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Hedgecutter

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Hedgecutter last won the day on April 22

Hedgecutter had the most liked content!

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About Hedgecutter

  • Rank
    Pub League Reject
  • Birthday January 1

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Obar Dheathain
  • My Team
    Brechin City

Recent Profile Visitors

19,182 profile views
  1. Kilmarnock v Sevco 5088

    Does Kilmarnock have an NHS dentist? I was in Kilmarnock for a wedding last month and couldn't help notice that the majority of locals there had a mouth full of rotten teeth (if any at all)
  2. Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

    Weather forecasters that use these terms such as 'miserable' are another of my PTTGOYN. I want to hear the results from the weather models, not their personal opinion of how it should affect us. With people citing how rain can be shite, sun can be shite too. I'll hear Judith telling me that it's going to be a "glorious" day of clear skies and 28 degrees, only to then have to slap the suncream on that'll be sweating off within 30 mins if I'm hillwalking. Cool, dry and clear is perfect in such instance (rain won't put me off, but fewer layers are better). I'll often find that hayfever is noticeably worse on such warm days. That can do one. If I'm out caving and there's a long walk-in, this is f***ing miserable if you have to carry all your gear up in the baking heat wearing a fleece 'furry'. Getting burned or having to drag suncream around during a caving trip are two of life's cruel ironies. Some of these things are boring without water but superb when a river is bouncing through them. Basically, sun is overrated,this in part being the result of weather forecasters indoctrinating the masses.
  3. Brechin City 2018 /19

    The key bits from the website:
  4. Cove Rangers Champions

    Statistically I'll miss one of them due to be being offshore. In reality, I'll probably end up being away for both. (cue the "there'll always be the next season" post)
  5. Cove Rangers Champions

    A Brechin game within 5 miles of my hoose for the first time in 31 years, wooooo!
  6. The Pars will have Alloa for a derby, and after that it's, err... Dundee Utd, or failing that, Dundee. Everything else for them will be 'meh'. Sounds s***e.
  7. I love red meat, I have a coal fire, I have crap cavity wall insulation that I can't get fixed until I rip out the fire and install an approved stove, have an old and relatively inefficient boiler the size of a washing machine (I also have a tumble dryer), and I work on an oil rig that's developing a new oil field out in the Atlantic Ocean, which I fly out to using a 20% full charter flight and a helicopter. I also support a 'football team' that means I have to travel 85 miles return just to see a home game. But as many of you know, I get the bus everywhere. So I'm kind of green.
  8. Hello? Hamilton? Oh you're safe? Oh hallelujah. Modified from The Moonster (2019)
  9. This is Why I Hate People. A Confession

    Last year I been part of a group wild camping on a small island in the Okavango Delta where the only water around is hippo infested. Those of you that have been to such latitudes will know that high temperatures and poo make for a particularly honking aroma, hence we had a designated part of the island to take the trowels to. Obviously this was far too inconvenient for one lazy fucker, who evidently shat wherever they pleased in the night, evidently avoiding the foul end of the island. Every now and then you would hear a scream, as some Aussie sheila encountered the phantom shitter's business. The place felt like a sub-tropical African war zone as if there were mortars around every corner that you could stand on at any time. It was inevitable that one would get trampled on, although this was somebody else's in the toilet area where somebody hadn't used the shovel to bury the deed. Unfortunately I know this as it was my tent-mate that fell victim to this particular rogue turd, who dragged some of it back to the tent on his white trainers in the dark of night and was attempting to pick it from between the sole treads with a twig in the morning. I now can't see an Attenborough programme about the region or hippos without phantom burning in my nostrils. Westerners are manky b*****ds.
  10. Calling Cards of Morons

    Should have been at Glebe Park after our game with Stenny. If you're going to have an end of season awards ceremony during which players get photos as they accepting their awards, make sure it's outside in the stand in front of the supporter's club an hour after being relegated.
  11. Calling Cards of Morons

    The kids tend to share material that they'll then talk about at school the following day or whenever (did you see that video? etc etc), using it as something to drive conversation. Compare this to adults who'll come home and sit on their tablet (and tod), pointlessly browsing unfunny banal guff from people they've not seen in weeks, months or years, the only interaction with others being a click of the 'like' button.
  12. Calling Cards of Morons

    I presumed that was the abstract, but it's nothing but a two page 'paper' that evidently thinks that Bebo still exists as a social media platform and basically admits that it's a load of waffle driven by some dodgy stats.
  13. Things you want to share with P&B

    Same here! Just don't wear loose trousers when you're lying down face up for a while. Things can get awkward.
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