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Herman Hessian

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Everything posted by Herman Hessian

  1. exactly the same as that WW2 'dazzle pattern' camouflage for shipping - which was designed to break up the outline of a slow-moving object and confuse observers as to what direction it was moving in - perfect for Phil Jones, and to disguise the size of Pogba after 8/10 months of inactivity...
  2. maybe her eyesight wasn't up to it at the moment in question, though ? that's the sort of thing you don't take risks with - it's not as if you can just jump in your car and swan about for a bit to test if your eyesight is good enough to drive, is it ?
  3. have spent the last few weeks at work configuring an e-commerce site, and one of the products is called a "GIRFT leaflet" thus far, I have resisted any temptation to amend the last letter - site goes live next Monday - it would be a simple matter for me to ascertain if there is any sort of crossover in the venn diagram of site subscribers and P&B members...
  4. the phrase "chippy tea" is of the same gratingly childish ilk as the use of defining what period of time remains before a given event by the number of "sleeps" anyone who has "three sleeps until my next chippy tea" needs smothering with their blanky (unless they are four years old)
  5. phenomenal things - so much better than breast (leave it) for making curries or anything else chicken related come to that; if you can find a butcher who will bone and skin the fucking things, that is....
  6. true enough, but factor in being waited on with brennivín and harðfiskur by an elfin þjónustustúlka on the one hand compared with your neighbour hanging over the fence shouting "an' wha' the fook's you set o' twats up to, eh ?" while your filter slowly clogs up with the whippet shit that they've lobbed in overnight - may mitigate against the herriot'esque experience...
  7. not exactly pets (well - not pets in any way, shape, manner or form) but these herberts have been eating my carefully tended worms every night for the last week or so - not seen them in the previous six months we've lived here so no idea why they've suddenly taken to turning up - other than Mrs H is planting our her new raised beds and they have designs on scoffing anything that looks remotely like growing as soon as it makes an appearance they're surprisingly big close up an' all - and make a load of noise snuffling around - most impressive thinking about setting out strips of double-sided carpet tape on boards and leaving them on the grass overnight - secure myself a lifetime's worth of shaving brush bristles at little or no cost - result !
  8. East Sussex, between Lewes and Crowborough - and yeah, partridges of the red-legged variety (foreigners !) - there are herds (definitely the proper collective term) of them about in the winter, ahve seen up to a dozen at a time, but only seen the odd pair or singles over the last month or so...
  9. Literally wouldnt even finish what I was doing if I found out I could afford to get up and walk out think I'd feel obliged to take a last day or so ringing round and telling a few of the arseholes I've been obliged to deal with over the years what I really think of them without having to toe the party line and 'keep them sweet' before disappearing - f**k using my own phone to do that, it'd be a final, glorious abuse of company facilities !
  10. ...and back OT - the quiet roads have been glorious ! a 25 mile round trip to work and back seeing nothing more than a few partridges, some sheep and lambs and some ducks and stuff have been fantastic - not looking forward to a return to the usual cavalcade of barely sentient fucking imbeciles....
  11. bearing in mind there's barely a couple of inches of water in that tub at best under normal parameters, I'm thinking that may be just an 'entrance ', and there's another four feet or so sunk in to the floor with a seat to one side half way down - he'll be able to sit in hot water up to his shoulders, in front of the fire, staring at the space in his front room where the TV's going to be in 15 years or so when it's invented/commercially available...
  12. if the brickwork's solid, why not drill, plug and screw some 90 degree brackets on to it (inside, so they're hidden by the soil) and then fix the boards on to those, then just some relatively lightweight battens in the corners (same depth as the wood) jsut to give a bit more stability) ?
  13. that's perfect - thanks - they're playing each other in the opening round of K4 fixtures on Saturday morning - so, whoever loses will be just the job...
  14. 'semi-regularly' sounds about right for you and the rest of the limp-dicked Goyang twats from the diddy side of the Hangang , eh ? fair comment about the airport, mind - there's no sign of a tesco as far as i can see... anyway - on consideration, Gimpo is far too urban for my liking, can't be doing with these Seoul satellite cities - is there a team of idiot bumpkins from the rural heartlands - much more my style ?
  15. interesting shadow - do you live in a castle and have re-turfed the killing grounds covered by crossbow fire from the northwestern bartizan ?
  16. madame is growing climbing french beans up 'em by all accounts - the 'squeaky' thin ones, which i'll eat if they're covered in vinegar and black pepper wqs a bit cross with them, as it happens - given the geometric perfection (sort of) observed during the raised bed construction, she's just thrown them up all on the piss and a bit shoddy, like - hoping for some unseasonal high winds so i can sneak out, knock them over claiming unforseen meteorological intervention and then set them up again - properly...
  17. right - this can go in here as it was happening regardless rather than being a lockdown achievement, but here's five weekend's worth of graft replacing some thoroughly knackered raised beds of sorts that were here when we moved in last autumn... the original bombsite; had tree saplings and all sorts to start with that have been cleared over the winter: original sleepers mostly rotten and not much good at all other than foundations and retainers... a fine excuse to buy a mattock - what an excellent bit of kit that is ! note the spirit level and measuring string to give the appearance of care and accuracy bog-standard half-lapped corners and some fucking great big coach bolts.... (that's a tesco bag btw - not some union bears/princess of hearts nonsense or owt like that !) repeat a further three times, stick a couple of flower troughs at one end and lash up some steps... soil's very good but was full of bindweed - whole lot had to be dug over to a depth of 18", picked clean and sifted - b*****d of a job just gotta get some turf to fill in the gaps now, drop a few pavers in there and job's a good'un - shame i don't like vegetables really....
  18. however prodigiously empizzled your T-Rex may be, I don't think it'd be a match for a raging Triceracocks...
  19. pleasingly there are three leagues below K1, with K3 & K4 kicking off this coming weekend - broadens the scope rather than being a glory hunter and hitching your arse to one of the top league teams currently considering K3's Gimpo Citizen FC - 'mon the Gimps !
  20. doner kebab meat, chilli sauce, coriander, skinny chips and sour cream in a fajita wrap flat-bread thing or fish fingers with cheese, chips, shredded lettuce, tartare sauce and ketchup in a wholemeal bun as previously described tbf sandwiches of any sort are fucking lush slightly tumescent and moist about the mouth now...
  21. she'd have done a turn during the black-out surely ?
  22. not wishing to complicate matters (much) - but that's a choc-ice on a stick remove the stick - you have a choc-ice, not just ice cream obviously - ice cream is a constituent of a choc ice, but referring to the above item as ice cream is like calling a roast dinner 'some peas' - absolute madness
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