Arbroathlegend36-0

Had been suffering from depression for too long without my loved ones, friends or the people who I work with knowing. Was my little secret and everything was a show when around people including my wife. In October I listened to a voice in my head (been in my head for a while) and I was going to hang myself from the upstairs banister. Had everything ready my wife was out with my youngest child and my oldest was at nursery so I knew I had time to do what was needed. What saved me that day was my wife forgot to take bottles for my 5 month child with her. Seen the doctor next day who put me on sertraline. Got told I may get worse before I get better with the tablets as it takes roughly 6 weeks for the meds to take effect. Suicide attempt number 2 took place not long after where I took a lot of pills somehow my Mrs was suspicious on what I was doing so came to check on what I was doing and she stuck her fingers down me throat which got what I took out. Seen a new doctor who I took a liking to and felt I could trust her and could come out of this dark hole with her help. For me I didn’t know why I felt so low, depressed, tired and basically so useless. I’ve got a wife, 2 kids, a house, full time job and no money troubles so for me I had no reason to feel how I was feeling. The doctor said you don’t have to have a reason which is true but for me I needed a reason. I asked for my bloods to be took for an under active thyroid as it was borderline a few years back and this came back as underactive. Levels should be 0.5 to 2.0 mine was over 100. One side effect of an underactive thyroid is depression. Everything started to get normal after getting on the right meds and after 4 months off work I returned to work in January. As people do work mates was curious on why I had so much time off work and if everything was fine. I was open and honest to my work colleagues and told everything what had happened. Unfortunately after 4 days after returning the voice in my head came back and wouldn’t leave me alone and I took a drug overdose while my wife and kids slept. The Mrs found me and was rushed to hospital by ambulance where I had my stomach pumped. The voice in my head failed again and told me better luck next time when trying again. Straight away I had the mental health team come and see me in hospital and for a month after my release from hospital. They helped me with routines and things I can do if I ever got back to the dark place which has really helped me. Mrs never fully understood how I could do this especially with having such young children. My children was my motivation to get past this darkness. Walking my daughter down the aisle or seeing my son getting married had always been on my mind and motivation on why I needed to keep going in life. When the voices came into my head them things didn’t matter to me and i was totally numb to it all and I was fine about killing myself and the kids not having a father in both of their life’s. The motivation for me now is still my kids but I’m not thinking about the future and them possibly getting married. They need me in their life’s right now whether that’s playing Barbie’s with my daughter and watching frozen for the millionth time or changing my 9 month old son’s backside while he’s smiling at me. They both need a daddy figure now and forever and I’m no use to them dead. Been back at work for 3 weeks where I’ve told people the story of what’s happened. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of what I’ve done as I was down a very deep hole and I couldn’t see a way out and the voices in my head told me it was ok to do what I was doing. Luckily I’ve not had any voices since January and I’m on the road to recovery. Take every day as it comes while keeping a positive mindset. Still got a long road ahead of me but I’m feeling good about myself. Also getting tested for autism/ADHD. Unfortunately I’ve got to be 3 months stable before I get a diagnosis but spoke to a specialist who is leaning towards Autism but won’t know until May time when I get my full assessment done. Depression is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. The hardest part is opening up and admitting it to people about it. Once you’ve done that then get the help and support you need to get you through it. Sorry for rambling on although if one person reads this and feels the same as I have done and makes them want to get the help then thats all that matters.

You have 4 solo shots and 2 deadly duos

Hollywood actor Christian Oliver who sadly died with his 2 young daughters yesterday. The plane looked cool though https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12930491/amp/Actor-Christian-Oliver-dead-plane-crash-Caribbean.html

I would think that’ll be 2 hits in 2 days for some people. Was on my shortlist but stupidity left him out for someone else, school boy error.

The Stranraer and Cowdenbeath games in the play offs were the last games of watching Arbroath before moving down south. Happy memories to leave with both of which a lot of alcohol was involved as you say. One game that I could not remember however with the knowledge you have you will definitely remember. It was either Jim Mercer or John McGlashan scoring from near the halfway line at Gayfield. At the time it was the best goal I’d ever seen so hoping you’ll know the game it’s from. As for coming back up for a match. Think I’ve been up for 3 since leaving in 2008 and don’t think we’ve won one so probably best staying away. Although it would be brilliant to get the ‘gang’ back for 1 match and do hospitality package.

Absolutely fantastic stuff Simon. Few things that brought memories back was my first every away game in the Scottish Cup vs Montrose and we played 2 suspended players won the game 1-0 but had to replay game which ended 0-0 then lost replay at home Colin McDonald scoring a hat trick on his debut on loan halfway into the season. Always remember him because I’m pretty sure he had a ponytail. 4-1 defeat to Spartans 7-2 win over East Stirling where 2 players got themselves hat tricks. 3-1 defeat away to Inverness in 2007 in the Scottish league cup on a Tuesday night. With only being 15 at the time I was the only one from my friends who got permission to go to the match with it being a school night. Pretty sure there was no supporter bus either so had to bag a lift from someone. Home early hours of the morning and in school for 9. And a random 2-1 win away to Stenhousemuir where Kevin Webster scored in the last minute. Previous week myself and a few mates was like who’s the ‘old’ guy because he didn’t have much hair. Soon shut us up as the away fans went nuts I seem to remember.

