Winston Ingram

Tell you what gets on my tits. The most predictable jokes in the world. Like that one where you ask someone something like 'Can I use your pen?' or 'Can I use your toilet' or something like that, and they do a comedy 'no', laugh heartily at their own 'joke' then give you their pen, tell you where the toilet is or whatever. And you know that they're going to do it, and you've got to smirk when they do because the reason you asked is that you aren't familiar enough with them to tell them they are a p***k when they make a shit joke.

The stupid mm/dd/yyyy format that the yanks write the date in. 9/11 my arse.

The Deer Hunter - One of the most overrated films of all time. Slow (the point about these guys being normal hard drinking, steel working, family supporting blue collar Amerkins is so laboured for the 1st hour), and it's thrown together randomly with awful fragmented dialogue. The whole suddenly being in Nam forced to play Russian Roulette by nasty Vietnamese, then Christopher Walken carrying on playing the 1/6 game of chance in Saigon for 5 years is a bit much too. I realise it's meant to be an allegory of what war does to people, and not ultra-realistic, but it was still a load of pish. 2/10

C'mon now, play fair, Cruel Intentions wiz good. Ok, maybe not good, but it had Sarah Michelle Gellar saying 'You can put it anywhere', and french kissing some lassie. As for Meet the Spartans I can only imagine how bad that would be, but if it's anything like Scary Movie then it would be scenes lifted directly from 300 with a fart joke, or a gay joke, or a joke about smoking weed, or a joke about a celebrity inserted. About as funny as blood on your toilet paper. Anyway No Country For Old Men - 7/10 Fargo - 9/10