BFTD

That's entirely fair. Those hookers and blow charity gala nights aren't going to pay for themselves, however.

Terminator: Salvation - pretty impressive CGI, but I still don't find this one very interesting. I guess the aftermath of Judg(e)ment Day doesn't do much for me. Plus, some aspects of the plot are a bit cringemaking, like Also, y'know that suspicious feeling that things have been included in a movie to sell toys later? Bit of that going on here. We're not talking Transformers-level shilling, but it's definitely there. Obsession - Seventies De Palma film. Fairly entertaining, but transparently obvious where the plot is going within the first half-hour, which is a problem for any film with a twist in the tale. Worth watching the DVD extras to see Brian De Palma cheerfully admitting that he ripped off Vertigo for most of the plot, which would come as a surprise to precisely nobody

Effects are still great in T2 - I meant that John Connor's character in T2 hasn't aged well. I don't remember having a problem with him when the film came out, but I've found him incredibly annoying any time I've seen the film since then. He fit well with early Nineties popular culture, but he's a smug insufferable wee p***k, and it's hard to root for his survival. I know people didn't like Nick Stahl in T3, but I don't think T3 would've been improved by the return of Ed Furlong's version of the character. Not a criticism of Furlong, BTW; I'm sure he played it as he was told. I shouldn't have asked for clarification about the hatred for T3, to be honest. A quick Google reveals blog posts like this one, which contains all the detail I could have asked for, and is frankly terrifying (no, I didn't read it). Would be interesting to know what dissatisfied Terminator fans would've wanted from a third film, though - seems to me that, between T3 and Salvation, the options are exhausted. Think we'll watch Salvation again tonight. Chekov's Michael Biehn impression was entirely passable, IMO.

Dragged a laugh out of me for reasons that I don't understand - well done!

Chain Reaction - Christ, is this almost twenty years old? Keanu Reeves goes on the run after shadowy agency try to destroy his perpetual motion machine because OIL! Only he and Rachel Weisz can save the day by outrunning city-levelling explosions on a motorcycle. Offensively silly story, but nowhere near as bad as I remember, which makes it only mediocre. I Spit On Your Grave 2 - sequel to the remake of one of the worst controversial films ever made. This one follows the usual template of rape and humiliation before subjecting its protagonist to the ultimate Hollywood indignity - EASTERN EUROPE! Or so you'd think from her reaction to finding out where her kidnappers have taken her. If you're fond of revenge movies and aren't put off by the prologue of sexual assaults, there's much to 'enjoy' in seeing some truly awful people suffer horribly. Still amazed that this has become a series, however.

That's how I feel about T2, to be honest, almost word for word. The only real difference is that T3 is sorely lacking Linda Hamilton, but it does benefit from a lack of Ed Furlong. John Connor in T2 has not aged well. Both still cracking action movies, but feel like popcorn fluff in comparison to the original. I feel like I get why the original is popular, but I obviously like T2 for different reasons if T3 wasn't an appropriate sequel to it

I thought you were talking about the snooker until I saw the other comments!

The Cat O'Nine Tails - decent thriller from the mercurial Dario Argento. A blind puzzle addict and an investigative journalist team up to solve a series of murders revolving around a genetics laboratory. Far more toned down than Argento's later output, but still a decent enough tale to pass an evening with. Could do with a modern remake, actually. The Grudge 2 - sequel to the American remake. Seems like it's going somewhere in the first half, before spectacularly running out of ideas, gradually bumping off the cast until the whole thing peters out. Stakes its entire fright budget on the audience finding the croaky mother scary just by her presence in a scene. The third film was even worse. Both the Japanese and American series had nothing to add beyond the first films. Boogeyman - the Sam Raimi-produced one from a few years back. Got this as part of a cheapo pack along with Gothika and...something else really memorable. Pretty dull flick about a guy whose father is whisked away by the closet-dwelling Boogeyman during his childhood. Fast forward to adulthood, and the ugly bugger is back for reasons undefined. Seems like it might be going somewhere for a while, but never does, and stumbles quietly along to a whimpered climax. Still, it's probably better than Gothika, which all of you should see right now! You'll love it!

I know, you aren't alone. Still don't know why though.

Terminator 3 - never understood why this got such a roasting from Terminator fans. I guess it doesn't do the dark sci-fi thing that the original did, but Terminator 2 already shot that particular bolt. It's a cracking action film that... Oh, and it's still more entertaining that Terminator: Salvation. Right At Your Door - got a fair bit of hype when it came out, but didn't really live up to it. It's an OK little drama about a chemical attack on Los Angeles, but it focuses almost entirely on a couple who are caught up on the outskirts. Problem is that neither are very likable to one degree or another, so I was none too fussed what happened to either of them. There's a twist ending as a reward for sitting through the rest of the film, but it's kinda pedestrian as well, despite the pleasing schadenfreude.

The Case of the Bloody Iris - aka What Are Those Strange Drops of Blood Doing on the Body of Jennifer?, which practically screams "GIALLO!" for anyone ever remotely familiar with the genre. Film was pretty dull, and I'd lost interest in the identity of the killer long before the end. A few things of note, however, one being some dodgy handling of race. Classic quotes include, "She's black - but not TOO black", and "Every white man wants a black woman - your sins can be as black as they are" There's also a predatory lesbian stereotype, typical for the time period, who doesn't even seem to fully comprehend her gayness herself. Those interested in attractive naked ladies might want to take a look

I'm with the pro-camp on Cabin in the Woods. Quite imaginative and entertaining. I also need Mulholland Drive explained. Maybe Lynch threw the lesbian scenes in so we wouldn't ask too many questions?

