BFTD

You posted in it several times, you fruitloop If you remember, it was the thread in which I turned out to be the Yorkshire Ripper.

I always had a suspicion that P&B was full of ancient vampires. I'm willing to watch someone's house during daytime hours in eventual exchange for The Gift, if any of you are interested. I think you're confusing Twitter with your porn collection TBH.

Wife broadening her horizons?

Jobby-flinger is relatively recent, by P&B standards.

Bold Rover is exactly as bright as a Sun reader.

So you'll be expecting him/her to go "around the world" in 80 days, then?

I've got a strange feeling someone at the sports desk has made a c**t of subtracting the time that's passed since his last contract started, and figured the signing was news because he/she hadn't heard about it at the time. No, that would never happen in the Scottish press. What was I thinking?

It matters to employers that you see things through, whether you end up working in the field or not. Everyone wants to quit these courses at some point; just keep ploughing on until you get the paperwork. Can't emphasise enough the importance of actually having finished; people have to make shitty judgements about potential employees on little information all the time, and dropping out of a college course can easily be the difference when deciding who to call in for interview. Almost guaranteed that will make a difference to you at some point, whether you even know it or not.

With the daft transfer fees flying around, maybe just being a product of Chelsea Youth will be enough to get a £10m fee from a second-tier club in Europe in a few years time. Presumably that would be worthwhile to Chelsea if he's on, say, half a million a year. No way he'll end up going straight to the Juniors from Chelsea; it took Garry O'Connor at least eighteen months after leaving Hibs, didn't it?

Do a wee search for 'Islam Feruz Contract' and you'll find plenty of reports that he got a new four year deal in 2014. Quite why Chelsea would offer him a new one with a couple of years to go is a mystery, especially as it would seemingly only extend the length by another year. Be interested to know if any new termination clauses have been included, as it's hard to see what Chelsea are getting out of having him around until 2019, considering it must be pretty clear that he's not going to be bothering the first team by now. Maybe just hoping to wangle a fat transfer fee at some point?

He's not mentioned the site; clearly a strap-on for Valentine's pegging activities.

I've had to block YouTube on the wean's computer, as he's been using it as an excuse for not sleeping well - he keeps watching creepypasta videos and claims that he can't stop himself. Load of nonsense; he's just looking for an excuse to stay up later, but it's quite entertaining to listen to his convoluted reasons about why he should get YouTube back I know, I'm a terrible father.

Jesus. Let's hope that bragging about scoring goals in someone's youth team isn't the career high point that he uses to cadge drinks in twenty years' time.

That's how he was seen down south too, for what it's worth. I doubt Scottish football gets much attention in Europe, so it's hard to know, but I'd be surprised if he didn't get notable write-ups on the odd occasions they were exposed to him (arf). Jim Leighton never had that air of invincibility, despite being a quality keeper, and he had that period of appearing out of his depth at Manchester United (which may well have been due to confidence, as he claims). Just my opinion, of course, but I'd have been surprised if Goram had ended up there (before the age of 103, or whatever it was) and experienced similar problems. It's not necessarily worth reading too much into the number of caps awarded either, considering someone's already mentioned Jimmy Johnstone only receiving 20, or something daft.

Blimey; they really don't trust you foreign types, do they? Are you sure this is a visa and not part of your early release conditions?

I think I asked this a while back, but is there ever any explanation for what that's all about? I keep expecting to find some reference to the guy with waaay to much time on his hands

Was this "scoring goals week in week out" spell on somebody's Football Manager save?

You OK, Gran? You seem to have gone all goth lately.

No, I was suggesting 62 was a ludicrously young age for GD - from other people's posts, I'd got the impression he must have kicked about with Methuselah when they were both spry and virile. He could almost get a run out for Forfar at 62, FFS. Perhaps a new thread for our elder sage would be more appropriate. But we need to work out who that wise, forgetful teacher is, first.

Goram surely the last. Regularly discussed as being one of the best keepers in Europe during the early Nineties, and one of that elite class of keepers who seem capable of pulling off miracles on a regular basis. Consensus on here seems to be that he'd have been snapped up by a bigger continental club if he was that good, but he seemed happy to be at Ibrox, and that's a miserable criteria for judging the quality of British footballers in general anyway - the majority of players born here have no interest in playing abroad, and I'm sure that's an attitude that is well known on the continent. Had Goram been born in any of the major European nations, he'd have been a regular in their national squads, so that's good enough for me. Nothing since then. Fletcher and Lambert were good squad players, but replaceable without too much difficulty. Craig Gordon could well have found himself at a European power, but we'll never know now. Barry Ferguson was a good player, but we're getting into silly territory now - someone will seriously suggest The Thumb if we're not careful

The thought never would have occurred to me. It has now, though. No need - it's Orf. Happy to help, Moz.

Too much lambada, RN? Who's our oldest duffer on here anyway? Granny Danger was claiming to be something ludicrous like 62 not long ago, so surely we have an older, wiser mind than that who can act as our guide. Perhaps they could get an honorary global mod position, and use this thread to give sage advice to youngsters (who probably wouldn't listen anyway, the wee scamps).

^^^ kens how to holiday

Do they fry it in dark matter or something?

Bermuda? Edit: congrats to SlipperyP, by the way - how long does this one last?