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Everything posted by dundeebarry

  1. I also thought of the Adamcyzk equaliser game on the way home tonight. Same result, same level of last gasp drama in Dundee's favour. One thing United do very well is make young prospects into great players and there was plenty evidence of that process taking shape again tonight. Spittal in particular was top class, and made me feel affy old. The wee c**t looks about fucking 13. Stepped up to the mark in fine style tonight, the boy will go far. The two teams looked as evenly matched tonight as they have in a lot of years. Wearing Dark Blue blinkers as I do, I thought Dundee might have been the slightly better team over the piece, but all in all it was pretty fucking tight. Ken what, I had tonight's game on my goal rush coupon. I might be rich here. Away to check the English results.
  2. Hard though it is to take late goals like that, you have to admit it was better than good and actually a cracking derby. Dundee were excellent first half, United equally so for most of the second. Plenty blood and guts shit, good football and loads of goalmouth action. That Scott Bain save just before the equalizer though. Stunning.
  3. Watched the game in a pub in Partick. The only c**t in the lounge, sitting shouting at the TV and drinking more than a man out on his own on a Tuesday night probably should. One pint got somewhat salty from the tears as Utd banged in two in quick succession. The already powerful flavour of McCoys Salt & Vineger crisps were bolstered by the sweet taste of hope at Stewart's goal. The epic muthafuckin' SCENES at the equalizer. f**k sake man. Crisps everywhere. After a dementedly joyful lap of the lounge I burst through into the bar screaming "Yaaassssssssssssss!" and scared the shit out the three old boys staring grimly into their pints. Barmaid who looked like she'd killed before and will likely kill again telt me to can it. Considered a flying clothesline but thought better of it, she's dealt with far dafter c***s than me and looked as if she kent her way round a good suplex. Returned to the lounge for more gleeful shouting and responding to messages from Arabs whose gloating was just a tad premature.Fucking brilliant. A great Dundee derby which Dundee won 2-2.
  4. I for one admire Hearts' approach to the season ahead. There's very little "We just want to survive" pish, they've come up with commendable bravado and a justified belief that they'll do well. I'd be surprised to see them floundering in the relegation zone. I've been at the Lochee swimming baths when severely disabled people have been present, and if boys with no arms and little understanding of the "no dive bombing" rule can hold their own in the deep end then I'm damn sure the Jambos can make a decent stab at going top six at the very least.
  5. It's also a poor show from the tattoo artist who agreed to do the job for him. If you're prepared to knock back c***s who are clearly drunk or lack the conviction needed to have Andre the Giant smoking a bong inked on their forehead then surely you have to say no to a swastika job. That's dirty money.
  6. Hearts are back among the big boys and coming to play at Dens? You've got to be Albert Kidding me. Yassss! Welcome back, Jambos.
  7. Have any of the Killie folk on here come across the daft Nazi among their support? I make reference to a young chap my crowd met outside Fanny's after the game. Boy was wearing a Killie top and a dirty great swastika tattoo on his left forearm. He was in his early/mid 20s and wasn't shy in sharing highly disturbing opinions when questioned about his choice of ink. Very weird c**t, a definite "no-righter", as we say in Dundee. Boy gave me the heebie-jeebies. An anomaly among a good support, it must be said. Had a cracking laugh over shared carry outs with some Killie boys on the train back to Glasgow.
  8. There was two queues, you and I were in opposite aines. I was blethering to a guy I ken who I think posts on here as Wattie Rojas. Good c**t. You looked as sparkled as I felt so I refrained from an immediate greeting and played it cool with a #Ching reference in passing. I'd like to hear the full story from ChineseMan. I won't sleep if it transpires I bumped him out his rightful place in the peh queue.
  9. Pretty sure I maintained a degree of peh queue etiquette despite being buckled. If I didn't then I can only apologise wholeheartedly, ChineseMan. I'd have bought your peh had i known I'd acted poorly.
  10. Check out your wee brother http://davidyoung.photoshelter.com/gallery-image/01-08-2015-Kilmarnock-v-Dundee/G0000G.xmPl7GENA/I0000W7cRjMwaxO8 Edit - link doesn't seem to work. Image 99 of 106.
