SEETHING

It's a diddy competition anyway tbf.

You can BET YOUR BOOTS that I will return to this LEAGUE GAMES thread after the Champions-Elect's next league fixture.

Raging mon eh berrz

Did we?! Who?

I tell ya hwhat, it really exposes the emptiness that comes from supporting Celtic when you're absolutely seething beyond belief at the direction your team's going when you might miss out on your first domestic trophy in several years, after winning all the rest. Shame.

Hearts 3 - 0 Alloa In my QUIETER MOMENTS I often reflect upon the ABSURDITY of the universe, and nowhere else is said absurdity more apparent than the fact that Alloa Athletic are supposed to be in the same LEAGUE as Heart of Midlothian FC. A CRUSHING VICTORY for the champions-elect, who could easily afford to miss two penalties in an admirable show of MERCY towards the no-voting Hawaiian select. I'm not even bothering to keep track of who's next on the CHOPPING BLOCK, but I foresee another easy three points in whatever fixture is next in this ABSURD wee league.

I am a REASONABLE MAN and believe in giving credit where it is due. With that in mind, congratulations to HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN for surviving the HATCHET MAN TACTICS of a DISGUSTING Dungfermline side determined to kick and MAIM the cultured Gorgie Globetrotters. The result is IMMATERIAL in the grand scheme of things; a mere PEBBLE under the TANK TREADS of the Hearts Juggernaut. Onwards and most certainly UPWARDS. 😎

An extremely boring documentary that stinks of that big bald son of a bitch Ann Budge playing her "creative control" card. You'd barely know that Hearts absolutely stank up the league last season thanks to Craig Levein and his goons (albeit we would definitely have stayed up if the season had been played to a fair conclusion). Interviewing the cretins who do the wee signing videos for Twitter and oversee the hospitality. Had hoped for Sunderland Til I Die-esque hilarity, but the only thing I'm taking away so far is that Andy Irving has a lazy eye. e: although fair play to Budge for insisting that St Mirren 1 - 0 Hearts was left on the cutting room floor.

Is...is that a ball gag necklace?

Muirhouse is AKIN TO ST TROPEZ compared to the FIFE FAVELA that is Dungfermline, imo.

Hearts 2 - 1 Inverness Caley Thistle Yet another CAKEWALK in this pub league for the 2020-2021 Champions, and an unbeaten season now seems ALL BUT INEVITABLE. I note with DERISION that Dungfermline are next on the chopping block, and one almost hopes that Hearts decide to show mercy for the sake of those already living INTOLERABLE FIFE LIVES.

Craig Wighton rose like Marius Zaliukas in his prime.

Arbroath 0 - 1 Hearts The silly fish men were ruthlessly SMOKED by the day-trippers from our nation's capital. It was WIGHT SUPREMACY that made the difference at Gayfield, as Derek "gosh it disturbs me to see you" Gaston was made to look like a PRIME RUBE by a DELICIOUS lob from what must have been forty yards. The juggernaut rolls on.