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Mark Knopfler

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  • Sultan of Swing
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  1. Rishi Sunak looks like Pedro Caixinha.
  2. Boris wants to pocket Putin's stash of gold.
  3. My lecturer took someones teeth out and made toes grow where the teeth used to be.
  4. I have been studying to be a dentist and hate other people's teeth. What is wrong with them?
  5. How do you look after your physique? I like to take an ice bath.
  6. Ukraine are currently fighting for their independence. Scotland couldn't even be arsed voting for it.
  7. Antarctica has one of the lowest housefire rates in the world, because the majority of houses are actually made out of ice.
  8. You all must be unemployed. Shame.
  9. Football would be a lot more exciting if the fixtures were not released to the public and fans had to find where their team is playing themselves.
  10. It's said that no one ever asks this question, so I am going to ask it. Are YOU happy?
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