A mass stampede crushing thousands as fans of The Rangers try to con their way in with fake tickets poorly made in Microsoft Paint.
A few dozen pitch invaders to seriously injure themselves on the lethal Rugby Park pitch that assaulted Jamie Murphy.
The new disabled supporters shelter to successfully support some 200 clinically obese knuckledraggers performing "The Bouncy Bouncy", thanks to its new titanium-reinforced roof.
The fans of the "Everyone Anyone" club to trot out all sorts of sectarian bile.
Alfredo Morelos to finally get booked for his seventh offence of the game, when he Eric Cantona kung-fu kicks a 9 year old for calling him a nasty name.
The match and its fallout to generate no less than 3 very serious statements from Jim Traynor.