Bert Raccoon

Hot knife it M8

Egg Mayo smells like a rancid fart so I'm out

Ducking hell

It's great seeing guys like him, Punk, Moxley and Regal actually enjoying themselves

I'm with my learned friend on this, crack egg into pan, fry it, lift it

I saw one of them before at The Pavilion once

Give footballers train drivers wages or something like that

I've heard he loves a Boots Meal Deal while he nips in got his hayfever tablets

Had a few bad run ins as a youth When I was quite young there was one family that had about ten brothers (every scheme has them) and one of them took an absolute hatred to me and used to try and attack me at any given chance whilst always with at least one other brother or pal. One day got literally chased home and got in my gate and my dear old gran who was originally from Dublin and wouldn't put up with any shite came out to see what the ruckus was about. Told her I'd been chased so she told the bully that me and him were having a fight out the back one on one to sort it. I battered him and that was the end of it. Ended up playing in a fives team with the brothers a few years later. Got through Primary unscathed as I was good pals with some of the hard men so not a problem but when we all got split up in secondary I had no mates from primary in my class so it was starting from scratch. I still look back and think of it like the first day in jail, should've just battered a big lad on day one and probably would've had an easy time but never happened so being quite quiet and keeping myself to myself, eventually got some grief. Few supposed hardmen trying to have a go and a few actual hardmen taking the piss. Shrugged it all off as much as I could until one day a boy I went to primary with started to show off and asked me out for a fight at the top gates at lunchtime. Well he never turned up but in the way back to registration I saw him and hit first before a second punch could be thrown a teacher grabbed us both and straight to the headmaster. In hindsight we were both victims of bullying, he was essentially bullied into fighting when he didn't want to and I was the victim I suppose. After about fourth year things got a lot easier, most the absolute bams had left and everyone went into their own wee groups. We were the ones that listened to decent music, smoked at lunchtime and could get a hold of soap bar so were left to our own devices but really the first few years of secondary school were horrid and I went to a particularly horrid school. Looking back a good few folk that bullied me are now dead through one way or another which is tragic but you could see how their lives would go

I assume that's why BET365 absolutely kiss up Rangers arse constantly, to get the blue pound as Paddy Power have zero chance?

I have uttered those words and I'm not proud of it in the slightest

I always assumed that Tescos or Asdas were the worst until I heard someone utter the word "Bootsies"

This p***k