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About AyrTroopMajor

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    Ayr United

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  1. Ayr vs Dunfermline

    Ah yes, the man Stan Collymore described as 'the worst manager he ever played under', whose training methods were 'like something from 1975'. Personally can't think of a more ringing endorsement.
  2. Random Matches You Are Going To...

    Saw that. Just evidences the farce that VAR brings. It really isn't an improvement to the game at all. Looks a fantastic ground though, very well suited to the club in terms of size.
  3. Your teams's funniest XI

    GK - Barry John Corr - Conceded 4 in the first half at home to Ross County, was told by fans at the HT whistle to get to f**k. Was subbed at half time and never seen again. RB - Jean Yves Anis - Very excited to sign someone with an exotic sounding name. Shouldn't have been. Disappeared about 5 minutes after arriving. CB - Craig Beattie - Yep, him. In a move that I can only imagine was just for banter, Mark Roberts decided to give him the number 5 shirt and play him at Centre Back. Shockingly enough, we lost. CB - Mark Campbell - Nothing wrong with him as a defender, but decided to list him after remembering that The Sun tried to claim Arsenal were after him. His next club? Falkirk. LB - Jonathan Tiffoney - Wanted to leave Ayr thinking he was destined for the very top. Ended up playing as an Amateur for Alloa. Rather than becoming the galactico he thought he was, he is now a part time footballer and full time sex offender, having been added to the Register for taking indecent images of a woman and sending them to other people. RM - Mark Duthie - Seemed to hit a wild shot out of the ground at least once per game. Must have smashed more windows during his career than he scored goals. CM - Steve Bowey - Excellent player, not at fault at all for our eventual relegation. Just a completely random loan signing from England, looked about 65 years old but strolled through games. CM - David Sinclair - Absolutely rancid footballer, loved a 40 yard ping straight onto the railway line. Last seen holding a fish in the newspaper. LM - Ryan Caddis. Absolutely electric talent when he signed, he then had a late penalty at home to Dunfermline to get through to the next round of the cup. Everyone got their first generation camera phone out to record this triumph. He slotted it straight into the keeper's arms, hand his career crumbled immediately. Never the same player again. CF - Junior Mendes - Scrapping with Morton at Cappielow on the last day of the season, needed to get something from the game to stay up. At 2-1 down, Junior Mendes decided to walk off the pitch as his wrist-tape had come undone. Spent 5 minutes pissing around trying to find some replacement tape while our Championship status was evaporating beside him. CF - Michael Moore - Wtf.
  4. The Bethnal Green Schoolgirls

    Not having this 'she was a child' argument. Fifteen years of age is comfortably old enough to decipher what is right and what is wrong. Her journey to Syria was around the same time as IS were parading the severed heads of innocent foreign aid workers. If, at fifteen, you do not realise that is absolutely barbaric behaviour and a place to be avoided, then you are frankly a f***ing idiot.
  5. Club Badges

    The OP's profile says he's an Airdrie fan. Aye the new badge has seen nothing but success so far, so if it continues to bring us such luck I have no issue with being one of the circular crowd!
  6. Club Badges

    Ouch. No getting back up from that.
  7. Club Badges

    If East Fife were to be reported, the Lord Lyon would be 'required' to investigate and I am sure you would be hit with the same absolute pish as we were. One thing to bear in mind though is the cost to the club. Ayr United had a shop full of merchandise with the old crest on it and were forced to sell it off for pennies because, once we hit a certain date, we were no longer legally allowed to sell it.
  8. Relegation Royal Rumble

    So the only thing that differentiates Queen of the South's 'unstinting failure' and your club's fortunes is the fact you finished 4th out of 10 and were effortlessly swept aside by Dundee United in the Quarter Final. Thanks for clarifying.
  9. Relegation Royal Rumble

    Ah yes, Queen of the South's record of 'unstinting failure' which, shockingly enough, almost precisely mirrors your own club's. Or maybe mid-table mediocrity is seen as a something of a success for wee Morton? It's fine though, we'll just recycle the Ainsley Harriott meme for the 1000th time and gloss right over the facts.
  10. Relegation Royal Rumble

    Another blustering, shite comeback, which is as unsurprising as it is completely irrelevant. What is surprising is that the one-man crusade to slate Stephen Dobbie stems from a man who watches Bob McHugh play every week. 'Gutted for you.'
  11. Relegation Royal Rumble

    'But is no longer ANY of these'. What you are saying is that Dobbie is no longer 'good' at football, which is fairly laughable considering he has 38 goals this season, which is only 2 less than the entirety of your shambolic outfit.
  12. Relegation Royal Rumble

    The dictionary defines a Has-Been as someone who was good at something but no longer is. The fact that you are attaching that label to Stephen Dobbie is nothing short of ridiculous. Mind you, I seem to recall you visiting the Ayr thread last season to dish out some kind of 'point and laugh' exercise for the signing of Lawrence Shankland, so evidently your eye for a player is as good as your patter. Shite.
  13. Club Badges

    Rather ironic that an Airdrie fan started this thread, considering it was also an Airdrie fan that went full on tears and snotters after they were made to change their badge and grassed us in to the Lord Lyon, meaning we also had to change our badge to something 'non-heraldic'. Our new badge is much better though so if the guy that reported us is reading this, cheers m9.
  14. Bundesliga 2018/2019

    Huge win for H96 especially with other results going their way as you say. Watched the Stuttgart game yesterday and although Fortuna are in good form and have done very well to pull themselves up the table, Stuttgart are an absolute gang and I fully expect them to be in the bottom two come the end of the season. Probably not a good time to be visiting Hoffenheim after their heroics in Dortmund though!