the_bully_wee

Fat

How the f**k can she say "I can still remember the 1st day we met ... and had a wee catch up"?! How can you "catch up" with someone you've just met!

Saw Raymond from River City in St Andrews today

Follow, follow.... ... they will follow Gretna

I don't like you.

Was doing my papers a few weeks back when the largest bee I have ever cast my eyes upon hovered a few feet in front of my face. With a paper, which was conveniently rolled up and ready to deliver, I whacked the massive f*cker and, instantly stunned, it travelled in a large arc, landing about 10 yards away. I walked forth to investigate the condition of my victim and, seeing no movement, trampled on him to make sure of his death. I felt proud in the knowledge I had helped the cause and partly avenged the bee-sting-based turmoil dundeebarry unfortunately experienced prior to our bold uprising. However, as I walked up the shared driveway of the houses two gates down I was not expecting what I was about to see. Not one, not two, but three bees were flying in a uniformed line into the side of this house. As I got closer I heard very loud, distinct buzzing. A nest. A f*cking nest. I delivered the two tabloids and fled the scene as hastily as my legs would carry me, and only now have I been able to pluck up the courage to post this. A haunting experience indeed.

You could've asked her out, with minimal expectations of her accepting. Either she rejects you, thus leaving an easy opening to walk away, or she says yes, netting you a date with a stunning woman, and also an opportunity to change the subject. Win/win.

It has probably been mentioned many, many times before, but the worst for me has to be working/being stuck with someone you absolutely hate for an extended period of time. It's even worse if they don't know that you hate them. The small talk is just excruciating

Kopparberg Mixed Fruits

Red dotted due to bitter jealousy In all seriousness, well done mate, spend it wisely!

Rangers :lol: :lol: Was asking how all of my Rangers-supporting mates felt, and they were raging

£5 single on Germany earlier at 11/10. Will be putting the winnings back into various other bets throughout the tournament for a bit of fun

Who the f**k voted for prawn cocktail?! Is this a pisstake?!

Pumped and dumped imo. Unfortunate. Edit: you could send your story to Dear Deirdre, she's normally good with this sort of thing

I knew I should've had this copyrighted!

Just watched this as it sounded interesting and thoroughly enjoyed it. I was almost crying at a few parts along with the characters but managed to compose myself. Great storyline, a film which portrays very well the feelings of everyone involved. I think Clive Owen's especially brilliant in it, but all the characters and actors who played them are fantastic. I'd give it a 9/10.

I think the message meant to say "a site very, very well-known to distribute shite"

Team: Rangers There's only one c**t in this conversation (you)

Shaved? And you're 27?

Mon then square jiggy.

My mate went a while back and took 3 point-blank hits on the same bit of the inside of his thigh, it looked absolutely excruciating and was pretty off-putting. I've not actually been paintballing, but I plan to go ASAP! My other mate rammed into the back of me at go-karting and gave me a bloody agonisingly sore neck, it was a yellow flag and he, being the idiot that he is, didn't notice it and beasted it down a ramp at full speed, careering into the back of me

She is absolutely dreamy. I've had a minor obsession with her for a good while now.

Aye, fair play, I was just being sarcastic! I'd personally still regard it as more of an activity though, because, as you said, it's not done competitively in this country. It's debatable though, much like darts. I wouldn't say it's extreme to be fair. Maybe bollock-naked paintball, but not regular paintball

And feather tickling.