Feeling the exact same myself. Quite enjoyed the lockdown myself at first as it was an excuse to blast through a lot of stuff and generally have some time to myself but finding it a struggle and have this fucking weird anxiety about things returning to 'normal' even if I am looking forward to being able to go back to the pub and having the fitba back etc. I hope you're figuring things out and losing some of that anxiety but you're definitely not the only one.
Usually try to avoid writing about this or reading the thread in general as I find it can lead to me spiralling or dwelling on things I don't want to. I've just felt this constant malaise for the last few months and lockdown ending is just gonna lead to it being worse, I think. I love Glasgow for a lot of reasons and feel like it's my home but I've seen most of the people close to me move away or drift apart which has led to a constant feeling of loneliness that I can't seem to shake. I've found myself relying heavily on my cousin and a couple of mates who have recently had children or have their own struggles which leaves them absent for long stretches which means they aren't readily available which leads to me feeling even more like a burden on their time.
I guess I'm just not really sure of the solution or if I am then I'm not sure how much time and effort it's going to take. I've been applying for jobs down south where I know a few people and feel that the 'fresh start' will be mentally good for me but every time I engage with the job market I just become more aware of how saturated it is and is going to be with the effects of covid hitting. I've been far luckier than most in that I've landed a decent entry level civil service job so I don't have to worry about providing for myself.
There's people I chat to occasionally on social media that I want to reach out to but there's always something stopping me cause even though we live in an online society it still feels weird to ask someone you speak to online if they fancy a pint. Very strange. As sad as it is, P&B has been a godsend over lockdown. Enjoy chatting shite to the biys on here.
There's just a confluence of factors that are hitting me hard atm. I've lost some friends I was close to and can't see others anymore due to geography. I'm not really enjoying myself or feel as comfortable as I used to in a city I consider my home. Lockdown has brought a lot of stuff into sharper relief that I was aware of but had avoided confronting and I don't know where I'm going or what I want to do. Last December's election has also hit hard and reinforced a lot of inherent pessimism I have about things getting better. I've tried getting back involved in politics around independence and am already bummed out.
Tl;dr/ to summarise the rambles. I'm at a loose end atm and I'm unsure where to go or how to resolve it. I'm also definitely underplaying how shite I've been feeling recently.