WaffenThinMint

It would be far more apt it it was by a rabid dog. Pause and wait for Zen Archer or Sergeant Wilson to make some comment about whether a rabid dog can beat someone to death with a rolling pin.

A story to warm the cockles of your hearts this fine Sunday morning. http://www.the-gazette.co.uk/news/15077763.Bouncer_leaves_man_scarred_in_Paisley_night_club_rammy/# Bouncer defends himself against racist drunk resulting in him delivering a series of clear improvements to the rat faced scheme goblin. What is more interesting is what the article was originally saved on the website under & which they weren't allowed in all probability to mention in the finished article. http://www.the-gazette.co.uk/news/15077763.Bouncer_leaves_drug_dealer_scarred_in_night_club_rammy/?ref=mr&lp=4 I see what you did there, Gazette!

Right. So the owners of this Chinese restaurant you work in (is this on top of your job as a taxi driver & all the other jobs you have in San Andreas?) filled with illegal immigrants on hooky jobs aren't at all worried about employing someone like you that is legit, despite the clear danger of potential blackmail or being grassed up to the authorities for the generous bounties US authorities give for tipoffs - especially with Chump & friends in the White House? Steaming Bull Shit (aka a No 37 on the menu.)

For the first time in ten years at my current practice, my dentist didn't give me her annual six month lecture on flossing. Wonder if it has anything to do with this:- http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/08/02/flossing-teeth-does-little-good-and-us-removes-it-from-health-ad/

If you are going to Mull, you should take the time to go over to Iona as well. There's a bit more fun doing so by public transport, as you get to experience the phenomenon of the local highland cattle trolling. Seeing your coach approaching from a distance, they get up from the grass by the roadsides to meander onto the road and casually plank themselves down in an arrangement making it impossible to drive round even if anyone was foolish enough to attempt it. Then it's a matter of sitting back & enjoying your driver slowly lose the plot as his **beep! beep!**s become **BEEEEEEP! FUCKING BEEEEEEEP!** until the cattle - gazing at the bus nonchalantly - get bored with the noise & decide to move aside. Beware of the weather on Iona, literally four seasons every five minutes. Over on the south west tip the weather suddenly turned vile & I was plastered with a mixture of hail & snow saturated with the sea salt that seems thick in the air, before turning back to bright sunshine that baked swiftly what had soaked me through, so I "crunched" my way back to the Argyll (which is okayish, btw). The mainstay of the island is of course the Abbey, & there tends to be a lot of Christian groups over at times along with all manner of wannabe writers on various retreats, but they tend to be harmless enough souls. Arran is nice enough, but there's no way you can really do it justice in just a day. If you decide to do Goatfell, go up the Brodick Castle way - slightly longer but less likely to leave you wishing you were dead (especially on a hot day). If you want something less stenuous, there's always the bus to Sannox in order to climb Glen Minter - just don't fall in the burn. The castle is a pile of steaming shite - manned by atypical National Trust volunteers who treat the place like a giant dolls house & haven't a bollocks about the history (read up for yourself before going to save disappointment) other than what was Lord Hamilton or whoever's favourite tea set. If you go in the summer, all manner of oddities make the local folk festival, including one year two members of The Stranglers doing an acoustic set. One to avoid at all costs is Inchcolm - what a let down. Nothing more than a giant ruin on one side, Hitchcock's The Birds (or rather The Seagulls) on the other, which make even those at Largs look positively tame.

Wid "In ma Da's hoose there's hunners o' big hooses: un still there's nae an empty bog when yer touching cloth." (King James Bible - Weegie edition)

Ironic considering Auntie Stella dumped various agents into Britain's far left & far right in order to keep them afloat & justify her departmental budget for surveillance on "internal security risks".

Malcolm Carter isn't a UKIP campaigner. He's the owner of heating company Shropshire Gas who went a bit off the rails after his daughter dropped dead & is something of a cliched extreme Tory type of the Thatcher mould (or rather aspires to be - he claims to live in a "mansion" for starters which is bollocks). He is alleged to have previous for this sort of nonsense. He thinks Marine LePen's the bee's knees when she's proscribed along with her party within UKIP ranks. He also appears to love Old Holborn, someone whose attitude to Tory types was along the lines of hanging's too good for them. The accusations that he's a Kipper campaigner in this by-election appear to have arisen only four days later (if his Twitter feed to the post is anything to go by) when a new poll came out saying Harry Hill's got a slight lead over the Labour candidate (which I for one take with a pinch of salt).

Yep, because that was such a bloody rip roaring success last time around. I have always regarded it as ironic that the west couldn't wait to jump all over South Africa, Iran, Libya, Cuba, etc every chance they got, but turned a blind eye even after the Communist bloc imploded to China where those who offend the regime are executed on trumped up charges if someone with good connections is in need of a new kidney, heart, lungs, etc.

