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About BFTD

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    Jazz Fiend

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    Alloa Athletic
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  1. Wait, I found it. No need to spend any time watching videos of fart porn or hamster wrestling. Unless you want to, of course.
  2. There was some miracle sealant spray being advertised to me on YouTube last week. Sprayed the inside of wicker baskets with it, then filled them with water without a drop spilled. If it's being advertised on YouTube, it must be quality. No idea what it was called, so I recommend you search for the same things as me for a while and see if it comes up. Minception
  3. Why is "mince" used to describe something bad? Surely everyone loves a bit of mince.
  4. The driving parts in general are hilarious if you don't stick to the script. You can't be killed in the early rails missions when you're supposed to be shooting other cars. Just go and get a cuppa, and wait 'til Jackie arrives at the destination. The races are rubberbanded so badly that I crashed towards the end of one and got wedged between some rocks and a barrier. Took me a couple of minutes to slowly extricate myself, only to discover the other cars waiting for me a few hundred yards away The most annoying part of the races, however, is that they include an on-road indication of your route, and it works brilliantly. Any other time you're in a vehicle, however, you have to rely on a wee automap that's so far zoomed in that you constantly miss turn-offs if you're going too fast. It's a futuristic cyberpunk game - why would you include an AR route overlay, a perfectly reasonable addition, then not allow the player to use it for virtually the whole game?
  5. Not even SparklingBrook was SparklingBrook, according to SparklingBrook. She was quite unpopular over there, so presumably some lassie that she'd pissed off on Mumsnet thought it would leave her seething to know that Scottish football fans thought they'd seen her tits. Might have worked a bit better if she hadn't still been quite young and pert, however. I don't think I'd mind too much if someone on here posted a picture of their monster dong on Mumsnet and pretended it was from me. Hint hint.
  6. I clearly don't get fashion. Considering he's presumably wearing a suit under his winter jacket, I'm not seeing what the complaint is. The only difference I'm seeing is that Pelosi and Warren wore bright colours, but still had winter jackets on. Not like they put on their best cocktail dress while the auld codger rocked up in his jobby catchers and dirty old Green Flash trainers.
  7. Are there really folk complaining about an elderly man wrapping up warm during an outdoor winter event?
  8. I genuinely thought there must be something called a "donderly light" when I was a wean. National anthems are generally shit. We should nick Ghost Town off the Irish.
  9. There's an example at roughly 3:40 in this video. Just imagine that, but for every phone call you receive for the rest of the game Although this guy seems to have managed to get a call from everyone in the game at once!
  10. Aye, my boy seems to be alright on all that. I'm willing to take offers for presidential pardons now, if anyone's interested. We'll start the auction at five green dots and go from there.
  11. Yeah, it's more interesting than "go here and shoot everyone". Just a shame that there's a bug during it that ruins any future phone calls. I think maybe there's some kind of box that creates a duplicate of a character when they're on a call with you - I know it doesn't teleport the game world character, as I once finished a mission right in front of a fixer, and they called me while I was talking to them in person, so there were two of them. I think Delamain doesn't get scrubbed from the phone call room at some point, so he's always there, looming over the person you're calling. Pretty amusing. Apparently it sometimes takes away the ability to answer calls too, which isn't quite so funny.
  12. GLaDOS pops up. And by pops up, I mean that they re-used a load of Portal voice files for one character. Yes, one of them is about cake.
  13. Great timing, as I have an embarrassing confession. I just discovered one of those ridiculously long old man hairs sprouting from my earlobe, went to clip it off with a pair of nail scissors, and managed to sink the blades deep into my yielding flesh. So, apparently I have regressed by forty years and should no longer be trusted with anything other than safety scissors. Also, was it @Hedgecutter who was worried about doing spontaneous daft things without meaning to a few pages back? When I was a teenager, I kept getting the feeling that I was going to skelp a passer-by without consciously thinking about it. It never actually happened, but a couple of times I had to divert my arm in motion, as it had started moving towards some poor b*****d without my permission. Genuinely worrying for a while.
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