Thistle_do_nicely

I want more of these, they're like print, retro P&B scottish football themed shitposts from the Before Time/The Long Long Ago.

Lost interest in actually watching wrestling a good few years ago but occasionally found the backstage politicking stuff fascinating. Can mind reading about this a while back - the women were given a mic and free reign to go out and shittalk each other: The rumour was that Carmella was genuinely, utterly despised backstage by the other girls and it ended up boiling over when they were out in the ring. Resulting in this "boy that escalated quickly" exchange on national television. Carmella: "Christy, I hope you win... if I don't, I hope you win." Christy: "Joy - is this the only thing you can do?" "Amy - it looks like you've been sucking on something sour cos your lips look like a fish" "Carmella, you're a cum guzzling gutterslut." So the rest of the stuff is fairly tame, but ooft. They can be pretty savage when they want to be. yeah, there was an email into a general mailbox recently complaining that someone wasn't responding to any of their emails... transpired they'd sent about 4 emails to a misspelled address, something like "stacy_x@x.com" rather than "stacey_x@x.com". Got a response back politely informing them of this and that they might need to keep an eye out in their spam folder or mailbox if something bounces back as undeliverable...

On a happier note - Ronkers by Dizzee Roncal remains one of the best bits of single use poster/one word posting on p&b.

Pretty sure i started using the Overuse Of Thank You At The End Of All Messages thing in work for a while at my last job. Previous manager pulled me up (gently tbf) when i ripped the arse out of it and combined it with Milkygemposting. Something like "Hi X, Yeah, dont worry, i can confirm i ordered in all of the socks on that list you gave me. Many thanks Best wishes Kind regards Thank you" Was just bored at the time iirc, also went through a phase of opening most emails/internal communications with stuff like "Ahoy there me hearties!" Understandably they ended up checking to make sure i wasnt talking like a sea pirate with external suppliers. In hindsight i kinda wished i had, but alas it was just normal, boring, professional pish with them and mental bullshit i hit out with for colleagues purely to amuse myself and see how far i could, to quote another p&b trope, keep pushing. Also liked sneaking the odd STRONGLY ADVISE in from time to time about stock quanitities for emphasis. Ah, p&b. Ye have influenced me so very much through the years.

I never really get tired of the keysey/barclays patter; i know its repetitive, but theres just something about it that warms my cold, dead soul. Working theory is that because its mocking something that is, inherently, ultra repetitive in itself it has a longer shelf life than other patter. Plus as a formula for poking fun at the ridiculous overhyping of it all it just... clicks.

Huh, i genuinely forgot Ben Williamson was on loan from Rangers and thought he was a Thistle Weir graduate til I checked there! Was thinking we'd loan him out to Clyde as he's not quite nailed down a position with us yet. Would personally rather keep McKenzie, his cameo against Ayr was impressive and I rate him, dunno where he's best at but he looked brave at taking people on. Not a right back though.

This actually rings true; cant mind all the ins and outs of it but I vividly mind someone I worked with years ago that split with his partner, who was the one that managed all the household finances. He claimed to have, shortly after they'd agreed to separate, been stopped by the police while out driving and was done for not having any insurance on the car; the gist was that she had cancelled the car insurance policy without telling him... Anyway - this happened not far away from my folks house, effectively got off on a technicality; https://www.helensburghadvertiser.co.uk/news/13976360.killer-to-wed/ 4 - 5 years of jail time served before meeting a new squeeze through online dating. Hm.

Yeah, i thought he looked a bit creaky last season - and does still have the odd anonymous game, albeit a lack of quality service is more the issue there - but when he's fired up he's excellent. I know 4-4-2 isnt all that fashionable anymore but a hypothetical Scott McDonald/Brian Graham partnership could have been amazing 3/4 seasons ago, especially in the 2nd tier. dunno if they'd ever have played together (might have been at Dundee Utd at the same time, think they both played for them at some stage). Both similar nuisance types of forward, but good goalscorers too. Edit: although thinking on it im sure McDonald is a bit older so might have to go back a bit further than 3/4 seasons in fantasy land to get the best out of them

A previous job had the owners son and daughter involved in prominent positions, which was... interesting. They got away with murder but the flip side was that, if you felt like it, you could get away with some of the same pish they did (long lunch breaks, coming in late etc.) and no-one could really pull you up for it. Was kinda nice if, say, i ran 15 minutes late due to traffic not having to worry about it, since the owners daughter would rock up at random times e.g. expected in at, say, 10am, she might be in at anywhere from 10.10am - 11.30am with no explanation given. They were competent, they just blatantly couldnt be arsed and far preferred roping other people into doing their work for them wherever possible so they could happily skive away.

