BFTD

Give up now - it's a b*****d and, after you've spent years grinding your way through to the end, it just gives it, "ha ha, you didn't finish the game using a rusty spoon, so no end sequence for you!" Also, you're not a kid anymore and your reactions have gone to shite. Get back to Plants vs Zombies with the rest of us decrepit codgers.

It was a bit of mild amusement at the proles' reactions, knowing that he was already a wealthy, well connected man who'd be absolutely fine. I don't think we realise quite how little losing an election matters to most MPs, other than to their pride. Mind David Mellor losing the plot at Sir Jammy Goldfinger on the hustings and somehow making an ever bigger embarrassment of himself than when he was sucking Z-list actresses' toes. "No, no, I think you will find that it is YOU who has made a fool of himself today, James!"

I might be about 130kg the now. Really let myself go over the past year. On the plus side, I'm ready to take my "P&B's biggest tits" crown back from @RH33. We should do a survey to find out P&B's biggest chonky boy.

#1 on Google's list. Phwoar. Best of luck; sounds manageable, so hopefully between tablets, salt, and sexy lingerie you'll be set

New REFUK training materials:

Ah, the big list of clubs that are secretly "ONE OF THEM" because they had the temerity to beat one/lose to the other heavily. I wonder if they really believe that club managers all eventually have an edict sent down from the board that they have to relay in the dressing room..."well lads, I know we were planning to slack off in the last couple of games, but the chairman's noticed that our opponents might win the league ahead of his favourite clumpany, so I need you to go out and win for the Pope/Queen today".

Standard. When Celtic lost at Tynecastle recently, the BBC (I believe) had a headline referring to it as a "shock". Nobody in positions of authority in the game questions that the current champions losing away to the team in third place is a surprise, and whether it's a healthy thing that Celtgers should be expected to win every game against everyone else.

Yes, very. The amount of internecine plotting and one-upmanship that goes on in offices is insane. One place I worked at had internal cliques between departments and locations, to the point that people would freeze out new additions to their department if they'd come from the same department in another building, just in case they were spying on them. Most departments had a "friend" (read: reasonable person) that other departments knew they could approach to ask about bog standard work issues, as everyone else would ignore any verbal requests, and attempts to copy in higher-ups to ignored emails would just result in a massive blame chain. There were probably less than a hundred employees across the whole business. I was universally distrusted because I operated out of multiple locations in my own department and got to see what everyone was up to. The business owners were well aware of all of this and had a "what can you do?" attitude, which is probably part of the reason why they're long out of business.

I like how you had to check, just in case it was him

Has anyone actually enjoyed any of the stuff they've been exposed to on here? I've started unironically listening to Lil Mariko, God help me, and I already loved that Leonard Nimoy album.

There will come a point when we'll all forget what's replacing them and will just be delighted and relieved that they're all finally getting emptied. Probably the start of the campaign, which should be hilarious apart from the heavy flirting with fascism that the three main parties in England will take part in. It'll also be amusing to see the Lib Dems trying to keep up from the sidelines saying, "well, we'll also be jolly mean to people, like...erm...parents of truant children, maybe? But only if that's OK with them!" I'll be quite happy to slip into the fantasy that we'll be getting something better, and that the scumbags losing their jobs won't be happy to call in their favours and earn more money from tasty advisory "jobs". It'll be like a wee holiday.

I'm sorry, but is that...on your child?! Frankly, I'd already have shopped myself to Social Services. I've never seen a cockroach here. That's impressive. I didn't clean the kitchen floor for a couple of weeks in Arizona. Went into the kitchen during the night, turned on the light, and several dozen of the feckers all shot under the cabinets within a split second. The horror. Got pest control out and never saw them again, but I spent the rest of the time in that apartment paranoid that there were hundreds of eyes watching me from behind the fridge. I was also attacked by an angry locust in the bedroom too, but that's another story. I think the dug was more freaked out than me.

It's just like Fight Club, only if Ed Norton never punched Brad Pitt because the latter couldn't be arsed to ask. Also, rules 1 & 2 are never broken because it would take too much effort.

I think you're just a weirdo. Personally, I was delighted when the manager of my bank was replaced and immediately promised to use Comic Sans on the Unauthorised Overdraft letters they send me every month due to my spiralling poverty. Also, they're not "less corrupt" and "slightly less tory". You mean that they're currently unproven to be less corrupt and tory, but we can hope. Isn't that better?

We may yet live to see the day when they're all technically former Celtgers players.

Is Ian Watkins allowed to tweet from prison?

He's making it up; my mate would've heard of it.

We used to get this all the time at an old job, only worse. "Hi, we need you go out to Timbuktu and pick up something today" "We're fully booked and we've got two house clearances. One of them has phoned three times to check we're coming as they need to have everything out by the end of the day" "Oh, well that'll all have to wait as it's for a friend of one of the directors, and apparently it's very important" "So the director's asked you to tell us to dingy an entire day's work to do this?" "Well, no, but they asked and we told them you could do it" "We obviously can't without letting a load of customers down, so you'll have to go back and tell them naw" "...you'll just have to do it, it's too late now" Cue a morning spent calling customers from the van to let them know why we'd be letting them down, only to arrive in West Africa and discover that somebody's granny needed a rotten table and pish-stained mattress taken to the tip, and there was no rush. Every two or three weeks, board members using the business as their personal service and being facilitated by arse-kissing middle-managers.

Whatever their views...and they're usually horrific...it's so weird how they like to give it the "we're the majority" bit, get proven wrong at an election, then immediately return to the same nonsense again. Presumably a lot of them are at it, but some genuinely seem to believe that everyone still secretly hates brown people, or thinks that anyone who isn't heterosexual must be a BEAST. Wonder when they'll all unite into the "elections are all rigged because we aren't winning!" movement that the Americans are enjoying right now.

I used to work at a place where that was exclusively the kind of shite people yakked about all the time. Regular updates about the current value of their house. Nary a mention of portable covert sexual appliances. You can take solace in the fact that you're undoubtedly more interesting that any of them.

Virtually all the replies defending wee Wilma's views or giving it "so what? SNP BAD!"

I can wholeheartedly recommend Norovirus for weight loss. Couldn't eat for more than two weeks and had to sit in a wipe-clean chair lined with towels for almost a month, but the results were spectacular. Felt the closest I've come to dying so far, but I'll be amazed if influencers don't start deliberately contracting it soon to get beach body ready.

Amusing that the Currant's primary outrage is about the nickname Humza Youseless. Just makes it seem like they don't understand that the old-school National Front racism is the problem, or don't care and just want everyone to covertly chuckle at a silly name. Probably a mix of both.

I'm a bit on the fence about this. The Panini collections have been moving slightly towards a more kiddie style recently (IMO), and this looks even more so. Might just order the hardback album and see if I can grab a box of stickers on the cheap from somewhere, or get a full set when the demand dies down (which ruins the fun, obviously). The cost has been putting me off for a while, and I didn't finish Qatar 2022 in the end. If Scotland hadn't qualified I'm not sure I'd bother TBH, and I've been collecting these since Mexico 86. I worked out a while ago that the packs of stickers should be 24p each if they'd followed inflation since then, so it's quite a rip-off now. I seem to remember Groupon and the like doing boxes at a slight reduction in the past? Anyone seen any deals yet? Oh, the thing about the play-off sides being included reminds me of the Orbis World Cup 90 collection, which you bought in fortnightly segments beginning about a year before the tournament. For some reason they decided to start with Denmark who were almost qualified before falling apart and getting pipped by Romania

Genuinely the worst troll since the one who named himself after an insulting term for kids at a special needs school.