I assume the author is also female ??
She should have said the plant was abducted whilst she was out at the local tapas bar. She'd have been given full government protection and been given substantial monies donated from the great british public. Her neighbour Jane knows that she's a killer, but, without credible witnesses, cannot prove it. Our author then walks away unscathed.
Or she should nip round and kick Jane in the pie for being a cow.