Suspect this is aforementioned middle management w**k's view of what the employee experience should look like.

Think it sums it up that there were 4 goals scored and the penalty was probably the highest quality of the lot. Ref was horrendous. Frustrating that McKenzie came on and had more influence down the left in what little time he had than Williamson for the whole match. Doolan seems to make most subs super late on in games. Milne had an odd one, culpable at the first Ayr equaliser but he grew into the game and ended up bullying Chalmers on and off the ball. Williams was fine at right back but (understandably) cautious, he did try making runs wide right but we were either too ponderous to find him or players didnt want to look for him and he played it pretty safe as the game went on. Good in some ways if he's not comfortable as a right back, but it hamstrings us a bit. Really need McMillan back there as, imo, Lawless was subdued and needs McMillan to combine with to get the best out of both. Didnt feel like a huge amount of time was added on despite multiple stoppages? Doubt we'd have created anything unless it was via McKenzie, but still... Ref booking Stanway right after an Ayr player got away with something similar summed his night up. Actually thought Rose up front had a decent game not super imposing or Akinyemilike, but still put himself about well and generally gave Ayr an outlet, imo he was let down more by not having a good foil as Chalmers in particular was anonymous. All about opinions and tbf I never thought he looked like scoring, but he's not the worst forward I've ever seen. Our track record of making shite strikers look good (Joe Dodoo, Calvin Zola...) may be colouring my judgement tbf. McInroy blew hot and cold but wasnt too bad, did win the ball back confidently several times which is what we're sorely lacking, just that Abdul Osman/Isaac Osbourne type that wins challenges constantly.

First goal is pretty remarkable, letting Sibbald just drift into the space and finish... one for the staff to look at and improve on. Partially wonder if its a lack of height/not trusting Sneddon to command the six yard box so we kind of crowd that area, but theres a couple of thistle players at the edge of the frame who dont seem to be marking anyone... Second is way, way too soft from us. Better hit than i first thought tbf, leaning less to apportioning blame to Sneddon on that angle. Third is a really good cross to the back post. Left at that, nothing on the red card there. Again - incredibly soft from a set piece for Holt to inadvertently bundle in, think we really need to figure out a setup for defending corners. If we're confident on the ball then great, but its just too easy still. Even crowding in front of the keeper doesnt stop us conceding. Penalty just one of them things - hope you appreciate and enjoy Holty while hes at tannadice, love a goalscoring centre half, we dont really have any now (McMillan can bag a few tbf but Milne is out of sorts and Aero's are mainly pens)

● Guess we're going to miss Fitzpatrick & not sure McMillan will be fit, Fitzy i think got his boot caught on the pitch and twisted something. ● this is a bit of a headache; Wes McDonald seems like a "nearly" player, final ball/cross/shot from him hasnt been there so far, guess he might come in but he's not shown he can have the impact an on form Fitzpatrick can. Lawless looked lost at times the day but when he doesnt have McMillan to combine with its understandable. ● whole team werent at it but I thought Milne was very poor today, but we cant realistically drop him, even though he's not back to his best... ngwenya maybe better swapping with him but christ knows what we do at right back unless we fling Zander McKenzie in there, think Williams will have to come in at cb after aero's red card.

Ohhhh boy. Strange first half, Utd gave away possession cheaply multiple times, but we outdone them by being unable to show and composure/control of the ball. First goal was pretty impressive, letting someone have time to control the ball and finish from a corner... Second the keeper got a hand to but a good hit. Third a shitshow, well worked tbf. Left early. Players looked beaten before a ball was even kicked tbh.

Oh this is well worth a watch, kind of NSFW but its fantastic https://youtu.be/wXUaFy5NdK4?si=YTZkeWasCd3HfiT7

Yeah, may well be plagiarised but there was a decent looking woman with something like "Highly proficient in Microsoft Word, Outlook and Excel. Full, valid UK driving licence and access to my own car for commuting". Basically shitposting on her dating profile as if it was linkedin, which tickled me. Never matched with her sadly. Re: earlier dug comments - i technically have two, do i get pumped twice?