  11. "Yoko" fair enjoyed herself. She's also on a two for two Dundee win record. Might buy her a season ticket. Cracking game and day out. Good to see a few familiar P&B and futba faces.
  12. Delighted to see you, Matty. Took the sting out of missing the third goal as we waited in the peh queue. #thechingertakesitall
  13. Spot on. Paul McGowan is the kind of guy who ignores playing the missions in Grand Theft Auto in favour of running up a 5 star wanted level and seeing how many pigs he can kill in a death-or-glory rampage. He's spent the summer sitting cross-legged in front of the telly, in his Dundee strip, gripping the control pad like it's a copper's throat and yodeling to himself as he explodes things on the screen before him. Boys like Gowser don't need pre-season training, he is good to go at all times. I'd be delighted to see him capped for Scotland. Whilst wearing his tag.
  14. For sure. Will be doing most of my pre-match boozing in Glasgow but will be aiming for one by the ground. Will PM you.
  15. A fine battle cry, Matty. I'll be attending the game in the same spirit. Coyne willing our paths will once again cross as they did when we first met: side-by-side in the Tay Bridge Bar bog, cocks oot, urinating like champions. Incredible scenes. I expect we'll carry the same level of support as was seen last time we played Killie on the first day of the season a few years back. If I remember rightly it was in the region of 7000, a number officially confirmed by Kilmarnock FC and trustworthy P&B member of note craigkillie among others. Who am I to argue. Predictions? 3-1 Dundee, with no more than a dozen away supporters ejected from the stadium.
  16. I'm highly suspicious of that c**t. I've seen him three, maybe four times, and on each occasion he's at an advanced stage of the sculpture process. Which makes me stroke my chin and narrow my eyes somewhat. That boy is fucking at it, H_B. I have two theories on the matter. The first is that he's turning up with that sand dog sculpture already complete and is making a show of adding the finishing touches like he's been working on it all day. Like he built it from scratch. I'm almost certain he hasn't. Like I said, he's always putting the finishing touches on the thing and never in the process of building it. It's just a wee bit too convenient, ken? Think about it. Stroke your chin in unison with me, brother. Theory number two is a little outlandish, but I think you have the eggs to entertain it. It's an actual dog covered in sand. It's the boy's pet pooch. He's sedated it, covered it in adhesive and rolled it around in sand before taking it to the streets and abusing the public's sense of wonder in the hope it will result in spare coins being thrown his way. Which is exactly what is happening. That boy is rich beyond the wildest dreams of yer standard busker. I've seen actual two pound coins in his collection basket. The dog does not move a muscle because it's right off its chops, and for all intents and purposes appears to be made of sand. The public has been duped worse than 9/11 or the promise of halfway decent singing at a Stone Roses reunion gig. Note that the "artiste" doesn't sculpt anything but well chilled looking dogs. I'll be the first to hold my hands up if he starts knocking out sand goats, pigs or Darren Jacksons, but until then I remain unconvinced of the legitimacy of his supposed talent. Boy's fucking at it, H_B. I'm absolutely sure of it.
  17. Vote Jocky! That "Or select your own..." field in the above link is just begging for "Jocky from The Tartan Special One by Barry Phillips" in it. It's almost sexual. Penetrate that thing, people. Stick your Jocky-voting dicks in it and f**k it like Hamilton Accies molesting expectations as to who'd be top of the league at this stage of the season. Oh Lordy.
  18. Cheers Mo. I'm going to abuse the f**k out the voting system's technical deficiencies. I'd encourage anyone else who can be arsed to do the same. If I beat c***s like Rabbie Burns, JK Rowling, Irvine Welsh and such like it's a massive win for myself, P&B and internet stupidity in general. We have the power to make it happen. #votejocky
  19. Fairmuir had great teams throughout the years. I played for Lochee BC in the late 80s/early 90s and they were still the team to beat a decade after your brother played them. Some of the games we played back then drew bigger crowds than lower league professional fixtures. Lochee vs Celtic BC in the Scottish Cup at Lochee Park had several hundred spectators. Pretty remarkable for an under-12s game. I was fucking petrified walking onto the pitch that day. Some buzz though.
