Grim O'Grady

awww Swarley that's no nice, it's only 10 month away from "Green Trouser Day", when we will all don our green strides that day, Facebook will be all over this like a rash. #mozzamozzamatters Grimbo

Went off on the sick yesterday, lazy f**k, you just can't get the staff these days, fuckin brexit! Grimbo

only got 4 beers left for the armchair fitbaw the morra but feel a wee bit of man-flu coming on, is it too late to get a sainsbury's carry oot delivery pre-kick off? Grimbo

shame, here's the place... Grimbo

I never knew that about the origins of marmalade? Every day is an educational joy. Grimbo

I reserve the right to remain silent. Grimbo

I reserve the right to remain silent. Droylsden is a shithole. No it doesn't stop raining, people don't believe me when I tell them I moved up here for the weather. Vicky station used to be gorgeous until they annexed it with that monstrous arena & ran the trams through it, wankers. The S&G only opens at weekends, it's a cracking indie music venue. A gem of a place, though it's under threat from the Picc' train station redevelopment, wankers. If you get chance pop in for a pint, it's a real part of Manchester's musical heritage, if you see Andy, tell him I sent you, he'll probably bar you but hey-ho it's something to tell the grandkids eh? Grimbo

you still down in the Manc' Sarge? If you haven't already, take a stroll down Fairfield St, down the side of Piccadilly train Station. I used to frequent the Star & Garter pub on Smiths Nights, I used to get a few offers for business on my way hame, but I was too pished & it was far to late to take any of the lasses hame to sort out my plumbing & besides I doubt they were Corgi registered? Grimbo

the old ones are the best eh, Johnny, still makes me chuckle mind. Grimbo

Should have booked in at the Lowry then Sarge. Grimbo

Are you sure you don't have a diary, Marr? That's awfy listy. How did your presentation go last week? Grimbo

Best bit was when he said he was a c Grimbo

125 next to Russ, is that no the toothless jakey "swing & a miss" man, if so it's big team found? Grimbo

I also think the curmudgeonly barman is a national treasure. I mind when I used to frequent the Cask & Barrel on Broughton Street & Big Mike behind the bar, I think I only managed to get him to smile once, when I tried to pay with euro's. I once went in before a Spartans Cup match wearing a sombrero (don't ask) & he told me to take it off, saying I could have someone's eye out if I turned too fast & one of the wee pompom thingies that dangly down might hit them? Best was when a fellae dressed as a banana came in, the door hadn't even shut when Big Mike gave him the evil eye & just motioned his finger to turn around & go away. Re the restaurant staff being treated like shite, I don't very often go anywhere posh but it's they middle class c***s that moan at the staff, I just hope the staff stick their cocks in the meals before giving them to them. Grimbo

Fiona Beuce's trainers. Lovely dress on & a pair of trainers, ffs. Grimbo

We are not going to Paris, ya 1/2 wit, tsk! Euph? Who wants to ride on the Big One? Are yoo coming Zen? Grimbo

Is Skidders after date-raping me? Cripes. Grimbo

Bring a camcorder & you could be the next Spielberg, NJ? Everyone's a winner. Grimbo

You should see my quick, Bairny, the lasses adore it. Sadly so Sarge, sadly so. Grimbo

what if I promise to be good, I won't frighten the donkeys or owt? Can I have an ice cream, I want a kiss my quick hat, it could become my new lucky hat. Grimbo

I got a job now, 10 hours a week (don't want to over exert myself) but it's paid in Scottish pound notes. I could treat you to fish, chips & mushy peas in Blackpool, they take it there. Grimbo

I've only got Scottish money, looks like your buying, have you cashed your pension this week? Grimbo Thundercunt

the mash tun in ½ an hour ok? Grimbo

You could make it a threesome, Boaby. What high jinks we 3 could get up to? Grimbo

I resemble that remark! Grimbo