haplessness.

Hemming has some record saving pens, dug us out of a hole on a few occasions back in the dark days of the league with which Dundee are very familiar.

Add another one to his collection. Fundee doing Fundee things

I've always said that John Beaton was a high-quality official... Very soft penalty IMO, not that I'm complaining.

As an exile, my only option is Killie TV; the audio-visual quality is generally fine, it isn't a baldy lino-cam thing and I'd say it's worth it for a one-off big game like this. I had always quite liked John Barnes on the BBC. His constant whinging about refs, VAR etc on Killie TV rather than just commentating makes me feel like I'm right there in my old seat in the East Stand listening to some of the grumpy coffin dodgers, rather than 6,000 miles away.

I know it's more likely that Hibs will Hibs this, but I'd find it funny as f**k if that McKirdy donkey scored a fluky last minute winner. Always amusing to see Hearts fans getting upset.

Waken up Power you doss c**t. McKenzie hiding and doing absolutely f**k all as usual. Taylor, Doidge, Robinson, my god we are as shite as VAR.

Genuinely could have been double figures so far. If County play like this against us post-split, even we might sneak a point

Couldn't agree more. I assume McInnes' thinking is that humping the ball forward to a completely isolated Vassell at least 500 times will, due to the law of averages, result in some sort of chance at some point in the game. Somehow the other results are going for us at the moment, but surely County and the Arabs haven't played even a fraction as shitey as our clueless shambles.

They should just go straight to penalties and let everyone at the game go home and do something more worthwhile, like staring at the ceiling. Dundee United have done absolutely f**k all in the last half hour. We have been marginally better, but don't think we could score in the proverbial. Two woeful teams, with the ref matching each team's players' rubbishness.

I envy you. I have it on KillieTV. Killie, United, and the ref all seem to be as bad as each other, which is no mean feat considering our midfield.

Never thought I would ever again get so close to despising a Killie team as much as the spineless mob led by Dicker and Broadfoot that got us relegated, yet here we are. I could say Chambers and Walker get a pass, but it's not the best choice of word seeing as the other donkeys couldn't pass fucking gas.