  20. Well said, man. I'm acquainted with some DCT journalists. Good c***s to a man, and the majority of them Dundee boys as much as you and I are. I can only imagine they would heartily disagree, and be pissed right off with, the kind of output the paper has produced here. The Derry at Dens is one of the last bastions of old school Scottish football enclosures. It is loud. It is rumbustious. It has loads of c***s jumping about getting right into, and indeed creating, the atmosphere at the match. Long may that continue. I wouldn't change it for the world. Nae danger it's sectarian or in any way out of control, though. Yes, the odd banger will lose the plot and act daft. Yes, the odd banger will shout or do something no c**t else in the area likes or agrees with. Such is life as a supporter of any team. I've spent more than enough time in the Derry to know it's heart is true. My parents have been season ticket holders there for years innumerable, and trust me when I say my old dear would be the first to abdicate to the Main Stand should shit get out of control in our beloved South Enclosure. The Derry fuckin' rules. This is as good a time as any to link you up to an article I wrote on the mighty Dees for The Long Ball website recently. Shameless plug ahoy
  21. If ever there was an opportunity for the P&B massive to repay me for assassinating xbl (RIP) it's right here and now. Submit an entry with "Jocky from The Tartan Special One by Barry Phillips" in the appropriate field or I might kill you with a futba sock filled with snooker balls too. Thank you. #votejocky
  22. Indeed it is. The flag wasn't mine by the way. I had a bed sheet with "WATCH LORRAINE KELLY'S SEX TAPE AT WWW.MUCKYARABSNATCH.CO.UK" spraypainted on it but the polis took it off me at the gate. Apparently I have to go through official channels if I want to advertise stuff at the game. Dundee were terribly unlucky today. Dominant from kick off, chance after chance and we just couldn't put them away. Credit to United for hitting us on the break four times. At the end of the day it's all about taking your chances. Great game, would watch again.
  23. A few of my pals are Saintees and I joined them for pre-match shenanigans in the city centre. It was braw. I didn't go to the game but I was jumping about at the St Johnstone goals as if it were Dundee scoring them. I have a lot of love for you lot, Tam. St Johnstone are my wee team.
  24. I’d encourage the Dundee support to continue singing traditional fermer-bashing anthem “St Johnstone’s Won f**k All” at this game. The whole support, in unison, from start to finish. The bold Saintees will laugh at first. “Ho ho ho, observe the wacky shenanigans of the socially, culturally and sexually superior visitors to the local area. Marvellous.” But keep singing it. And singing it. And singing it. Confusion starts to flutter through the home support like a soft breeze through one of Geoff Broon’s many, many hay fields. One tweed jaiket-wearing pig cock-sucker turns to another and asks, “Oo-arrr, sir, what be goin’ on ‘ere then?” The boy next to him doesn’t answer because he’s too busy hand-rearing a young billy goat. “f**k ALL! ST JOHNSTONE’S WON f**k ALL!” Over and over and over. As anyone who’s watched Screech fae Saved by the Bell’s porno will attest, confusion can very quickly turn to fear. The fermers will be fucking terrified, asking themselves if Parkhead was all but a dream. Serious questions will be asked of their collective sanity. c***s will be freaking the f**k out, wailing, moaning with even more bouts of braying than is normal at McDiarmid. Live, and perhaps some frozen chickens will be getting chucked about left, right and centre. Feathers flying like Perth confetti. By the time the full-time whistle goes and the Dundee players celebrate their 16-3 victory, St Johnstone fans will believe they didn’t win the cup, that Geoff Broon is the High Chief of the Perthshire branch of the NWO (that might actually be true) and Stevie May was actually Motherwell stalwart Stevie Kirk in a bad fucking wig. How sound is your mind really, fermer?
  25. Friends, The second release on the mighty Teckle Books, Clubbed To Death by Grant Hill, is now available to order at www.tecklebooks.co.uk I've had the pleasure of reading an advance copy and can tell you it's a fucking great read, and very funny. This is an official double thumbs up recommendation, people. Buy it or face terrible consequences.
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