Rizzo

Taken just after she'd let rip with an eye-watering fart.

Can folk stop fucking mentioning Monkey Tennis! He'll come back, post something, someone will quote it and we'll all end up having to read it.

Coca cola, McCoy hot chilli and a Fry's cream (Orange preferably but peppermint is also acceptable).

Wee Jake trying his best not to look too shagged out after a walk round the park. He did manage up Dumyat the other week so not bad going given he's 15 in August.

How in the hell did I manage to miss this?! "Do you really think the cops are that stupid?" .... "Yes."

Would probably do more of a job that half the duds we had last year.

Skye somehow managed to catch a rabbit last night, f**king mortified. To her credit she dropped it when I started yelling at her. The rabbit then got up and ran away, might have been a particularly stupid rabbit given Skye is close to 11yo.

My partner was driving us to Glasgow last night and we were stuck in traffic coming off the M74 going to Hamden. It was very stop-start and he comes out with. "I wish cars had some sort of cruise control that kept them hovering in the same place." Wasn't amused when I pointed out that the car was indeed equipped with a handbrake.

Was either a sheep or the farmer, can't recall which.

That sounds awful, poor boy. How old was he out of interest?

That's a nasty looking SDD the cock on the far right has.

Aye ok th.... wait a minute!

So sorry to hear about your old guy, such a stunning boy and it must have been horrific to have him go downhill so quickly. [emoji22]

Skye loves a bit of lamb/mutton. We visited an abattoir when we were on Mull and came back with several sheep skeletons in a bin bag for her.

That's the one. Had planned to do Cleugh from there but it started raining when we got to the top of Ben Ever so decided just to head back.

Snap with the livestock harassment over the weekend (though we were in the Ochils).

Falkirk about to declare but it's another SNP highest %. Not sure what the spread of votes is going to be like though.

SNP doing well in Falkirk based on ballot sampling.

FIFY Though frankly I reckon I'm safe as I only took one or two bites, also I'm not convinced it will even make it to my rear end. Reckon it's more likely to get stuck somewhere and I'll have to have it surgically removed which should get me a few days off work so it's all good.

4 folk ordered it but no one paid for it in the end.

Falkirk golf club, not somewhere I'd ever go for a meal but was the choice of the birthday lad (his fish and chips looked alright tbf).

Reckon it had been cooked previously and re-heated as some of it was cold.

Was out for a meal with family, ordered Mediterranean pasta from the menu and was served this utter monstrosity. I didn't think it was even possible to f**k up pasta to this extent. The shapes were penne (at some point in their existance anyway). I mean... fucking hell.

Needs to be kitted out with a small hood and spear imo.

That's not a video.