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Herman Hessian

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Herman Hessian last won the day on October 25 2018

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About Herman Hessian

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    stood in a field where barley grows
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  1. gravely disappointed in the majority of forecasts that have been made over the last couple of weeks or so - that looks f**k all like a sombrero - much more like a wizards's hat (leave it) or klan hood...
  2. missed a fucking trick there - should've done it properly and gone for fully-interactive trials on TV with viewer voting for the verdict - great entertainment for all concerned during lockdown; they could bring the death sentence back for the duration to give the whole thing a bit more heft...
  3. IMO the hardest part of this is getting the chilli sauce right - but if you can crack that, you're in hog heaven from this day forward as it's great on so many other things - might even give mrs rugster an added piquancy 😉 this is a perfect base with which to start: Lingham's Ginger Garlic & Chilli Sauce (from Amazon) - add a few chopped birdseyes, tin of passata and a heaped spoonful of lime pickle; boil it all up together for a bit - job's a good 'un...
  4. A whole new ball game: enter the bizarre world of Athletico Mince (link to article on Guardian website)
  5. was pretty ambivalent about the whole 'spoons thing up to this point, but really, f**k the bloke - what an utter piece of shit i really hope this is his "ratners" moment, and the fucking chain crashes and burns...
  6. Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device (today's guardian)
  7. heh - i'll see if i can weld it on to a pram 😂
  8. right – not strictly speaking a lockdown project, this has been ongoing for a couple of years, but I’ve had the time to really get stuck in to it over the last few days to get near completion this is a toad in the hole table, the quintessential stupid Sussex pub game popular in and around Lewes (ten mile down the road from Hessian Towers); basically a lead slab about 13 x 16” with a hole in the middle. The brass discs are the toads, and you stand eight feet from the front of the table and try and chuck ‘em in the hole (one point if the thing lands flush on the lead surface, two points in the hole – there are further intricacies but I’ll spare you the tedium until we’re really climbing the walls). You can buy the things ready-made, but they are the best part of five hundred quid, so I thought f**k that and went down the homemade route; swapped some rough cider for a load of old lead flashing off a chicken farming bloke near my previous house; since then, been melting it with a plumber’s blowtorch and pouring the molten lead in to a block – has taken fucking ages; bought a special conical drill bit to make the hole – very smart bit of kit that is, and at twenty quid represents the main outlay (other than a few canisters of campingaz for the torch) First experimental chuck of the toads (lighter shown for scale) – second one down the hole. I need to fit some copper sheet round the edges to smarten the thing up (which will make it unique – none of the pub versions have such finery), fix it on to a slightly more robust table and generally tart it up. Eventually, I’m going to fetch it down the local pub and get a team going (new leagues starts in the Autumn); this will prove the final justification for hours of ‘wasted time’ as it’ll be an excuse to get down the pub every Monday night – plus training sessions, of course !
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