BREAKING NEWS!
The careers of some of Scotland's most attention seekingsports journalists hangs in the balance this week due to the Rangers crisis.Hugh Keevins, Jim Traynor and Graham Spiers have realised this week that theirscaremongering pish in relation to the Rangers Crisis is about to be found out.Apparently all the diddy clubs have not caved to the fear tactics employed andRangers fans themselves have sussed that they are talking a pile of shite.Speirs, when asked for a comment on his future, instantly threw a thesaurus atthe accusation which Traynor promptly ate. Keevins, fearing the Billy Dodds andCraig Burley spout more credible pish than him, has announced that we are allDOOMED. He has also revealed from an unnamed source who is not linked to anybid for Rangers but who has intimate knowledge of what’s going on and isnae atall actually fucking real, that "scottish football will die if the Record doesn’thave old firm matches to report on".
In reality, Rangerswill no doubt end up in division 3. Hearts will no doubt go into administrationas they have been toying with it for years and Scottish football will move onwith Neil Lennon now becoming the most hated man in Scottish fitbaw now thatLafferty has left. Michael Johnston will still state killie season ticket salesare up some imaginary % figure of some new algebraic number the plebs won’tunderstand.
Oh and Somerset Park will still be falling down.
P.S. WE ARE ALL DOOMED, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO COLLAPSE AND DON'T YOU ALL REALISE THE INTERNET IS BAD AND PAPER SALES ARE DOWN!