You can't blame them - the most popular shows on TV are nothing but this. The mother-in-law accused me of not liking music because I couldn't sit through The X Factor with her. Still debating where to put the body.

Oh, she got the ketchup alright. Without it, she just wouldn't have eaten anything, while still staying in a normal happy mood. What set her off was having it mentioned that she always used ketchup. Then the darkness descended and the villagers feared for the lives of their children. Y'know, she would fly into a demonstrative rage at the sight of a camera too. Racking my brains to think if I ever saw her reflection

.........egad!

Noticed that there was a discussion about ketchup obsessions back at the beginning of the thread (when dinosaurs and Rangers walked the earth). Just wanted to add that I used to know a girl who insisted on ketchup with everything, and it turned out to be some kind of strange psychological comfort blanket that she couldn't even bring herself to acknowledge. She would not eat a meal if ketchup wasn't available and became terrifyingly angry if it was ever pointed out - as in, teeth gritted, silent for the rest of the night, burning a hole in the floor with her eyes, presumably fighting the overwhelming urge to murder everybody else in the room. Never did work out what that was all about. Boring, I know, but I've been wanting to tell someone about that weirdness for years

Recently had to drop in to leave a message at a solicitor's office. The wee girl on reception punted me through to an empty wood-paneled waiting room, which I paced around for a few minutes until I noticed a swastika carved into the wood behind one of the plush leather chairs. I went back out to tell the receptionist. "What?" "A swastika. Someone's carved a swastika into your wall." Blank stare. "A...suv...svar...?" "The symbol that the Nazis used in Germany?" Blank stare. "During the Second World War?" "Uhh..." "C'mon, I'll show you." We march into the waiting room. "There. A swastika. Just thought you'd like to know before somebody important came in and took offence." "Oh. I'll let him know when he comes out. Thanks." She turns to walk back to her desk again, but stops in the doorway. "Um...what should I tell him again?" Not sure whether to envy her innocence or be horrified at the ignorance. Pretty sure I mentioned Hitler at some point too, but that didn't elicit a flicker of recognition either.

Zombie Creeping Flesh - dire and ponderous no-budget horror from the Seventies, brought to you by the director of the execrable Rats: Night of Terror. Boldly answers the timeless question; will anyone notice if we just re-use the soundtrack to Dawn of the Dead? Film supposedly takes place in Papua New Guinea, purely as an excuse to use large quantities of wildlife stock footage, some of which features animals that aren't indigenous to the island. Bad company creates gas that makes zombies, only for a leak to break out at their generic manufacturing plant. Time to send in the Italian SAS, I think, for reasons that aren't clear. Jump to a group of randoms besieged by zombies, who are rescued by our heroes. Cue lots of wandering around, to very little end. The movie has several examples of acting so atrocious that the people involved must never have met another human being before arriving on set. Also, several examples of utterly irrationality far above and beyond the norm for the genre, the most egregious being soldiers either throwing away or forgetting how to fire their guns when confronted by ravenous flesh-eaters. The zombie make-up is pants too; they look like they've been caught out in the rain after using some of that spray-on hair pish. Look out for this swivel-eyed loon, who clearly wants to rape something, but thankfully dies before he can make up his mind.

Demons 2 - an entertaining mix of pus, corrosive blood, sweaty muscle men, and appalling Eighties music and fashion. Nicely straddles the line between stupid and ridiculous, and is quite acceptable if you're in the mood for a gruesome, yet silly evening. Also, this guy's awesome, though I'm not quite sure why.

House of the Dead - on a positive note, I remember Alone in the Dark being worse than this. Pretty faithful to the video game, in that neither has much plot. Twentysomethings head for an island, then OMG UNCONVINCING ZOMBIES! Has all the artistic merit of a movie designed purely to make cash, masterminded by a director who has made a career out of optioning b-grade video game titles, presumably because the publishers actually paid him for the unexpected publicity. It looks like it might be funny-bad at the start due to the terrible delivery of poor dialogue, but quickly slides into a turgid, boring soup of apathy. Plenty of mediocre tits though. Completely by accident, this is the third Jonathan Cherry movie I've seen in the last two weeks. This was the only one on the IMDB's Worst 100, however, so yay for him.

Buried Alive - sought this out as it was Frank Darabont's first feature as director, and he's awesome. Works quite well as the opening of a double feature, as it's an entertaining wee potboiler, but nothing really special. Also, Billy's dad from Gremlins! Don't remember ever seeing him in anything else. The Ruins - one of the better killer plant movies Felt seriously trolled when...

BigFatTabbyWife loves this movie. Always managed to raise a smile on long car journey with a bit of, "we can't stop here, this is bat country!" back in the day. Alright, I like it too

Mirrors 2 - no worse than the first, which was ok-ish. The wife tells me that the Korean original is better. Incidentally, did they ever find Nick Stahl, or is he still roaming the wilderness in a drug-induced frenzy, terrifying the simple Californian folk with his tales of cyborgs and agonising castration? Saw Sinister again last night too, and maybe enjoyed it more than the first time. Has quite a nasty underlying tone, and the score is nicely effective. Looking forward to the sequel now, despite the likelihood of extreme suckage.

Just watched 'They' again with the wife and nipper. Not bad, has its moments, but could've been better. The alternate ending is much better than the original. This is the one I'm talking about: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283632/. Thought I should clarify as there's a ton of movies with titles in the vein of They! Them! It! Those! Which? They Buggers O'er There! Et cetera.

Pretty accurate. Such a waste.