From what I seen when it happened he turned and just pulled up after starting to run but not seen replay of it. He was out clubbing in Sheffield on Saturday night and was seen by a few fans so hopefully nothing major and just out for a couple of weeks

Apparently a six-figure sum was rejected by Sheffield Wednesday from Hearts on deadline day for Callum Paterson. Trying to tie him down on a new contract. He’s been vital the last couple of months and took his goal well on Saturday.

David Crosby apparently……. https://finance.yahoo.com/news/legendary-musician-husband-father-friend-201500765.html?guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvLnVrLw&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAADYk43pE0Lp7g_ccIkMAhVmCPgdBe6SQhI__CdyEPDbnFYgVExVhAGZ3Sl8e0y7YPs3KBe4q1RZZu4Ahlg9h1N-oFrGy-qvBMJ-G74jvlHc6AmLpQa8qWMjaMxxbo4WptmLXkka978gparRoQbqieeJ4UhzT-bxLUeENuUNx3jir Although not 100% convinced it’s true might be a hoax. Deadly duo if true though. Edit: Confirmed BBC obit

Only checked up on his health about an hour ago and saw a tweet saying he was recovering rapidly. Not complaining points please for my super sub.

Was rather hoping to keep Calum Paterson until the end of the season and still hoping he does stay for the promotion push . Recently he’s been playing well and he’ll be one of those players that the fans will eventually realise when he’s gone that actually he was a useful player for us and his work rate will be missed. Any idea what role he’ll play if he does come back up North?

King Constantine has suffered another stroke and is in hospital. His family have flown to Greece to be by his bedside. https://greekcitytimes.com/2023/01/07/former-king-constantine-icu-stroke/amp/?2023/01/07/former-king-constantine-icu-stroke/

From what the TV Camara was showing this lad will certainly be giving a life time ban and hopefully jail. Tried throwing a punch at 1 Melbourne City player and then throwing the Metal bucket towards the players when Thomas Glover was being escorted off the pitch.

Talking about testimonials was John McAuley the last player to have one before Bobby Linn or has someone escaped my memory? Vaguely remember attending his on a week night must of been near 20 years ago now.

Alex Scott I think is brilliant although the rest are pish. Karen Carney is horrific and should be nowhere near anything to do with the mens game.

Switched over to BT sport to watch the build up of match to find 1 women presenting and 2 women on the panel talking about the womens football. Don’t mind a women presenter as I like Kelly Cates but already wishing they bring back Jake Humphries. But get these women panellist in the bloody bin please. Hope there is no women co commenting otherwise tv will get muted. Also had to laugh at this.

Sky News have ran the story however she wasn’t picked by anyone.

A player that Lee Bullen could be interested in is 19 year old Corey Glaves a CB who can also play as a defensive midfielder. A huge gamble but they both got on with eachother at Sheffield Wednesday youth academy. Was released in June and was linked with Brentford, Hull City and Chelsea however picked up an injury while training with Chelsea which unfortunately stopped the move but he did impress the club.

Game is being played at the same stadium so the 2 nations wouldn’t of had a proper warm up as Mali didn’t leave the pitch until roughly 15:30.

So Mali come out back on to the pitch to restart the match and finish the last 3 minutes of the match with a new referee. Only for Tunisia to refuse to come back on so the game ends for the 3rd time with apparently Mali being awarded the game 1-0. Incredible!

Surprised wasn’t picked by more considering he looked like he was banging on deaths door while on trial last year. Anyways cheers for my points now off you pop to hell.

It could be the case of Bullen settling down in Edinburgh possibly where I’m sure that’s where he goes during the summer time and his wife and the twins come up on the Friday and back down to Sheffield on the Sunday. When you’ve spent 2 decades in one city it’s not easy just to move the whole family somewhere especially when his Mrs has a successful business and the twins will be settled in school with friends and during term time also.

It’s a no from me sorry, but WAWAW

I meant if there was interest in these two players in England ie League 2 side then I would be surprised if the club let them go up to Scotland rather than say a Salford City or a Bradford even if Bullen is new Ayr manager. On the other hand if it was Alex Bonnington who’s another striker at our U23’s then a move to Ayr would be excellent for him to gain first team experience and being in a match day squad every week and working under Lee Bullen would do absolute wonders for the kid. Even though all 3 play for the U23’s they are at different stages of their career and I would feel that Korede Adedoyin especially would benefit more playing in England rather than Scotland.

Confirmed at our end