The Mantis

Shockeroonie where you getting the fixtures Craig?

I love Talisker although don’t expect to take any pics on the tour as they’re Diageo owned, hence awkward barstewards. My advice is get the standard 10y.o. on the tour, then go and have lunch at the Carbost Inn and try a couple of the better Taliskers on the gantry (if you can afford it ). Get the wife to drive or book a room.

An office manager had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill… He thought he’d fire the employee who came late to work. The next morning, both employees came to work very early. So the manager thought he would fire the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break – strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he’d wait to see who would leave work the earliest, but both employees worked on. Jill finally went to the coat rack and the manager went up to her and said, “Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don’t know whether to lay you or Jack off.” Jill said, “Well, you’d better jack off, because I’m late for my bus.”

The last royal wedding, Took my day off and went up to Corrour on the train. The place in Trainspotting. Stayed from Friday to Monday and missed the whole fucking lot.

This old guy sitting on a park bench. Opposite him is a young guy with a full Mohican, red, green, blue, yellow. Eventually the young guy goes, “hey, stop staring at me you old c**t!” “Oh sorry pal. 16 years ago I shagged a parrot. I was just wondering if I was your dad”.

Just looked this up out of curiosity and it was 5500 which is pretty decent, especially as the away stand only had a few dozen and apparently we had to allocate them the whole stand.

31/10/2012. League Cup round 4. Rangers 0 ICT 3.

Whitehill have been to Wick twice in the past 3 years. Wick have a decent support. The gate was 400-500 both times I think and only a busload of away fans. We got half the gate at £8 a pop for adults. The SFA pays £400 if your journey is over 100 miles. The penalties for cards have been scrapped. You also get appearance money which this season is £2000 for round 1 alone. Also we got drawn away at Nairn this season. The SFA made it the featured tie so they paid the whole of the supporters’ bus which was £700 on top of the £400 towards the team bus. We got to pose with the cup and the cup was out in front on a pedestal when the players entered the field. Even though the gate was only about 300 that was over £900 for us.

When you getting the suit on? The people of Rosewell can't wait.

Easy! Easy!

Ah. It’s Rothesay.

I must have missed this bit. Any details?

It's Xmas, can't beat a game of Pass the Parcel

Nah, it's a lot more complicated than that Firstly, 2 can go down, if SPFL Team 42 comes down to the LL and the HL champions go up. Secondly, it's even less fair that effectively there's only 1/4 of a promotion place up from the LL to the SPFL. The LL is only in its second season of 16 teams. Unlike the Juniors where the SJFA controls all the divisions of what is one league, the pyramid leagues are all independent with their own boards and sponsors etc. So the only way you fix promotion spots is by negotiation. At the moment the playoffs between the SoS and EoS represent how strong a bargaining position these leagues have, i.e. not very. If there were a few top Juniors in the LL, the LL would have a stronger bargaining position. At the moment, only Shire have come down and they could be joined by Cowdenbeath, but there's a real possibility that Edinburgh City could go down and we're back to square 1.

I know a few Everton fans were a trifle miffed that Rangers took Steven & Stevens at a time when English clubs couldn't get European football. Also Rangers were supposed to be the richest club in the UK at the time.

Yeah, I thought sand ones were no longer made but they are. Water based ones seem to be used at the elite levels though. We had a sales presentation last year and they never even mentioned sand.

^^^^^^^ thread in danger of turning into ‘Four Yorkshiremen ‘

Errr.... because they’re different hockey pitches are water based so there’s no bounce.

Yes we got in one side of the bar last week, the bit nearest the dressing rooms.

Wow. Makes me realise I sort of have a life... had the Brazil 1970 side though.

Here’s a celluloid team but there were cardboard ones before that.

Being an old c**t I can tell you that these 3D plastic figures were known as ‘Continental’. They were the very latest and cost a bit extra. My first set was about 1970 and the players were flat sort of celluloid things. You had to glue them into a slot on the base.

That’s never Rab’s work. Where are the 5 European Cups?