Some general thoughts as a bump, only going off personal experience trying out 3 different online dating apps or sites. Different strokes for different folks, but for me (averagey looking mid thirties guy with x0 pictures of me holding exotic animals or skydiving to put on these things) id say: i) Tinder First one I tried out, pretty much to see how these sites work. Gut feeling is that its more of a younger persons app. Have read that once the algorithm decides people dont like you, you barely get seen by other users. Id say avoid paying for it from personal experience unless you're a handsome b*****d like Derry Alli presumably is, or younger. ii) Plenty of Fish Bit better than Tinder but felt like a limited pool, shitton of bots and fake profiles. Can message folk first, had several chats through it. Would say a bit better than tinder but... iii) Bumble Seems to be the best so far, if you're paying id recommend this (probably wouldnt bother for a long subscription, i just paid a week for the premium) The speed dating is great, think if you pay for premium and then use the spotlight (basically pay2win bullshit) you get during the speed dating then you've got a fighting chance at matches, ive got several active conversations going. Would say its the most worthwhile one to go for. Edit: a good thing about the speed dating is that its more or less just a chance to prove you can string a sentence together. Ultimately at the end of it if they dont like your pic they'll go naw, but its a good feature (imo) More generally; i) tiny details matter, i kept my profile the same but read a wee bit, kept the worda the exact same but tidied up the punctuation, sentence casing etc. (E.g "i am become death destroyer of worlds" would just be something like "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds!" ) got a good few more messages just after that. Thats just an illustrative example ii) unfortunately, i still struggle to work out the balance of how to kind of progress things from online chat to a more traditional coffee/lunch/movie/dinner date. Paraphrasing Renton from trainspotting, but come over too keen = women will get defensive quickly. Understandably so, but personally i felt a weird pressure at first that if i didnt immediately ask someone for their number or to meetup, some other Olivier Giroud/Derry Alli looking twat will. Might still be the way it goes but im a bit more relaxed now. However! Come over too passive, and conversations may well hit a dead end. Once someone stops messaging you its nigh on impossible to get them to start again. Ive met up with someone for a coffee and we're still chatting, shes class tbf, but aye. Tl;dr online dating is a tricky place to be, for men and women. Dont look at it as a game, just kinda message/chat/ask folk about themselves, if you hit it off with someone great, if not then fret not.

Erling Haaland looks like a Jakovasaur

Even at that, malfunctioning kit at some point of failure (has happened at least once with goal line tech im sure?) or unscrupulous players/teams cheating to find ways to f**k with it seems likely. Sounds hard to make transparent? You're then having 22 pairs of boots + subs and christ knows how many individual footballs needing trackers, and a way to impartially verify its all functioning correctly right at the point of kick off, which sounds like it'd be a recipe for disaster. Plus some twat would end up using the position of, say, an attackers/defenders left/right boot by mistake for the purpose of offside where its extremely tight. Actually it'd have to factor in where the keeper is and all from those weird stramashes where the keeper is miles off his line at a set piece or something.

Only salvagable thing (that might even still be a complete pile of pish) would be to only bother with any sort of assisted refereeing for major cup finals, as i) theres maybe more of an argument to be made that giving refs help to get their calls correct in a play off/cup final is worth doing, and just accept there'll be more of a margin of error for refereeing in more mundane fixtures ii) at least then theres an element of novelty to it, plus it means you can focus on investing in a quality VAR setup at the national stadium rather than forced, lowest bidder pish across the top flight. Still a necessary evil at clubs in Uefa competitions to have, but so be it.

Voice 001.m4a Brought to you by m night shyamalan

"Newcastle moved to London, where there are no new castles"

Excellent post. Another example springing to mind about other external factors influencing decision making I'd chime in with is "not wanting to spoil an occasion"; its absolutely a real thing. Netherlands vs. Spain world cup (or was it Euros, genuinely cannae mind) was incredible, fair enough Holland got a mad amount of yellow cards and De Jong got a red I think, but iirc they ought to have finished with about 8 players if the ref had been a lot stronger. So Spain being the home team vs. a preconceived notion of Scotland clogging their way to a 0-0 to qualify may well be a factor, yeah.

Cheers, yeh wasnt sure if they charge more as the VAT due is different depending on if you sit in or take away. Might have been confusing myself with regard to that pasty tax debacle a while back.