11thHour

Mission impossible: Fallout - 8.5/10. Love the MI series and thought this looked great but it was way better than I could have thought. Really enjoyed it.

Went to the docs today for an unrelated visit but when I was there decided to ask him about referring me to speak to someone. My anxiety is getting barely manageable nowadays and I just want to see what I can do before I have any sort of meltdown. I still cling to the hope that one day I'll be as anxiety/depression free as a person can be so here's hoping with a few years of good advice, good mental health practices and my tablets etc. all working together I'll be back to the old me. My only fear is if I go to regular sessions and they are during office hours I'll have to tell my work about it to make sure they are ok with the time off. As im a contractor I'm worried that this might make my position untenable but we shall see. Might end up just paying for it myself so I can decide when and where but there's no real decent professionals local.

Fratelli's - Only album that I fully like is Costello Music. Priestess - Hello Master is an absolute stormer of an album but their second offering was awful and as far as I know they're no longer together. Seether - Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces. Rest is w**k. Wolfmother - Self titled is a class album but the rest didn't do anything for me. Decent songs here and there but on the whole nah. Does that count? Guns 'n' Roses - Appetite for Destruction is one of the best albums ever made and again they have other singular songs that will live forever but more than one full album that I love? Nope. Linkin Park - Hybrid Thoery - Don't like any other albums apart from this The Darkness - Again, Permission to Land is amazing and I love other singular songs but full albums aren't any good. Am I doing this right? could go on forever about this type of feeling. Lily Allen - First album is decent, rest is gash.

Megadeth

If she goes to bed before me she always shoots upright in bed asking who the f**k I am when I get into bed. She sometimes honks in her sleep. That's right.

Gin is fucking boggin' and this sudden trendiness of it annoys the life out of me.

Deadpool - 8/10. A re-watch cause there is no decent films on Netflix that I haven't seen. Typically brilliant viewing. Morena Baccarin

Oh look its Lambert & Butler Shut up Boabie, you're the only fag in here. Get that music turnt doon. Listen up everybody! There's a money lender in town! *whistles* woooww woooww woooww

Dirty b*****d Dirty, stinkin' b*****d Dirty, low-order stinkin' b*****d Dirty, low-order, hoachin', stinkin' b*****d ........b*****d Aye he's a b*****d!

I absolutely love the movie. Seen it countless times. I'd definitely be interested in a TV adaptation.

Whiplash - 7/10. Can see why JK Simmons won the Oscar, he was amazing throughout. Film as a whole was a bit meh however.

Pretty much in this exact same boat myself. Went to the doctor yesterday for an unrelated issue and asked how long I had been on 20mg of Citalopram and he said it was coming up for 4 years. I had always thought that I would eventually end up off of them but im starting to think this wont be the case. Had discussed with him possibly upping it to 30mg as lately I've just been an incredibly irritable c**t, as soon as I wake up I just know that im in a bad mood and its really starting to affect things. However the Doc said that it would appear that I'm still doing ok on the 20mg and to look for things to alleviate stress etc. as I still haven't pinpointed an effective way of releasing stress/anxiety for myself personally. Got into a slight chat about it with a colleague who I am comfortable with and he jokingly suggested possibly im just a crabbit b*****d but apart from the past few years I've always been a laid back enjoyable person. Still, we crack on.

Annihilation - 6.5/10. Not sure about this one, it had some great moments in it and visually was stunning but the story never really made much sense to me and also dragged in parts.

Been really struggling with my anxiety lately. I'm worrying about worrying, as my main train of thought is that my anxiety might hold me back from being able to handle a considerable work load at work. Currently it is very manageable and the atmosphere is easy going but I fear that I might get asked to do more, cant handle it and have a massive freak out. Started having panic attacks in my sleep again also, they're not incredibly stressing just very annoying. Its that jolt you get like you're falling in a dream? I don't wake up hyperventilating or sweating or anything like that but my mind is racing. I'm still on 20mg of Citalopram and my mum wants me to talk to the doctor about upping it but I would rather just try the more standard practices of eating better, exercising, actually reading my CBT book, quit smoking and drinking etc. But this is all easier said than done. To touch base on the Sertraline topic, the doctor prescribed me 50mg of that when I said that my depression had sort of made way for anxiety and after taking one I was not willing to take any more. I was absolutely manic during the night and was having suicidal thoughts etc. and I'll never touch them again. Everyone is different but it wasn't as easy going as the Citalopram is for me.

Tremonti in June. Cant wait.

When you apologise for nearly bumping into someone and they were the reason why and they tut and say "oh its ok". Aye I know its ok ya fucking dick it was your fault!

Aye I thought the death of Littlefinger was weak as f**k as well. Also there wasn't any real conversation about why he did the things he did, as in what was his actual plan. I know he wanted to end up with the iron throne but I still feel it wasn't explained brilliantly for such an important character.

I think this is the problem. I'm over thinking about possibly have a panic attack because I'm on the motorway which makes me nervous and then I'm on edge. Oddly enough I find it less of a problem the bigger/better car I might be driving but I absolutely hate driving the mrs' corsa at any decent speed on the motorway. Maybe that's part of the problem also - don't feel as safe in that car, worried about having a panic attack, the increased potential of my mind wandering etc. Etc. Just a real pain because I don't want my mrs having to do all the driving should we be going on a road trip, doesn't exactly make me feel like the man of the house

Starting to really struggle with my anxiety. I seem to be pretty much fine for 2-3 weeks then i'll just take a mini panic attack and I'm back to square one. Yesterday I was driving home on the motorway and I felt an intense panic wash over me and I really thought I was going to lose control of the car. Seems to happen a lot when I'm driving but only on the motorway, never when I'm just driving about. Never been in or been close to being in a car crash in my life so its incredibly frustrating and worrying.

Life - 3/10. Shite.

Die Hard Die Hard 3 Die Hard 4 Saving Private Ryan Friday The Rock Braveheart Pulp Fiction The Shawshank Redemption Mission Impossible The Departed Goodfellas Aladdin Gladiator The Matrix

Filth - 8/10. Absolutely brilliant.

Interstellar. I cant rate it because my minds still trying to comprehend what the hell I just watched.

Watching the chase and the question was "the adjective volatile comes from the Latin word meaning what?" With the possible answers being either Loving, Flying or Squeaking. I said Flying and the missus said "aye cause projectile means like flying. Like projectile vomiting" "Aye but the words volatile" "Aye projectile *does projectile vomiting motion* projectile flying" "Aye....but the words volatile..." "Aaaayyye project...wait..oh" Total cranial meltdown. Can't even understand English.

Girl on the Train - 7/10. Decent watch this. Was hoping for a bit better but it was still pretty decent. Emily Blunt was great throughout. Expected a twist but didn't expect it to go the way it went. Jack Reacher 2 - 3/10. Teenager was annoying, Cruise looked out of sorts, shot choice was confusing. Terrible.