tamthebam

You get a dafter investor at Sproggett and Silvester.

I'll have to nick that top one!

If this scenario was played out in "The Broons" you'd be Paw Broon, the book would be called "How to improve your memory" and the rest of the Broons would call you a daft gowk As it is your book is probably in the bog.

True- how about a meme along the lines of "Amazon and Facebook should be properly taxed and the money used to help everyone. Share if you agree" because I've never seen that sort of thing

@Shandön Par 's plates?

Spike Milligan once did an ad for the Clydesdale Bank but I've never been able to find it. It did have a talking moose head in it

What's Dick Campbell looking happy about?

He's the Tool in "Toolstation"

I thought they were on a night boat to Cairo

Starved of watching football I now have an irrational urge to sneak into Moray and watch Burghead Thistle, Buckie Rovers or Dufftown... Wish me luck getting past the ring of steel around the frontiers. I need Donald Pleasance to forge me the identify of a fermer from Cuminestown... "Ma name is Dod Milne and I'm a fermer fae roond here. Fit like, fa's yer doo's, honest officer.."

It's known as AQI or Australian Question Intonation. The technical term is High Rising Terminal although I'd call it "c*ntspeak" myself.

"Space is big. Really big. I mean you might think it's a long way to go to the shops but that's peanuts compared to space" The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Some of Tam Cowan's musical choices on the Sunday OTB are actually quite good and some of Stuart Cosgrove's Northern Soul choices are pish

I hope there will be a minute's silence at Ibrox for their loyal servant. Actually he did Hibs a favour in 1991. In the Skol Cup Semi Final he awarded Dunfermline a dubious penalty against Airdrie that was outside the box. Hibs beat the Pars in the Final but I suspect Airdrie v Hibs would have been a different match. ETA: Well, yes, it would have been Airdrie v Hibs. I have a wee suspicion that Airdrie team may well have beaten Hibs in the Final.

I wouldn't know, teacher confiscated Wee Jimmy's magazine before I could see it.