rajpelt

Got fingered by an obese dwarf. Just been lying low.

Fancy a square go? Meet you at the chippy. We can have a chip buttie before we kick off skin on skin.

Sadly not, fatherhood hit. The fact the mother is only 9 means I have to step up to the plate!?

That wasn't in the grooming handbook.

SHIN FEIN!!!

He's here, he's queer, he likes beans on toast, Stevie Roast! Stevie Roooooooooast! Ever met Stevie? hits a mint free-kick.

haribo'd oot ma pickle.

Banned? me? I was in prison, could have sworn he was 16.

You talk to some amount of skirt on here, good work.

The fanny comment was top notch, keep it up and you've every chance of getting that Justin Fashanu car sticker you've been going on about.

Hey champ, how about you sit the next couple of plays out. Yeah, maybe just stop talking for a while.

Quite the opposite, your more dangerous, a dark horse like black beauty carrying a flick knife.

Dropeth of the balleth on the muslim thread, who were you trying to be?

That's a bloody beautiful photo of you, oh yes it is.

You know as well as I do that Perez doesn't touch a drop of alcohol.

Where the heck did you get that pic of me?

Ah the old cock in the ear finishing move! I can tell you were trained in warnings at a young offenders institution. Nowt wrong with that. amen.

by ear do you mean arse, and by word do you mean cock?

do you still have your Turkish kebab knife license? I would have sworn they'd taken it off you after that incident with Denzil the gay.

Aye, mental Turks, he still turns up in my street wi his kebab knife and 'Yogi' - radge b*****d that he is! Whit aboot that time you shaved that badger doon the park?

aye she has a banging tadger like, bit embarrassing when she whaps it oot during karaoke but different strokes and all that.

LOLZER he's total bumpy danned yer etch-a-sketch! widnae mess wi ma dad like, since he found out my mums got a cock he's pure radge.

You should use that scrotom line on potential 'tarts' - it's nearly worked on me.

You make me feel brand new.

some barry stories cunto, sometimes I imagine you with a shaven head (by head I mean balls).

You have a super ace name.

Want to buy a rustler burger?