BTFD

I saw one of the lassies from Friends recently, and she had that "Real Housewives" look of skin artificially stretched across bone. If you see any of the YouTube videos of influencers telling young lassies how to avoid aging (and, let's be honest, it's what we're all watching), they're all convinced that the key is to avoid using muscles in your face. So, no laughing, smiling, or displaying emotion of any kind for you. There was one who claimed to be able to smile by only moving two facial muscles. Utter fucking lunatics.

Aw, Robbo's away? Just had a shock when I saw he's 34; I still tend to think of him as one of the younger players. I seem to remember folk being a bit on the fence to start with, as he was basically Holmer's backup, but he was always a handy utility player and was as good as anyone else when he became the first choice in that position. Unless Arbroath are in the market, he'll be playing against us next season, won't he?

...and yet he's still going to die and rot, just like the most deprived pauper on the planet. The only difference is that the idea clearly terrifies yer man with the cash. There's been a few videos going around lately about how excessive amounts of money drives people to insanity as they lose all grasp on reality. I'm sure it's not true - they all seem so stable, happy, and well-adjusted.

Outrageous. Don't they realise that explosives can damage property? A landlord could end up out of pocket if this was to catch on.

In response, the NRA start campaigning to legalise rocket launchers for home defense purposes. (this is when someone points out that they've been doing that already)

It's just not possible to think of all the dead and maimed anymore, while you can still get away with a single general prayer for "all the people who died today because there's not enough Jesus in schools".

I'm sure I remember Elvira (erstwhile Mistress of the Dark) saying that she lost her virginity to a certain Las Vegas stalwart while working as an underage showgirl. I've avoided mentioning his name in case I dreamed it, but frankly I'll be quite concerned if this is what my subconscious thinks about during its off hours.

On second thoughts, maybe a thread on famous men who haven't shagged uncomfortably/illegally young girls would be more sensible. I'll start with...uhh...Wayne Rooney?

We could have a whole thread about famous men who've shagged teenagers with no negative consequences. The attitude often seems to be, "oh Peter, the old rogue, what's he like? Lock up your daughters!" If he'd shagged somebody's sixteen year old son, there'd have been a lot more questions being asked. People are weird.

Weird, maybe something to do with your account if it's on phone AND desktop. How is it with other browsers? Any problems with other forums? Take a look at Black and White Army and see if you get the same issue.

Let's hope none of the mods are two days from retirement again.

I'm sure he's lovely, but I'm not shagging him either. Unrelated, but imagine poor Methuselah trying to find a sexual partner with the half-plus-seven rule. Genuinely read that as Phil being chastised by his brother at first, and it worked the same. No idea if the senior Schofields are still with us, but how miserable would you feel to discover more than one of your kids shopped in the junior section.

I feel no guilt for the spoiler, but console yourself with the knowledge that the fucking elf dies. Nice reason to be cheerful if you get bored during the coming films. Ron Weasley ends up in an M. Night Shyamalan film, which some would argue is a fate worse then death.

Beware the pubic bone, gentlemen. Say no more. No mention of how Mrs Fracturedcock coped with having a willy rammed into her perineum hard enough to fracture it in three places. That's some amount of force in an area that likes to be treated nicely!

Jesus f**k. Ten year olds write harsher disses than that. The old man's brain has turned to mush. "Yeah, well, my...my...my willy works, and yours is small and doesn't. The weird exchange kid from Asia saw it, and he said it's really big, and we're going to DisneyWorld because he's my friend now, and I never liked you anyway Rob or whatever your name is"