McMuffin

Vigurs staying? Fucking hope so

If you don't like it, f**k off.

Me too

Fresher's flu. My candle is well and truely burnt.

I did ask you to be gentle.

f**k this.

What's this gadge Cilic's fitness like?

Much obliged.

Is that GMT or US time? I'm going to try and find a stream but I'm knackered, if it's US time I'll go for a sleep.

I've got Chemistry at B so that must be minimum, but I don't think that was a factor. Long as you've got a 2:1 in a related subject, experience in a related field (I've worked in a care home but even shadowing a GP for a day, volunteering in a hospice or a job as a hospital porter and such like) and can show them that you're committed and pass the interviews. You'll need a fucking belter of a personal statement, I was told by a few careers folk and a couple of doctors that mine was a topper. And also you need to be quite handsome. Naturally.

Where all the cool kids are.

Tactical spew ahoy

Pharmacy students are, to a man, utter wankers. That's my personal experience of them.

I hate after timing, but I'm extremely pleased with my extremely lucky tenner on the ****, Cardiff, Spurs and Chelsea. It's not often late goals go your way. £90 back. Makes up for an embarrassing tenner lost yesterday.

Why, who did you want covering it?

Replace with vodka. Sorted.

I'm about to head over to the flat where I slept last night to try and piece together what happened beyond about 1 o'clock. The fear has gripped me, I'll probably find out I tried to take someone up the arse. Dreading seeing this bit of fluff incase I did something horrendous. Like try and shag her. That would have been embarrassing. Here's a picture of a monkey being sick to cheer you and me up.

Thanks chaps. I've missed you too.

There's the fear. I've been expecting it. Still got about a 4 hour gap in my memory from last night, and I have a horrific hangover. Absolutely horrific.

f**k me I'm rough. Again. Last thing I remember is winching some Irish lassie in Dundee Union, woke up in her bed fully clothed, one contact lens in, no sign of her. I love Dundee.

f**k me I am rough.

Dundee. Medicine.

Rough. Oh my god the roughness.

Rough as f**k, and I've absolutely got to spend the day in the library because my last ever uni exam in Glasgow is tomorrow. Going to be a 2am job I think, and I've got a splitting headache. At least The Sunshine Underground were good last night, if the gig was shite I'd be raging that I wasted a night of uni work for it.

I have got a massive hangover. Another day's studying down the shitter. On the plus side I just did a massive shit, looked at it and thought to myself "That's impressive, well done sir."