Monster

Yup, like people who don't own a television and vegetarians. And people who complain about folk ordering a drink at a bar while they are sitting there, with plenty of seats available in other areas of the bar.

I can't believe what I'm reading! Crimes against humanity, both of you. People have only one place they can order a drink - from the bar. Watchers of telly can choose from dozens of chairs and get a decent view. This is not etiquette, it's your selfishness, in your local or otherwise.

At one point the polka dot Pharrell Stan smiths were £15 and they still couldn't get rid.

Entirely up to you, but if it was me I'd buy the liquiproof itself for a tenner. I got a brush very similar to that in Tesco for £2 that is great for bringing the nap up on suede.

I use Kiwi Kids. It's about four quid from places like Clark's or Brantano. Works really well, although if the stains you've got are denim bleed they won't come out for anything. Definitely. Tenner for one and it only does two pairs of shoes but it absolutely works and one application lasts for the life of the shoes.

Greatest trainer related comment EVER. To honour it, I may take up smoking a pipe and possibly whittling something out of balsa wood too.

New arrival - Court Trainer from the early 90's in almost mint condition. Let all those with shite jd sports footwear commence with the hating.

I'm not a fancy big city lawyer, but if I had to guess I'd say his wife would probably inherit the property and therefore be making decisions at residents meetings. I'll make it my top priority.

Sluts are fantastic when you're young, but they drink the fuel and the exhaust is far too noisy.

She's more of a "terrifying lunatic" tbh. I think Kia makes them or something.

Instead of having to go to the football today and have a laugh and a few beers, I get to go to my mother-in-laws for badly made tea and a visit to the cemetery so she can cry crocodile tears. I am absolutely delighted about this.

Don't need to, karma has taken care of it. He's got terminal cancer. He spoke to you in person! That was him with the tweed cap. You could have told him then, but you bottled it.

There's a woman at the wife's work called Nova. I wonder if her faither was a car mechanic?

We're fitting a new kitchen because the wife really wants one. That's not getting on my nerves, we have plenty of money to pay for the kitchen and it will stop her chuntering on about Skye and Nova that she works with (really, that's their names) for a couple of weeks. I'm annoyed because I have to sit in a room with a neighbour who puts notes on cars in the car park that he thinks belong to people that don't live here reminding them they can't park there and it's private. Which, apart from being nonsense, makes me want to feed him his tweed cap, forcefully.

Is this Dundonian logic: Didn't buy property, got some trainers but, eh?

What happened to: 'I have a family so I wear tink trainers!'? As it happens Samba are very decent and should last a while. Not keen on white soles though.

Either that, or i'm happy enough to let the wife have her way. I have the basics I want: a quality armchair, a well stocked fridge and a shitload of trainers. I had no idea.

Got a resident's meeting tonight. I just cannot wait. Discussing the rising prices of halogen bulbs and what sort of fucking flowers the gardener should plant this spring for an entire hour (if I'm lucky). Add to that the fucking darts is on.

Liquiproof them. One coat does for the life of the trainer.

You loved shopping for stuff for your flat, aye? Fridge, beer for fridge, big telly, armchair, that sort of thing? Or was it throw pillows to ease the thrush around your clunge? We (she) chose beveled. This must mean that she is subliminally suggesting I am a beast or she's waiting for me to pass out drunk and collect the life insurance. It always cheers me up knowing there are others in a leakier boat. I had no idea kitchens were part of your business, I thought it was renovations.

Hideously cheap looking. What's the fascination currently in making trainers goretex? If you want waterproof buy goretex hiking boots. Trainers are for sports or urban wear, not tramping about the munros. There was some research done on this last year. Various fashion folk and people with a sociology degree or whatever. They decided it was 52 years old. What that's based on I have no idea. Yes. Nice colourway.

On Sunday I had to spend TWO HOURS shopping for a new kitchen, including a fifteen minute discussion* about whether the new worktops should have round or beveled edges. Where did it all go wrong? *if you can call me repeatedly stating 'I don't give a f**k' in a monotone basis for a discussion

Actually Smurph, if they have a solid gum sole (can't quite see) then I'm almost certain they are Varial Lo, which you don;t see much of here as they're kind of preferred by Americans. If they have a vulcanised rubber sole then they could be any kind of plimsoll type shoe. They're definitely not any kind of official skateboard shoe e.g. Gonz or Busenitz.

Are those Quotoole or the 420 lookalikes? I like the Borgs, but they are the single least comfortable trainer I've ever owned. Didn't have the kanga ones though. How do you like the Kirkdales? Been close to buying a few times but still not sure.