I'm not sure Islamicist headcases could play any more into Le Pen's hands if they tried. She's got all the votes she's ever going to get from that section of the vote. What's likely to swing it is the conservative candidate is promising more tax cuts for the wealthy & more cuts for everyone else - a lot of people stand to lose their jobs if Le Pen now loses (who by contrast is promising to spend France's way out of trouble). It all hinges on what the left wing voters are going to do. No way would they have voted for Jean Marie, but Marine? She's got the gays, she's got the Jews, she's even got the Israelis despite daddy giving the FN a massive donation on the eve of her shadow foreign secretary's trip to Israel in a fairly obvious piece of chequebook trolling. Many will now find themselves in a very awkward moral dilemma. The irony is that if she does get in (& let's not say it won't after the Trump business), bang goes any alt-right New World Order as per Trump & Putin's wank fantasies. The FN aren't going to upset their new friends (and Dassault will be drooling at the prospect of regaining all those orders from the IDF), the misogyny of Trump & Putin will only rub Le Pen & her grand daughter (the latter popular amongst France's more conservative voters who see the FN as closet lefties in a tricolour & Pojadist wrapping) the wrong way, & it will only take a few "nons" towards their friends of convenience in the Netherlands & Germany for the pan-populist front across Europe to go down the pan.

Strange, I've just finished reading that. Much preferred "How Late It Was, How Late", but I'll still give his next novel a try. Good to see Djoum doing the business tonight.

At last, some sanity:- http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38864253 A US judge in Seattle has issued a temporary nationwide block on President Donald Trump's ban on travellers from seven mainly Muslim nations. District Judge James Robart ruled against government lawyers' claims that US states did not have the standing to challenge Mr Trump's executive order.

That programme was hilarious. The Shamley Green moggies were shown to be getting up to all sorts of mischief. All manner of conclusions were drawn regarding the cats deliberating going out at set times to avoid confrontations with one another as well as maximising their species hunting potential if their area was under 24 hours feline hunting. Only for the very last household to have seven cats in them behaving entirely differently, going out all manner of times, not caring a shit about other cats cutting through their territory, & generally blowing all their conclusions right out of the water! For those of you who missed it: One hour's worth of full frontal pussy leaving nothing to the imagination.

I have to admit that I am concerned that Nicola seems hell bent on looking for excuses for a second referendum as soon as possible having convinced herself she'd manage to do what Daddy Salmond couldn't. The loss of EU membership is a useful bargain chip from extracting fresh concessions from a Whitehall that took a bookies gamble on a Brexit referendum & lost the lot, but that's it. Rushing to another referendum for reasons that appear to have more to do with her own ego (being the one that took Scotland to independence) than tactical wisdom could be a disaster that fatally damages all the hard work & years of setbacks Scottish nationalism has faced to get to where no one thought this generation would ever live to see. Time is now on the SNP's side. Prove the astuteness of a further empowered Holyrood whilst Westminster staggers from blunder to blunder, scandal to scandal, await another generation entering the electoral registers who grew up in the remaining Labourite/Tory/Flip Flop households where their parents saw their favourites let them down time & time again, & ten years from now they will be in an unassailable position with a nation no longer afraid to run itself entirely.

It's warm in summer It's cold in winter But all the year round You're guaranteed a Glenminter.

Hmmm, wasn't that story & the other one actually bought off the World Weekly News along with much else of their "news" content from it & other such providers (eg. National Inquirer)? The original story was inspired by the Wellington Bomber found in Loch Ness incident back in the mid 80s which gave the red tops something during the silly season.

Very significant that an anti socialist newspaper should be saying this, although the timing is bad coming in the week they are being lampooned for posting the same story twice in their print edition. Who the hell is that talking in the House of Commons? It looks like Ad Lib in drag.

Interesting article in today's Scotsman:- http://www.scotsman.com/sport/football/teams/hearts/why-hearts-prior-recruitment-has-hindered-ian-cathro-1-4354524

Canada is the home of Irshad Manji - she of The Trouble With Islam back in 2003 - & a mere fourteen years later still looks no more likely to collapse in a holy war between Islamophobes or Infidel slayers than when she pissed off the latter & the usual hot air merchants were throwing fatwas around like confetti.

Jacob Greasy Smug is on the box reminding the snivelling peasants how grateful they should be the leader of the free world has taken time away from finding new ways to make himself & his friends richer whilst appeasing the worst instincts of his countrymen. "Now remember Mini Me, if you see anyone who is working class, set the hounds on them!"

Yep, Venus. Just wait until you see it at dawn on a frosty day. The famous Flying Cross UFO fiasco of October 1967 was caused by this (you still get UFOlogists putting sauce & sprinkles on the incident, and "it has never been solved!" in dramatic voices, even though it was throughly debunked at the time) when two incompetent PCs drove their car at high speed over the steep hills & twists of rural Devonshire's B roads, convinced they were chasing a UFO. Not that they were the only ones, people all over the south of England & the Channel Isles were fooled by it.

In October 2011, Cheltenham Association Football League were obliged to send out a circular to remind referees that players urinating in public - whether on or off the field of player - warranted an instant red card. In Scotland urinating in public has been a criminal offence since 2007 carrying a statutory £40 fine, as South Lanarkshire Council's deputy leader discovered a year or two back. A referee is perfectly entitled to remove from the field of play any player whose conduct is in breech of the laws of that country.

Surely most of their trade with the rest of the world is courtesy of off shore sailors from the Russian Northern Fleet who were "just passing through", same as during the Cold War? Allegedly.

Yep, they're making sure they're all fine, if any are tiring they rejig their formation so the ones tiring fall to the rear end where it is easier to fly in the slipstream created by the wings of the other geese in front and just above them. It also maximises their vision to look out for predators. If any tire too much or become ill, they will drop out & three others will fly down with it, catching up with the formation later on (who will make a prolonged stop off at some regular migration spot such as a large lake where there is plenty of food & shelter).

The frightening part about that video was how much it shows Trump to be almost a facsimile of Eric Cartman.