Coventry Saint

It isn't, though - we've tasted actual success in recent years so have no real need to compare ourselves to you. (I will admit, however, that your continued failure to beat us head-to-head has provided a gloss to an otherwise gash season.) It's Morton fans who have been obsessed with the (one point) 'gap' this season. You have no need to be gutted for us. You concentrate on celebrating your 'superb' ( ) fifth place.

You were the one who described your one-point advantage over us as 'superb'. Your friend dYb described it as 'glorious'. Finishing ahead of us in the league is clearly the pinnacle for Morton. You'd give both of your tiny, tiny bollocks to experience a fraction of the success that even we, basically a fairly shit side, have experienced in the last 35 years. Oh, and trying to use our superior budget and better recent standing as a stick to beat us with?! Smooth. All you've done is draw attention to our long-standing superiority. That superiority remains today, despite you managing to scrape an extra draw than we did this year. That superiority remains despite you desperately trying to pretend that we haven't been lording it over from a considerably higher league position than you for almost two decades, prior to this season. To be honest, our superiority has been so ingrained that taking the piss out of you became passé. I wish we'd stuck with it because you've clearly allowed one extra draw accrued over a season to make you forget your true station in life as St Mirren's eternal bitches.

^^^ Falling back on personal insults, hackneyed memes and his favourite 'back in your box' slogan when his wit predictably falls short yet again. I would say I thought you were better than that, but I really, really didn't. I wish my expectations were as low as yours; that way I might think we'd had a 'superb' season as well. I guess that's what years of sustained inferiority has done for you.

I had no idea Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf was a Morton fan. Nice to meet you mate.

Morton actually had the chance to go 15 points clear of us at one point. All they had to do was beat our worst ever side.

I can't deny that you drew one more game than us this season and dragged yourselves to an impressive (for you) fifth place. However, as has been discussed at length, I can't accept that you are our betters until you've managed 18 unbroken years of league superiority in my lifetime. The fact that your idea of a 'superb' (your word) season is one point better than our idea of 'one of our worst seasons in living memory', underlines exactly how small-time Morton really are. Or, unfair as this is, I could point to people in the past couple of pages here reminiscing about the halcyon days of a third place finish 20 fucking years ago But you're right, you did draw one more game than us this season. Well done.

'Betters', indeed. I'm glad your sense of irony remains as acute as ever.

Lacks the form or pedigree, IMO.

Saw the news about Tom McB on B&W Army. Very sorry to hear that, he always came across as a good guy. RIP Tom.

Kenny McLean had six months left on his contract; John McGinn was a free agent. Those who know think Mallan could be better than both of those, and he has two years to run. A ten-goal midfielder (albeit in a shit league) and free-kick specialist who has only just turned 20: I'd like to think he'd cost any buyer a bit more than we managed to sell those two future internationals for. You're right, though: we do have a history of apparently bartering our players' values down somewhat.

He's contracted til summer 2018. How much money do you have?

Just popped in to say good luck with the run-in. It would be magnificent if you could win it. Awra best, etc.

Paul McMullan, eh? There's a player in there somewhere - if you find him, you've made a good signing. I actually suspect he might be the type of player to improve as the weather gets better. If he plays for you like he played for us, I think we'll be quite happy. Nap to score against us, of course.

Holding midfielders really are few and far between. I dunno if it's because every kid who comes throughout fancies themselves as a number 10, but they are hard to find. We have only had Goodwin playing the role for years now, and we were short whenever he moved to centre back.

IIRC, there was definitely some consternation amongst our fans that he'd not signed for us, after looking promising in the trial (chances of finding anyone else who'd admit that, mind, are slim). Yet another talented waster ends up on the footballing scrapheap. Makes me sick when you think of the number of guys who have talent that most of us can only dream of having, who just haven't got the mentality to cut it. Especially when clubs like ours (especially Saints) see so many jobbing journeymen pulling on the shirt. Callum Ball was a great recent example for us. Genuinely talented, outstanding finisher, but a fat useless fucker. If you can't even get yourself in shape, then frankly you deserve to end up in the non-pro game at Corby Town.

Harkins didn't get mentioned, sadly. His lack of tracking back means he's basically dead to me.

Had the pleasure of meeting a gentleman very closely connected with DFC at the weekend. Lovely bloke, and we had a very long chat about our teams' relative recent (mis)fortunes, with particular focus on the McGinn bros and Gowser. Anyway, it's funny how, when you put aside the internet bullshit and WUMs, you meet genuinely good guys in real life and they help you realise that, outside the ugly sisters, most Scottish football fans have a huge amount in common. Good luck for the season.

I liked this: Yes, no club in the world can rival being nearly three years old.

Commiserations for Saturday. Winning goal must have been crushing. The worst thing that can happen is for your team to give you hope, then chuck it away - and your equaliser against ten men was, for me, reminiscent of the dead club going down to 9 men against us in the LC final in 2010. As soon as you dare to believe, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of heartache. It'll be no consolation whatsoever to have me, some twat on the internet, saying that it was a real achievement to reach the final, but it really was. Great performance. Bring on next season.

Just seen your new strips for the first time. Very decent: I'm impressed. After our horror show this year, simple is definitely the way forward.

Gowser was poor for us last season, too, and you guys seem happy with him (though I know he came on a free). McGinn is much younger and would have decent resale value. McGinn is a talented young lad playing in one of the worst teams the top flight has seen. He is still the same guy who bossed Wanyama at Hampden. I think he could get a game at Celtic still: maybe two years at Dees with his family would be the right stepping stone.

Odds of you lot signing John McGinn this summer? I wouldn't turn that down if I was him (playing with two brothers would be great, and a hell of a story): I guess the only stumbling block might be the development fee.

At least he's not signed for either half of the New Old Firm. This is hard enough to take as it is without him pitching up at Sevco.

Now he's eligible for selection, you mean?

Fuxake. Genuinely gutted: thought he'd stop til the summer at least. Massive boost for Ross County and Motherwell. It's almost as if they've signed him too. If Aberdeen beat Celtic to the title and we still stay up, it'll take the edge off a little. Gutted though.